How To Save A Life

My entry for The Fault In Our Stars competition.

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1. How To Save A Life

She is running a hundred miles an hour in the wrong direction.

~*~*~*Flashback*~*~*~

She rolls down the sleeves of her shirt, making sure they cover from the inside of her elbows down. Guessed yet? She cuts. Want to know what's wrong? It's written on her arm in blood. Unloved. Worthless. Nothing. And that's all she beieved she was to anyone. Unloved. Worthless. Nothing. A bug on the windscreen. 

Walking to school today is without a doubt the most painful walk she has ever experienced in her life.

~*~*~*End of Flasback*~*~*~

She remembers that as the last day of school. Ever. The day she finished Year 12. Still, the girls at school found they had nothing better to do than torment her. They had found out about the markings that trailed up her arm. That was two years ago.

She sits in her ensuite, with her head in her hands and tear stains running down her face. If only they knew what they were doing her. Those people at school. They were killing her. And now, she finds that she's another two years older but three more steps behind.

As she looks back upon her years at the hellhole she called school, the tears collect in her eyes, dark with sorrow. There is mascara streaking her face, falling into her hands. She doesn't know why this has all happened to her. She wants someone to rescue her, but she knows that no one will. She pulls everything out of every drawer in the house trying to find what she wanted. She hopes against hope that someone will come to stop her, and give her reason to live. No one does. She doesn't matter to anyone.

But there's him.

The one. The only person to ever know about her problems. He had tried helping her. But she doesn't know what it is to let someone in. She is so used to people treating her badly, and she pushes away the one who would treat her right. It kills him inside. He sees her every day, and it tears his heart apart, piece by piece knowing that she is hurt and doesn't trust that he is different. He wishes that he had been there for her a little more, instead of just watching from the sidelines as she went through an indescribable hell.

He senses something is wrong. Her. He runs to her house faster than lightning. The door is locked. He thrashes and pounds. He kicks and screams. The door finally crashes in. He calls her name. When there is no reply, he tries again. Not a sound. Not a creak of someone walking down the stairs, and not a whisper to show of her presence in the house.

He panicks and runs up the stairs. He doesn't stop until he finds her room. He throws the door open and sees nothing but a bed, closet and.... a closed door. Could she be in there?

Another door locked.

He finds a pin and picks the lock and the door swings open forcefully. What he sees will haunt him in his dreams.

She is lying on the ground, pale and cold. Lifeless. She is dead. There is blood in little pools surrounding her. He bursts into tears and runs to her side, holding her cold, limp body in his arms. He sobs into her hair. How could he let this happen?

Two weeks later, at a funeral service.

The girls from school are blaming themselves. They feel that it was entirely their fault. They don't realise that there was more to it than just school. Her parents are there, wondering why they ever left her to fend for herself in a world like this. Her teachers think they should've perhaps acknowledged her more than they did. But then there was him.

He just wants to know why he wasn't there for her.

The thing about pain is that it demands to be felt.

If only he had stuck around a while longer, that he had stepped in and helped her when she needed someone to be there for the most. No one knows what other reasons there may have been for her to take her life. She took those secrets to the grave, and they are never to be found out. All he wants to know is what he could've done instead of watch.

He is running a hundred miles an hour in the wrong direction.

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