(This movella is set as if One Direction isn't famous.)
Ashalee York was always one to try and hide away, she only showed who she really was to her one friend Jay. Ashalee is shy, and a good girl (who sometimes likes to bend the rules) and she is insecure about herself. Ashalee is your average girl in every way on the outside. But on the inside she deals with the constant struggle, the rage on inside of her mind, she's bipolar. It may be fate, chance, destiny, or whatever you call it but she finds herself mixed up with Harry Styles who wants to show her that she doesn't have to close people out. But he doesn't know about the mental war the wages deep within her mind and maybe if he did know he would leave her and label her as a freak like the rest of society.


48. I'm Not Okay

Ashalee's POV

I  sat down on my bed and began to wonder what Harry is doing. I wasn't sitting there thinking about him every second of the day or crying over him, or even thinking about revenge or anything. I wasn't feeling some kind of tortured pain over this guy. I was actually surprising myself because I wasn't feeling complete anger or complete sadness. Or maybe I took an extra pill today to calm my nerves. It wasn't until that bastard called me, at first he was just a jealous mess but when his raspy voice edged over the phone lines that's when I realized he was a bastard toying with me. Even if he didn't realize he was doing it.

"Ash, just hear me out. I've done something terrible."

I shrugged holding the phone between my cheek and shoulder while sketching out a picture of a girl on my canvas, my hands covered in the charcoal I was using. I was tired and when he frantically shed those words I didn't really put my thought into it.

"What'd you do Harry?"

My hands brushed over the picture smearing some of the charcoal on the her hair making it shade and blend in contrasting with the paper. I smeared the eyebrows too making them dark, creasing them.

"I had sex with Ally. I didn't mean to, the crazy thing is I want to be with you. I know we aren't together anymore I just felt like you deserved to know. I don't know why."

I dropped the charcoal and looked at the girl. I peered up and looked in the mirror across from my bed. Hell, I was emotionless.

But the girl in my picture looked just liked me, but she looked angry. The picture was me, how I felt. Why would he tell me this. That he had fucked Ally after we broke up?

"Ash...Ash...say something are you okay?"

I dropped the phone, and found the closest thing I could find, some nail polish. I threw it, and let out a scream. I watched as the magenta colored liquid dripped from my walls. The glass bottle shattered.

"Ashalee! Ashalee! Ash, talk to me!"

Harry had obviously heard me. I looked at my charcoal drawing again. Her eyebrows in a horrid frown, how I felt.

"I wanted to get back with you. Punching Brent told me you cared, having sex with Ally proved I was easy to replace." I stated.

Harry was silent, expect for his nervous breathing.

"I'm sorry Ash. Are you okay? What that noise. What happened?"

To hell with the medication I was too heated. It's effects weren't enough to keep me cooled down.

"Why the hell do you think I'd be okay. I'm not okay Harry!"

I hung up and my mother and father frantically came pushing through the doorway. They looked at me unsure to approach my angry rage. But when I looked in their eyes I broke down crying. There it was, there is that anger and sadness I was talking about earlier.

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