Fangirl: The Story Of After

Dies from fangirling and can't be brought back, even after the struggles of the Spirits.

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3. Before

Before I died, there was so much drama going on. My phone now remains at the spot where I was hit. Never run over or touched. It was in perfect condition. I still remember the last message I entered though.

 

              'This is the place where I can say anything. Anything. This is what I have to say...I'm in middle school. Of course, it's filled with problems. This situation, as usual, relates to a guy. The problem is, I can't tell anyone. Or at least my 'friends'. Even though I trust him the most, I can't tell him. What is this I can't tell? It's that I think I love him. No, I'm not in love with him, but I just love him. I don't think he secretly feels this way, or feels this way at all about me. Another reason why I can't tell him. I spend my entire school day with him. In class, in the halls, I've even left my former so called friends to be with him always now. Why though? Cause these 'friends' are crazy and I know they hate me. They only want me as a friend to treat me like a slave, an assistant. They wanted my friendship early on, but now they just want my free labor. Only he knows. Only he can read my emotions. He is the only one I can trust. Telling him all my secrets. They think I work for them. In reality, I'm not, I'm working with him. I sit quietly with them, finding out their weaknesses and secrets. Then I tell him everything. Through text, through conversation. I know he has a secret though. It has something to do with our friendship. Either he's my friend for the information, or to get attention from his lover. Or maybe he actually wants to be my friend. I haven't discovered this yet, but I'm not going to unless he finds out. That would be dangerous. I think this because he seems annoyed at me. He tends to want to flee the area when I'm around, but my fellow allies won't let him. I'm holding him back. I get jealous of her, but don't show it. I tell them we're more like siblings rather than a couple. I hide it all. We are just friends. No one believes me when I say this. The one that really shouldn't believe though is him. Yet he chooses to believe me anyway because he trust me. He's the only one I trust, but it may only be my love for him reacting."

 

                 I know, long message. I never sent it though. It was just one of those things I needed to get out and my phone was the perfect person for me to express it to. Yes, I said 'person'. According to the spirits, everything has a soul, and everything that has a soul is human. This was just the start to every other weird thing.

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