Celestine - A Niall Horan Fan Fiction

She's French, extremely wealthy, down to earth, full of vices but throughout kind and very loving. Will our innocent ole Niall be able to handle her with the fact that she's naturally liberated and sex addict?

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5. Le chapitre quatre ...

They're all violent lads. Except for Niall. He just sits in the corner and does nothing.. - Ed Sheeran

 

Le chapitre quatre ...




I've been awake and thinking as I stare into nothing in particular.. I can't seem to find the answers to some questions that has been running in circles through my mind lately. I, Celestine Monsour is becoming more rebel each day and I can't help but think as to why was this happening to me. I've always been the one who helps other people, especially those who are in need. Particularly, the beggars or those homeless people by the streets. I love helping people. Other people and that's the point right there. I loved helping others but myself.. I can't seem to help myself.. I'm a failure in all nature, I might say. I let loose my body for men, I abuse myself for narcotic kinds of drugs.. I cut myself whenever I'm feeling the worst and.. I must admit that I'm beyond stubborn at times. I always get what I want and now I'm actually starting to think that it's unhealthy.. I should.. change my perspective from now on. I must.

I shifted from bed and sat myself up. I looked down to the stranger who's peacefully sleeping on my sex-used bed. I bit my lip as I try my hardest to hold back the tears that's threatening to escape my tired eyes. I can't help it. I'm a whore.. a slut. Men could have me with just one snap. If anything, I must've caught a disease now because of so much having sex with different guys all the time. Not to mention, we're always unsafe..

I sighed, getting up from bed, letting my feet touch the cold tiled-floor. I took the blanket with me and wrapped it around my naked body. My eyes darted on the sight of where my fishbowl was lying beautifully; there goes my little pets, swimming freely. I wonder what would it be like being a fish..? A fish.. I would love to be one.. so that all I would do is swim and I won't have to worry about anything at all.

I strolled forward to feed my cute fishes. I picked up the glass bottled fish cereal, Niall had for me. I felt a smile forming on my lips at the thought of my young man, Niall. He's such a sweetheart. I'm glad that I met him. He isn't around often but at least he could manage to bring some color to my black and white colored world.

I grabbed a handful of cereal and sprinkled some on the fishbowl's opening. The fishes started to eat and just seeing that made me think of myself being a fish again. I think that would be very lovely.. just swimming around.. floating underwater.. eat when needed.. and with that, I wouldn't have to bother myself for a smoke or what not.

"Pois de senteur? (Sweet pea?)"

I furrowed my brows as I turn around.

"Où sont les toilettes? (Where's the bathroom?)"

The stranger has awaken..

I pointed to the hallway that will lead to the bathroom, "De cette façon. (That way.)"

I watched him leave for the bathroom and then I turned back to my swimming pets.

Minutes later, I heard him talk again.

"Ça a été une bonne soirée pour moi. Rendez-vous autour .. (It's been a fun night for me. See you around..)," I heard him say from behind me then seconds later, I heard the door close and that's when I let my tears fall completely.

I hate my life..

Why must I do this to myself? I'm like an open can of food that's ready to eat. I'm way too easy to have. I'm easy to get. Men doesn't appreciate me. All they want is my fully naked body laid on their beds let alone my bed. No one loved me as me. Ever. No one. I look happy, innit? On the outside, I am. But on the inside, I'm a blur.. I'm a pathetic girl that has no path.. that doesn't have a way in life. I do have the wealth, wonderful parents, beauty and all that but to be honest I'm just a filthy person that doesn't know what she really want in life.

My knees weakened throughout my sobs which had me kneeling down on the ground. My knees met the cold floor with my sweating hand had slipped off the glass bottle of cereal. It clashed with the ground and now it's broken.. just like me. The pieces of its broken glass was scattered on the floor near me. I lifted up both of my hand to bury my face against my palms as I cry through the pain. I'm torn.

Ever since I found out about that horrible news about my health.. I started to live my life to the fullest. I have no time to waist. Not a single minute should be spend into nothing but happiness.

I gathered my legs close to my body as I wrap my arms around them. I moved my body up and down in a loop. My sobs slowly died down and then suddenly, I just found myself staring at the ground. I'm so tired to cry.. I'm running out of tears.

Sniffing, I stood up from the ground and walked towards my drawers. I pulled the bottom drawer open and my eyes landed on the sight of a packet of little killers. I took it with me and then I went out my balcony. I pulled one stick out and placed it in between my lips. I took out my Zippo on the packet and lit up my cigarette. I puffed once and inhaled the good; then I exhaled the used.

I clutched the blanket over my chest as I feel the wind breeze fanning all over me. I felt so numb all of a sudden. I'm a wreck.

I puffed once more and this time I inhaled all the bad stuff which caused me to choke and cough.

I dropped the killer stick from my hand and watched it land on the ground. Without thinking, I dared to kill its fire by my bare foot which caused me to wince in pain. I forgot that I'm just on my bare feet. I bent my legs and struggled on looking at my burnt sole. I like it actually.. it just reminded me that I'm still alive. I must be crazy..

