Letting Go

After being brutally abused by her father and outcasted by her classmates, seventeen year old Keller Alvidas is glad and even relieved to spend her last year at Edge-of-The-World, the sleepy small town she grew up in. Everything changes when the Gabriels, a group of orphaned teenage boys arrives. They break all her rules about meeting new people but they too have secrets and when the truth comes out Keller has to decide wether to let go and save herself or to continue to be dragged through everything she wanted to run away from, all for one chance she might never get.

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26. After the Musical

A/N

Thanks for all the positive comments! This is my very first story I've ever published and hearing comments like that are very humbling and exciting, it really made my day! Thank you for even reading this! Love you all xxx.

James' P.O.V

This is not happening, not now. Screw this all, all this blackmail and lies and everything. I look back at the rearview mirror to see Keller's silohuette running away as fast as she can. Can I never stop hurting people? I start the engine again, it was never really broken, my blackmailer wanted me to fake the breakdown so I could walk back with Keller and get all romantic and shit. Well she got what she wanted. I meet her behind the theater where we watched Les Mis. I jump out of the truck and join her in the shadows.

"What happened?" she asks eagerly, "Were the tickets worthwhile?" Another thing, it wasn't my idea to get the tickets either. Don't get me wrong, I knew Keller wanted to watch Les Mis, I just couldn't afford them.

"Yes, and you were right. She loves me," I gulp. I said it as if it were somthing vile, which it is. Now that Keller said it, twice actually, she's putty in my blackmailer's hands. And I helped.

"She did? What a stupid little-" she laughs.

"She's not stupid," I mutter, a small act of defiance.

"What was that?"

"She's not stupid," I say  a little louder this time.

"Like you actually care," she mocks. That sets my blood boiling. I clench my fists, open, close, open ,close.

"I did until you came an messed everything up!" clench, unclench, "You, you with your stupid pointless reasons had to mess with Keller and you had to drag me in this! I actually made her run away, good Lord..." I trail off and bury my face in my hands. Tears of embarassment all over Keller's soft brown eyes, all beause I was a stupid jerk who answers at the beck and call of a different girl who wants to destroy her.

"She ran away? Did you mess something up?" she asks suspsciously.

"Yes, I did. I messed up our relationship," I whisper.

"Ugh. Your sentimentality bores me. You know how cheesy you look and sound right now? Boo hoo, I'm going to hurt her, my little precious Keller, wah wah! Get over it, she'll forget about you sooner or later," she mocks. I try not listen to her but her words strike like blows to the chest. Keller will forget me, sometime after she finds out. She'll be broken-hearted but she'll get over it. She's strong, always has been and always will. She'll curse my name and the day she met me but afterwards she'll laugh and wonder what she got so worked up over. Me, a simple guy who used her like everyone else had. Something inside me snaps, I can't let that happen.

"You're so heartless, you know that? No wonder no one likes you," I say.

"Everyone likes me, I'm beautiful and-"

"Keller is ten times more beautiful. And she's got personality to match," I say proud that someone that great loves me. Silence meets the other end and I smile, success.

"Does your beautiful Keller know that you guys were,or should I say are, murderers? Does she know that you guys are currently fugitives?" she asks after a while. That's another thing I haven't told Keller. Yes, we are currently fugitives but no one's ever really cared, our case wasn't high profile. How ironic that no one except the falsely accused murderers ever cared about Alice's death.

"You know that that's fake," I whisper.

"I don't know, the report looked pretty real to me," she says whipping out the official report.

"Don't tell anyone please, the guys, they'll lose it," I beg.

"I won't tell, as long as you do as you're told," she says with fake sweetness. God, I hate when I'm under someone else's power, "Now run along, and play nice with her. Make her feel as if she's in the clouds."

"Why?" I ask disgustedly.

"So when she falls out of them it'll hurt much more than if she on the ground."

---

Keller's P.O.V

I wake up to see moonlight filtering inside the living room of the orphanage. I stretch my legs out to get rid of some of the stiffness and I kick my dirty flats off and fling them across the room. I brush off the sticky tears on my face as I see James make his way inside. Good Lord I can't hide now. Play dead, my mind screams but that's ridiculous, I can't be dead, silly mind. Instead I lay my head back down and close my eyes hoping that he won't notice me. I pray over and over again, don't see me, don't see me. No such luck.

"You couldn't make it to your bed could you," chuckles James as he picks me up. Heat courses up my spine as my head lulls back and forth like a ragdoll. He still thinks I'm asleep, good. He shuffles inside my room and sets me down on my bed gently. My fingers latch around his neck and he quietly undos them. Slowly, almost as if he doesn't want to. Is it bad of me to not want him to also?  Before he leaves my bedside I murmur out a thanks, out of habit. I immediately shut my mouth with my hand but I blew it, right when I was in the clear.

"You were awake?" James asks incrediously.

"Yes," I admit. I half sit up on my bed and stare out at my window remembering the day I fell out of it.

"Look about today-" he starts.

"No, no it's fine. I over reacted," I say but he cuts me off.

"That's not what I was going to say. What I wanted to say was that can we pick up where we left off, you know before the phone call and stuff?" I think about it, picking up where we left off, that sounds alright. I look over to his blue eyes and they seemto pull me towards them. I get up and walk up to James. He finds my waist and holds me closer than he ever did when we were in the field. Thrills run all over my body as I drape my arms around his shoulders and I know that I might regret this later but I somehow forgive him. James makes me feel special and different and yet I can't trust someone who has this kind of hold over me. Nevertheless, I bury my face in the crook by his shoulder and swing along to the soundless music.

"You don't trust me do you," he says. I've kind of gotten used to the mind-reading.

"It's just that you, at my final year here show up and," I cut off, "it's just that it's almost too good to be true you know?"

"Yeah, I know how you feel," he says.

"Thanks, for everything," I say after a moment.

"Don't say thank you to me," he says bitterly.

"Why?" I look up into his eyes and see pain, deeply-set.

"Nothing," he says. I close my eyes and we dance a little more.

"I'm sorry it took me this long but I love you," he whispers. The words run over like a wave, engulfing me and lifting me up until I feel like I'm somewhere else entirely, somewhere that can save me.

"You didn't take too long, you're just in time," I reply and moonlight mixes with James's eyes until I can't tell the difference anymore.

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