February 14, 2013

*fanfic and diary. 1D not famous*
Jenna has been receiving creepy love letters from a secret admirer, and is determined to figure out who is sending them. Will it be who she thinks, or who she would least expect?

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14. Jan 30 2013

Today was a conference day, so no school! Although I forgot to turn off my alarm last night, and woke up at 6 in the morning. I couldn't fall back asleep after an hour so I decided to make use of my time.

I went to get a quick breakfast and walked down to the basement. Over the summer I spent most of my time there, its where I have my guitar and art studio. I turned up the music and painted nonsense for the rest of the morning. I guess since my music was up loud I didn't hear my mum and dad leave the house. I went upstairs and realized it was 1 in the afternoon and I had the house to myself for quite some hours.

I ran up to my room to get my phone and see who could hang out, but I already had some unread text messages.

 

Dad: hey sweetie. Just wanted to let you know me and mum are going out for dinner tonight with a few friends. I left cash on the counter for you to order anything if you want. Love you

 

Liam: good morning :) x

 

Zayn: Jenna! Wanna chill today? x

 

I figured that since I should get to know Zayn's good side a little better (plus I didn't have much of other things to do) I'd just spend my day with him.

 

J: sure! Where to?

 

I started to text Liam but before I could even start, Zayn was already texting back. A little eager, wouldn't you say?

 

Z: we could go to the fair, then chill back at my place. :)

 

J: sounds great! What time should I meet you there?

 

Z: don't worry I'll pick you up around 2:30. That okay?

 

J: perfect, see you then!

 

Z: great :) x

 

I don't know if I was excited or nervous to hang out with Zayn, it being my first time alone with him since we made up. But I was eager to see what he's really like. As soon as he texted back "great :) x" I went to my music and played We Are Young by Fun. I used to never really listen to the song, but ever since Harry mentioned it I've been addicted to it. I don't know why, it's just always in my head.

My phone was turned up as loud as it could be, and plugged into my speakers. In searched through my clothes for what felt like hours, but eventually picked out my Union Jack Crop-Top, skinny jeans and red Toms.

I put on a decent amount of makeup, well I at least started to but ended up dancing around my room.

I do that a lot.

I didn't feel like doing anything to my hair, it's naturally straight and I very much like it that way. It was a little passed 2 when I finished getting ready, so I just texted Liam until Zayn would be over. For some reason I didn't tell Liam I was hanging out with Zayn today, I don't know why.. I guess I just figured he would be mad or something.When he asked me to hang out today, I told him I had already made plans with Marilyn.

Zayn came over right on time, and we left for the fair. I don't really like talking in the car, it feels too awkward to me. I never know whether to look at the person during the conversation or not and there's no escaping the space. But it felt different with Zayn.

We talked about a lot, I don't even remember all of the topics. I remember us singing along to Maroon 5 'Wake Up Call' on the radio. Zayn kept making overly dramatic faces while singing, which I couldn't help but laugh at a little.

We got to the fair within about 10 minutes, and it was packed. It felt like it took longer to find a parking space than it did to actually get there!

We finally parked and went to pay for our tickets. It took Zayn a while to convince me to let him pay for me, I don't mind paying for myself. I always feel bad when others pay for me, but it's sweet. I eventually gave in.

After going on a few little rides and trying on the silly hats at gift shops, we reached the Vortex, biggest roller coaster in the park. Zayn grabbed my hand and was dragging me towards it, but I was digging my heals into the ground.

"What's wrong?" He said with a disappointed look.

"I'm scared..." I said in the quietest voice possible.

I felt my cheeks burn and looked down to the ground. I cannot explain my embarrassing of admitting that...

Zayn didn't say anything for a minute, then started to laugh and lifted my chin up.

"You'll be fine, I promise I'll keep you safe."

Even though this was the guy that bullied me for 5 years straight (and still won't explain himself), for some reason I believed him when he said he'd keep me safe.

