Fangirl: The Story Of After

Dies from fangirling and can't be brought back, even after the struggles of the Spirits.


16. Temporary Peace

I guess I had fallen asleep because I woke up on Liam's stiff chest, his masculine arms wrapped around my smaller waist. It was like he thought I was his teddy bear or something.

However, I never understood if this was a brother-sister relationship or if it was love-love relationship. I always loved him, I just don't know if it was sibling love or that I want him. Danielle was his first though, his first kiss, first love. Liam was my first, my first kiss, my first love. I've never had my first kiss in reality though. Only yesterday when the Spirit caught us kissing. Sure Liam would give me little pecks on the cheek or forehead like all those other times, but they didn't have the sparks and romance the one from yesterday had.

I closed my eyes and thought. What if I surrendered now and pushed myself down into the River of Blood? What would happen to Liam? What happens after Liam's out of chances? What will happen when I do find out the secret of the Clouds?... The biggest thought, if Liam isn't human, nor ghost, than what is he?

I lay there with Liam, feeling his breathing. Feeling his heart beat, one beat after another. His heart, giving off a rhythmic beat. I couldn't bear the thought of Liam not with me. If he dies for real, and I get sent to the River of Blood, what would happen? Liam and I had to be together no matter what. The longest time he was away was that year when I was here, and he was still on Earth. Not even when he was on tour would he be away for that long. When he would tour America, I would go with the band. When he was in the England area, he would sneak off to my place and we would have one of our traditions, whether it was singing on the porch, babysitting my little sister while baking cookies, or simply having a movie night. The both of us, practically unseperatable.

In the time I was here without Liam, back on Earth, he wasn't even able to look at Louis or walk onto the porch without breaking into tears. He began neglecting Danielle, which was the reason why they delayed the wedding. He couldn't listen to the song Save You Tonight knowing that I helped write it. The only thing he didn't know was that I wrote it about him.

Him dating Danielle had killed me on the inside. I found every way possible to let out my emotions, songs and singing, art, dance,  planting, paying attention in school, writing, playing many, many instruments, nothing worked though. The only thing that ever broke off the pain were the times when we hung out and Danielle would never call or text him. I loved Danielle like a sister, but she always saw me as a threat. There were times where Liam wouldn't acknowledge me on purpose, but then make up for it without her knowing. Like I mentioned earlier, Daniella had forced the secrets of me out of Liam, hoping and knowing that I would be pissed. She just didn't realize everything would end up like that. I wouldn't exactly blame her for my death because as we should all know by now, I'm not dead.

The Spirits have a sort of mix to the story. They said that if Liam hadn't backed his car into me and 'killed' me, the Reaper wouldn't have had an excuse to bring me here. They also mentioned something about me being wise for my gentle age and always figure a way to get what I want. Apperently, the sensed that I wanted Liam, and that's why they brought him up here. Their story of only one mortal being allowed in the Clouds. That statement hit me hard.

Liam, I remembered. The Spirits stated that tears erase memory and that's exactly what happend. The suffocation from Liam squeezing me too tight regained my memory of that moment. The moment when the Spirits said Liam was a demi-god. Gods and their children are undestructable though so how come the Spirits could do all that to him?

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