I'm a mess, help recovery guide

his is a guide which were writing to explain the background of things in life and advice on how to deal with that.

Suggest chapter to us if you need help with anything :)


7. Expericences with boyfriends.


Like I said at fourteen, life seemed to lighten up. I met a guy who was perfect called 'Steve'. He was sweet, funny and good looking. We talked everyday and when we got together, he was great. We spent everyday together and we lost our virginity together. Everything was perfect. Until we had been together of a year. He got very violent suddenly. If I stepped wrong, he'd get mad. If I didn't want to do something, he got mad. Whatever I did, he got mad. Perfect 'Steve' turned into Violent 'Steve'. Once again my life turned into a hell. Even thought he was the way he was no matter what someone said or how badly he had hurt me, I couldn't leave him. There was just a voice in my head telling me, 'He will change', 'He loves you really', This went on for roughly a year, until I told a friend. She told others and it spread round the school like wildfire, next thing I knew, I was the laughing stock of my year, again. No one believed me and 'Steve' ended it too.


The Escapist

I have a great choice of bad boyfriends, but I'll talk about two bad relationships I've had to shorten your time.

1) One in particular was called 'Carlton'. He was my first boyfriend, first love and had been my best friend for five years before our relationship. The perfect storybook couple with a twist, it was long distant. I was insanly crazy about 'Carlton', but he was very insecure and he trusted no one. He started an argument over anything, and soon enough we were arguing day in day out. He hated all my friends and I even lost friends because he wouldn't let me out the house, and I know what you're thinking, 'He lived far away, why didn't you just go out?' He called me. Every hour. Just to check up on me. At one point he thought I was cheating on him with my friend, WHO WAS A GIRL, and I'm straight! After two years of this, it ended. I was so heartbroken I could barely move for three months. But I got over it, obviously.


2) I thought I should tell this story of the failure of a relationship because it shows that even girls can be massive knobs.

I was on a re-bound after my relationship of nine months so my friend took me out to town to meet new people and she wanted to met a guy she liked. So I was out and I met 'Harry'. We got on well and he gave me his number. I was talking to him and we got on better than we ever had with someone we'd just met before. We planned to meet up again. I decided to keep it to myself that I was meant to be getting back with my ex until I got a text from 'Harry' saying, 'I really like you Becca'. I knew that I had to tell him what was actually going on. He wasn't mad, he was just like, 'Okay, still meeting though right?' And things carried on as if I hadn't said anything. (Awkwardly enough, 'Harry' wanted to lose his virginity to me.) Two weeks later I decided to go for 'Harry' instead of my ex, even though I knew I wasn't yet over my ex, as I felt there was no point holding on to a broken love affair. I was with him for two weeks before I broke it off. I stopped being with 'Harry' after my ex had called me in tears telling me, 'I love you still, I've made a terrible mistake'. Stupidly I went for my ex for reasons I still don't know, however after two days I missed 'Harry' so badly that a friend of mine told him and we ended up back together. I was happy and over my ex. We stayed together until just before my holiday. The day before we jetted off I was packing my bags, my bloody ex showed up and I answered the door. He kissed me right on the doorstep. I couldn't tell 'Harry' what had happened as I knew if I had it would've ended up him taking me back but not trusting me or he would've ended it, so I ended it. 

I did tell 'Harry' what had happened a few weeks later, and since then we have been at logger heads. He is yet to forgive me and I don't blame him. 

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