When we were going on the roller coaster, the biggest hill started right away. I hate how slow it goes up the hill, the anxiety it makes build up inside of you. Right as it was reaching the top, my first reaction was to grab Zayn's hand. I didn't realize it for a second, but I quickly let to and apologized. All I thought was how awkward I must've made him feel, now. Great goin', Jenna.

"It's okay, Jenna." Zayn smiled at me and linked his fingers with mine. I we slowly started to go down the hill, and last second Zayn yelled "I'm really sorry Jenna!"

"Sorry? For what?"

"For this."

He took my hand that he was holding and through it up in the air with his, so I couldn't hold on to the handles.

Jackass.

We raced down a few hills and Zayn still didn't let me put my hands down. He was laughing the whole time as to where I felt like I would pass out any second, or at least lose my voice.

When it was over, Zayn rushed me down to the gift shop so we could see our pictures. I have to admit, they were quite hilarious. My long hair flew up looking like Frankenstein, my eyes were squinted shut in complete terror. Zayn's hair stayed perfectly in place somehow, he was laughing in the picture. He kept trying to go buy the picture but I eventually convinced him not to, it was too embarrassing.

We didn't do much after that. It was about 7 and everything was dying down, so we decided to go back to his place.

We sang a little more in the car to locked Out Of Heaven and The Lazy Song by Bruno Mars. Zayn was going on and on about what an amazing singer Bruno is. Which I completely agree with, man's got talent.

We got back to Zayn's, he unlocked the door and let me walk in before him. The lights were mostly off, but I heard someone yelling from the kitchen, making their way into the living room

"Hey lad! Hope you don't mind I n- Jenna?"

I completely froze on the spot.

"Hey... Liam... I- I can explain." I stuttered.

Zayn looked at me in confusion then over at Liam.

"I thought you were with Marilyn?"

"I'm really sorry Liam, I-I lied. I thought you would be mad if I hung out with Zayn and I panicked and..."

Liam started laughing and put is hand on my shoulder.

"Jenna, I'm not mad if you hang out with Zayn, he's my friend. Just don't lie about it, okay?" He said.

It was such a relief knowing he wasn't mad, I honestly thought he would storm out of the room with the wrong idea. Liam walked over to Zayn and patted him on the back.

"I just came to borrow a movie, hope it's okay." He explained. Zayn gave him a smile and they said goodnight.

We watched The Game Plan, since it was the only movie we could agree on. I don't remember how it happened, but I ended up cuddled under his arm with my legs across him on the couch. But I wasn't thinking much of it at the moment.

I'd still been waiting for an answer from him about the bullying, and I figured now was probably the best time to ask since nobody else was around.

"So do I get an answer finally?" I asked looking up at him. I tried to sound as confident as I could, so hopefully he wouldn't ignore me this time. He knew exactly what I was talking about, and let out a big sigh while resting his head back.

"Okay. So 7th grade. I have to admit, I had a huuuge crush on you. I been, like, huge. And like any other boy, I didn't know how to deal with it. They only way I really knew how to get your attention was by teasing. So that's just what I did. But in 9th grade, the crushing turned into jealousy. You started dating other guys and didn't show the least bit of liking towards me. I felt, I don't know... Betrayed? I guess?"

He stopped there, but I kept pushing him to continue.

"What else?" I asked, in almost a whisper. He didn't answer me for a while, but eventually continued.

"I knew that you were close to Louis. Since I was, you know, mad at you... I convinced him to stop talking to you."

"Wait, so you used Louis??" I was a little mad at this point.

"...Yes. But I promise it's not like that anymore. I think of him as a true friend."

I eased up a little after hearing that, I cannot even imagine the anger I would have if he was still using Lou.

"But, when me and Niall became friends he started talking about you, and how much you missed Louis. He wouldn't stop and the guilt finally got to me, so I set you guys up, and you know the rest from there."

 

So there ya have it. Now I finally have my answer. Not exactly what I was expecting it to be, but then again I didn't really have a clue what to expect.

I'm just glad to finally move on from it.

Love,

Jenna

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