A Tale of Love Lost

Rosie has been asked so often about her sotries that she has finally decided to tell everyone the story behind her books about her youth and childhood. She is only 22 but in that time she has gained wisdom beyond her years. Love and loss form the background to what she hopes will be a lasting relationship.

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2. Murk in the Water

Then came the first loss and it was a big one; we moved house the new house was over half an hour and for a child as young as I was that was a long way. I lost my stable life, my popularity, the guy that my heart favoured and I found myself in a relative living hell. I was in a new school but now I was no longer miss popularity and I found I got along with none of the girls; this led to me being bullied by some of the popular girls. For me this was a totally new experience I was used to being the popular power and I had never seen anyone get bullied I had always hated to see anyone get picked on and I had always intervened. At this school I got my first real lesson in how harsh the world could be.  I got along with the guys after a while but they were only friends to me there were some who seemed to like me more than that but now I was in the habit of thinking I wasn’t good enough.

 

The first few years of secondary passed with their own small loves and losses but nothing major. I wasn’t till my final three years in school that my passionate nature brought itself to the fore again, I fell in love. When I say I fell in love I don’t mean I tripped or I drifted into, no I fell and I fell hard and fast before I even realised what was happening. I fell for a guy I knew didn’t like me like I loved him and he never would, it was the type of guy you know you shouldn’t fall for, the type you know is wrong but you just can’t help falling for him. I fell for him anyway, what I didn’t realise was how much that small uncontrollable event would impact my life. When he discovered my infatuation and my naivety he exploited it. I lost a lot of the credibility and hardworking honest girl image I had gained in the years I had been at that school and suddenly I was a slut. This new image made life hard for me and made most of my interactions with guys strained. For me this was another big loss I had always enjoyed the company of boys. It also led to a lot of gossiping about me. In a way this one event managed to change me completely I didn’t want relationships because they could end up hurting you I didn’t believe what guys said and I put up a façade so no one would see the truth.

Now I am regretting that, I am twenty two and I have met a man that makes me want to forget everything that has gone before. After that incident in secondary school I loved and lost many times sometimes it was to another girl. Sometimes it was my fretful and capricious nature that pushed them away. Sometimes history got in the way and opened a divide. But this man makes me want to forget it all, to take a chance, yet part of me won’t let that happen part of me says that I will only get my heart broken all over again.

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