Fangirl: The Story Of After

Dies from fangirling and can't be brought back, even after the struggles of the Spirits.

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14. Back to the Past

"Liam, love, please don't cry." I came up to his side, hand on his back. I quietly hummed the tune of 'Loved You First'. It calmed him down every time. "Liam, why are you crying?"

He wiped the last of his tears....but then I realized... Liam was crying..... only mortals cried. No ghost had heard tears before I came along...so unless my tears are contagious... something is up.

"Sorry love, it's just that, I've waited all this time to be with you and now..."

"We have to kill Danielle or get her to throw away your engagement ring and her 'love' for you."

It's like the Spirits want me dead. Like they don't want me to figure out the secrets of Clouds. One mission after another... I'd rather be sent down the River of Blood.

"Kill? Charlotte, don't you think that's a bit extreme?" I sat there, thinking. Not replying, not saying a word. I just needed to think. Liam took that as a sign for something, so he went into his room. My mind was driving me insane. It was an intolerable beat, pounding against my wounded skull. It was like the blood that was suppose to flow to my brain had turned into the water of a cold winter day after a blizzard. Nothing was normal. I should be down on Earth right now, sitting on my porch with Liam. Playing our guitars and singing songs by Jason Mraz or Maroon 5 and on the occasion Justin Bieber. Sometimes, it will only be him playing and singing One Direction songs while I'm in my own little world. It was always a tradition of ours to get together on Mondays and just hang out like that when he wasn't on a date night with Danielle. We would just sit in mine or his back yard, just relaxing and talking about crazy things that happend. This was why Mondays were always my favorite day. Time with the person who understood me completely and always knew what to do. After the engagement though, Danielle would make everyday a date night. Cause of Danielle, the two of us grew apart. I guess Liam was more of a venting buddy. When I was with Liam, the world rotated perfectly. Without him, I kept everything to myself and I guess all the fears and depression I kept in led me to more fangirling which in the end... you know what happend.

I guess all I wanted was us. I never really saw an us though. When I was 10, he was 16. When I was 5, he was 11, so on and so forth. It was just the fact I could tell him everything that got me attracted to him. I could tell him anything at anytime. I was his little buddy. Even though I hate his sister, I have to thank her. If I had never met her, Liam and I wouldn't have been best friends. Me without Liam was like a book without its pages.

None of this could explain why Liam could do the things I could though... I mean as a ghost. Is Liam even a ghost really? I've studied all the other ghost, and Liam is more mortal than anything else around here. None of the others were aloud to hear music, they couldn't feel emotions such as pain, guilt and they couldn't lie either. Liam contained all those factors, just like myself. Clearly, nothing made sense and I'm certainly not going to the Spirits this time. I guess the secrets will just have to wait.

Ok, thinking time over. I grabbed my music player and One Direction album out of the ghost lounge and slouched myself to my door. I opened the door with my elbow, dropped all my things on the ground and flopped onto my bed. I hid under the covers, thinking more about the topic with the tune of Truly, Madly, Deeply playing un my head as the icy cold blood flew to my brain and back down to my curled up toes. I needed a sign. A clue. Something to get me out of this mess.

I want to go and hide in my covers for another month. Nothing in the ghost world was for me. It was as dramatic as a high school lunch room and I was sick of it. I want to go back down to Earth. I want to go back to fangirling with my twitter besties and so called friends. I want to hear the laughter of my little sisters. I want to hear my older brother sing to me at night when I was feeling down. I wanted to see my mom, my dad. I missed everyone even though they don't seem to remember me. I'm just a memory to them now. It's too painful to think back at the memories, but why me? I was an average 13 year old. I played some sorts, I was included in drama, I was forced to go to school, I loved music and all the other crappy stuff us 13 year olds had to go through. Why me? Why did I have to be sent here? Out of the millions of teens... I didn't have to be here right now. I turned over in my bed, now facing the never ending ceiling that lie upon me. As I slowly tried to go into a long slumber, I heard a knocking to 'One Thing'. Liam of course.

"Love, are you alright in there?" At this point, I chose not to answer. I was sick of it all. I would lay there, leaving him waiting. I curse the fact that I can't kill myself here cause of the dead people here already. According to the Spirits, if I kill myself, some of the dead would fight for my living body. It's probably why the Spirit hadn't told me I was human until now.

I'm guessing it's been about 11 minutes in human time since I heard Liam. He was still outside though. I can hear his heavy breathing and the light strumming of his mahogany guitar and the steel strings on it. It was an exact replica of the one I got him on his 16th birthday. After 3 years and a death, he still had it. The guitar is what you can kinda say brought us closer during the time Danielle was in the way. I regret being mad though. He told Danielle everything, but I should've understood he was being the Liam that hated saying no to people.

When I thought I was finally alone, my phone buzzed, twice. Two- three messages actually.

'Child, we are giving you two human months two find the secret, or you will be banished along with your Liam friend.' The Spirits. The Spirits. The Spirits. The torture will never end.

'I'm not ghost, and I'm not mortal. I need help. ~ Liam'

'Your life is ending, hurry up. You had your chance, now give me mine ~ Anon'

I'm so tired of everything now. I want to fade away. No one wants me to live. Not even when I'm already in the land of the dead. The icy blood inside of me was now the flowing lava of a volcano that hadn't been active in thousands of years. The heat building inside of me. As I walked, I left black foot prints on the ground that would remain permenant. I thought back to the text. No one had my number here except the Spirits. Who would've texted me that creepy message. And when did Liam get a phone? Must have been another reward I guess... and two months?!?! I seriouslly think they want me to die.

Ok then.. off to find Li now... Or not. As I walked out of my cell, I stumbled to the ground. How cute, Liam was asleep. I slightly kicked his leg to get him to wake up.

"LIAM!! WAKE UP!!"

Startled, his eyes opened and he jumped from the ground, holding tightly onto the guitar. This boy is just too cute, like omg....

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