The Moment When You Fall

My second entry for the Fault in Our Stars competition.
This one is about love.
The first few lines are of the song Yours To Hold by Skillet.

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1. The Moment When You Fall

Dear Amelia

I see you standing there.

You're so far away.

Starving for your attention.

You don't even know my name.

I have known you since the moment you walked into my classroom and into my life. That was five years ago. I loved you, but I didn't know it. All I knew was that I wanted to be noticed. I wanted someone to look at me and feel something special. Little did I know that I wanted it to be you.

Everything about you seemed perfect. Your straight, raven hair and piercing blue eyes. The freckles that dotted your cheeks, and spread over your face.

What I found out about love is, people fall in love the way they fall asleep. Slowly, then all at once.

It was a gradual process. At first, I only liked your looks. I didn't know you well enough to know any different. Day by day, I would stare at you in class, completely unaware of everything else that was surrounding my daily life. I was kept back for detention countless times, and forced to do my unfinished schoolwork then.

I loved the sound of your name rolling off the teacher's tongue. The only time mine was spoken was when I was in trouble for not paying attention. I am not blaming you for the many times that I was in trouble. Actually, I am grateful. It seemed to be the only way I got any glances from you. But I still only loved your face, and not the person inside.

Soon, I started to get to know you. I found out that you lived near me, and often we would bump into each other at the park that stood between our houses. You never knew how my heart lifted and spirits soared from even just looking at you.

We started to talk and enjoyed each others company more and more with every passing day. I began to like your personality, and not your looks. I began to dig deeper, and I wanted more and more time with you.

As we got to know each other, I grew to realise that you had a special place in my heart. I wanted you to be my one. Had I fallen in love? I didn't know. I thought I had. But I was wrong. There's more to the story than just that. There always is.

I knew that you went to that park and sat on the swings every Sunday at 10:30am. I started to 'accidentally' run into you each and every week. I had to be with you. But still, it was more of a crush than love.

You made me seem like an imperfection. I was an imperfection. Everyone is. The painful thing is, you still don't realise that the flaws are what make you beautiful. But I loved them. Correction: I love them.  I still do. I always will. But you made me look terrible. Your pitch black hair and gleaming blue eyes seemed heavenly, whilst my tangle of red locks and green irises just seemed too normal, far from different. A real, true version of Beauty and the Beast, but at that point, we hadn't reached the ending. We were only halfway there.

By the time we finished school, I was head over heels. I loved you. I knew it by then. I knew I loved you, but I didn't know I had fallen. Reading this, you're probably questioning what the difference is. Well, when you're in love, you know that you have given the key to your heart to someone special. But when you've fallen, there's no going back. There's no one who can fill that void. That hole in my heart when I wasn't near you, it killed. It still does. Whenever you turn around and walk out the door, someone digs the hole up again, and it can only be covered when you return.

Graduation night. You and I graduated from university. The night when I won you over. When we realised we were meant to be, that our futures both invloved one another. We put in the final pice to the puzzle at the celebration held in honour of those graduating, when I finally worked up my courage and asked you to be my girlfriend. I knew that I wouldn't have to worry about that hole in my heart, because you were mine.

I knew that night, that I had fallen.

Last year, June 25th. I married the woman of my dreams. I married you. You changed your name, we made promises to each other, and now I know that we will never be apart. You will never leave me, I will never leave you.

This was the story of how I fell for you.

And now, you're mine, five years after that day when you walked through the faded school door. Here I am, holding you in my arms, singing in your ear as you fall asleep. Here you are, carrying our little baby boy in your growing stomach. Our family. You, me and a child. Just like we had planned three years ago, when I first asked you out.

I love you. I always will. Never forget that.

Love, Tommy.

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