Letting Go

After being brutally abused by her father and outcasted by her classmates, seventeen year old Keller Alvidas is glad and even relieved to spend her last year at Edge-of-The-World, the sleepy small town she grew up in. Everything changes when the Gabriels, a group of orphaned teenage boys arrives. They break all her rules about meeting new people but they too have secrets and when the truth comes out Keller has to decide wether to let go and save herself or to continue to be dragged through everything she wanted to run away from, all for one chance she might never get.

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18. Because I Need To

Keller's P.O.V

 It's like swimming, what I'm doing. In and out, drifting in and out.  I'm awake, for now. I was awake when the doctor told my friends why I'm in the hospital. What did he call it again? Emotional stress disorder, or something. He said that I was under a lot of stress and it overloaded my brain or something and now I'm in this weird dream state. Basically, I'm out cold. Most of the time. During times like these, when I'm awake, I have only a couple minutes before I fall again. Always falling.

Why am I waiting again? The room goes out of focus but I force my brain to remain awake. I'm waiting for James, I suddenly remember. Waiting for him to burst through the doors and grab my hand like he did yesterday. Waiting for him to tell me about his day even though he thinks I can't hear him. I'm waiting for the slightest indication that he feels the same way about me. Daylight fades to black but I still force my self to stay awake, I'm still convinced he'll come. I let a chuckle escape my mouth, I was always stubborn like that.

The sharp smell of medical alcohol cuts through my thoughts like knives cut through skin. Knife, skin. The words bring back memories, memories of last night. I remember the knife at my throat and Gerald's breath down my neck and I shiver, my nerves react quickly and I can't seem to stop the quivering. He put me in here. He made me weak, again. 

I feel my head getting woozy again and check my hands one last time. Whole and unbroken. Clean but still full of my old scars, perfect. I feel myself drifting towards the darkness and I don't resist. He isn't coming, I know that now. Darkness rushes to me faster, quicker than ever and I give up unyeildingly. I am completely letting go.

James' P.O.V

I stare at the clock urging it to go faster, to speed up time. Finaaly my prayers are answered and by the time the minute clock hits three thirty I  fly out of class to make it to the hospital, I need to see Keller. I smile as I walk out of the school, just  a few more blocks. I stop short, noticing a little blond figure from school following behind me. I thought it would be rude to keep walking so I reluctantly turn around.

"May I help you?" I ask unconvincingly.

"It's time you stopped. You know how hard it is to walk in these heels?" the person snarls while rubbing her ankle.

"Well, then why did you where them?" I scoff.  I feel bad. That was rude.

"I'm sorry, but can I help you?" I try again. She smiles, her perfect teeth seeming more like a wolf's the more I look at them.

"Yes, actually. Do you know this girl?" she asks holding up a picture of Keller, who actually is smiling. Keller, all dark eyes and dark hair and snippy remarks.

"What do you want with her?" I ask suspiscion coursing through me.

"Oh, nothing yet. Now answer me, do you know this girl?" she questions showing a picture of another girl. Dark eyes, dark hair, but dead. Alice. I try to quickly grab it out of her hand but she swipes it away just as quick.

"Where did you get that?" I whisper angrily. She just smiles her little wolf smile, completely unfazed.

"That's not important. What's important is the fact you guys killed her."

"She was Al's sister, we never laid a finger on her."

"All the same, I can say you killed her. I have ties with the detective who investigated her and maybe I can accidently let it slip that you are a murderer. All five of you are murderers," she smiles. I know where this is going, I need to act as if I don't care.

"So, what if I care?" I try to say nonchalantly.

"You care, because she was Al's sister, you said so yourself. Killing your best friend's sister. Tsk, tsk." I sigh and run my fingers through my hair, outraged.

"What do you want?" I try to make my voice calm but it comes out a hiss.

"Now, don't hiss at me or I might just go back to school and tell everyone now." She walks back and I hurry to catch up. I tug at her arm, pulling her back. She laughs and fake pouts to the point where I want to smack her. How dare she wiggle Alice's picture in front of my face and expect me to grovel and act pathectic. I struggle to keep my voice level.

"What do you want?" I try again.

"Better. Now everyone knows you like Keller," she starts, "a little more than friends. Don't deny it. Everyone can see the way you look at her when you think she's not looking. Goodness, even she can see it. Now, I need to teach her a little lesson." I gulp, am I that transparent?

"Anyway, I need you to love her, although I'm already sure you have that part down. I also need you to get her to love you. And then the fun can begin," she laughs. I shake my head, I will never do this. I can't hurt Keller, never.

"No? You wont' help me out? What would poor Alice say?"

"No! Don't say anything about Alice. I'll do it. I'll do it," I give in. I can't hurt the guys either.

"Good, now I'll call you and we'll talk," she says walking up to me.

"But you don't know my number," I point out confused. She doesn't reply.

"Fine, what's your name?" I ask. I should at least get to know her name before I'm forced against my will to help her sabotage Keller. She pauses for a second and just pats my cheek.

"My name is irrelevant. Such a shame you went for Keller though," she says. She struts off, my mind mentally strangling her. I can't anger her though, she has Alice and she can already make Kelller's life worse without me. I start off towards the hospital again but stop once I reach the door. Keller thinks she loves me, and that's exactly what the girl wants. I need to make her hate me. I have to make her curse the day she met me, no matter how much it hurts.

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