I'm tired, but I felt I needed to update. I planned to enter the John Green contest, but I ended up writing six hundred words about my experience in romance. Or lack of. Enjoy my negativity.


1. This will be the only chapter.

When you’re my age, everyone around you is falling in love. Well, supposed love. Relationships that last two weeks, but hey, at least they had the chance to fall for this chemical reaction in their brains. For a short period of time, at least.

I’ve been described as a ‘Scrooge of Relationships’ before. This made me laugh. I don’t oppose them; I don’t hate it when people are coupled up together. I don’t mind it when my friends talk about these boys I’ve met once or twice and how they’re completely head over heels. I really don’t mind this, but when this romance is merely an illusion, that’s when I have a problem. I don’t get the idea of a short relationship. I know it takes trial and error to find the one, but for god’s sake, we’re fifteen and sixteen, only a minute minority get their high school sweetheart.

I’m negative, I know. I’ve never been truly in love. This is now beginning to sound like a diary entry, and I guess it is of sorts. It’s hard to talk about. I always hear from older (and supposedly wiser) people that love hurts, that it’s the most heart aching thing that you’ll ever experience. This is what I don’t understand. Why would anyone want to put themselves in that position? But then when I see the couples that are so clearly made for each other, they’ve got some kind of glow about them. They’re completely, one hundred and ten percent happy. I want to be that. I want to have someone that treats me like a princess, someone who takes the time and effort to make me happy. And I’m more than willing to give that all back in return. But if I’m ready to do that, then why have I still never fallen in love?

Here’s the point. I’m still only fifteen. I’ve lived a decade and a half on this planet. Now tell me, how on earth (pun intended) am I supposed to find love in that short time? I want to live my life; I want to get experience before I even dream of falling in love with anybody.

I’m not saying there hasn’t been a time where I’ve wanted to be in love though. I’m being hypocritical to what I’ve just written, but sometimes you imagine It would be nice to have someone there for you when you fall, you know what I mean? Oh, I don’t even know who I’m talking to. Mostly to myself nowadays.

Anyway, like I mentioned before, love and attraction is merely a chemical reaction inside your brain. And you’ve got almost no control over what happens up in there, so falling in love could literally happen at any time. I guess that’s what happened to my friends. I just don’t want to see them get hurt. I don’t want to see them with their hearts broken and I don’t want to see them sad. And I don’t want to be sad either, part of the reason I haven’t fallen in love.

Is it possible to change your mind? Of course it is. I don’t know what’ll happen tomorrow. I could stop in the street and bump into the most perfect person I’d ever meet. I could be completely cliché and date the adorable new guy in my class, that is, if there was one. I could even fall in love with one of my guy friends. I don’t know what’s waiting for me in the future, particularly concerning my love life, or lack of, whatever. I’ve decided to go with it. And when, if, I do fall in love? I’ll be sure to let you know. 

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