I turned my head back to the broken glass on the floor and it had me the most wonderful idea.

I trudged inside from the balcony to stop short where my stupidity was lying. I roamed my eyes at the sight before me in search of the sharpest looking one. My eyes then darted to the largest one and so I bent down to pick it up. I walked to my bed and lay there. I don't care anymore. I will end it now. All the sorrow and pain I am experiencing throughout my life. I am finally ending it.

I reached the side of my nightstand and saw my phone. Niall's innocent face suddenly popped inside my head. I picked my phone up cause I thought I should tell him what kind of dress I would like to wear in my funeral and oh, I wanted to be cremated instead of being buried six feet under. That would be gross. I would like my ashes be thrown by the air to the waters. I dialed Niall's number and then I pressed the phone close to my ear, I waited for him to answer.

After multiple rings, my call directed on his voice mail. I frowned but just shrugged it off. So I let everything I want to tell him have recorded then I hung up.

As I sprawl on my bed with the blank look across my face, I held on tight with the glass piece on my hand which caused a wound to occur; I didn't cringe. I forced a smile instead. I lifted up my shaking hands and braced myself for the one last pain that I will ever experience.

I gripped the glass piece on my hand and now I had some blood dripping down from my palm. I pointed the edge of the broken glass towards my wrist. Cautiously, I put a weight on it. Once I'm satisfied, I slid it down, ripping my skin and there goes my maroon-colored thick blood.. trickling down my wrist, dropping on my bed sheet. I stared at the stained bed sheet and pursed my lips. I felt the pain striking me which caused me to grit my teeth in the process.

My vision was getting blurry.. suddenly, I'm feeling dizzy.. my hand fell down loosely on my bedside and I dropped the glass piece on the ground. My damaged wrist went numb and everything around me suddenly went silent and it seemed as if though, that everything was going in slow motion.

"Désolé, Dieu .. J'ai échoué .. mais .. croyez-moi, je voulais aller là-bas avec vous .. honnête .. Je viens de .. Je ne peux pas le prendre plus. La vie vous a donné est tout simplement trop parfait qu'il fait me fit rien d'autre que la douleur et la misère .. oui, je suppose .. vous allez me haïr forever maintenant, ai-je raison? (Sorry, God.. I failed you.. but.. believe me, I wanted to go up there with you.. honest.. I just.. I can't take it anymore. The life you gave is just too perfect that it actually caused me nothing but pain and misery.. so, I guess.. you're going to hate me forever now, am I correct?)" I managed to let out a soft giggle, "Ça va .. Je peux sentir ma fin maintenant .. monde bonne nuit. Poissons nuit .. (Alright.. I can feel my end now.. good night world. Night fishes..)"

I could still feel my blood dripping out from my wrist..

My eyelids felt heavy on me and soon everything went black.

* * *

Beeping noise..?

Why am I hearing beeping sounds despite the fact that I'm dead? Is this what hell sounded like? It's.. silent in here and it sure isn't hot in here, like people usually tell about what hell will make you feel. They said that it would be noisy in here and it must be really warm and hot because everything should be surrounded by smoking hot fire. But why am I shivering? And.. why do I feel like I'm laid in a soft and cozy bed..?

"Suis-je déjà en enfer? (Am I already in hell?)" I croaked. Oh right.. why am I croaking? Did I become a demon now? Well, I didn't know that demon tend to sound like this.. I expected them to sound more awful than this.

"Celestine? Are you awake? Talk to me!"

Hey.. Someone's talking!

"Qui êtes-vous? Pourquoi avez-vous l'air si familier? (Who are you? Why do you sound so familiar?)" I asked.

I felt someone's warm palm clasp their hand in mine; they gave mine a squeeze as if though they were keeping me safe. It felt weird for my liking. Does this demon want me safe and sound? If so, that was sweet of him then..

"Nurse! She's awake! Here!" he called.

Nurse?

Oh dear.. I didn't die after all.


I pried my eyes open to see my mystery rescuer. The blinding bright light met my sight which cause me to irk. I scrunched up my nose in irritation almost immediately. I blinked a few time and that's when my vision slowly went back to normal. I roamed my eyes around and everything was white and one thing is for sure; I'm inside a hospital room. My sight suddenly darted to my hand with a tube stuck to it, and there I noticed that two white complexioned hands were clasping it securely. I looked to whom was owning them pretty hands..

It was Niall's.

I felt a smile tugging on the both corner of my lips, "Niall.. my sweetie..," I managed.

His eyes were sad and his cheeks were stained with dried tears.. I frowned.

"Why, Celestine? Why would you try to kill yourself..?" he asked almost in a hissing tone.

Before I could utter a word, a lady in white trudged hurriedly inside. She went straight to my side, checking my vitals and tubes. Niall hastily stood up from where he was sat which was on my bedside, letting go of my hand which left my skin feeling cold all of a sudden..

The whole while that the nurse was taking care of my stat, I was only locking eyes with Niall.. he's got this worried facial expression that never seemed to leave his face.. it sends a melting sensation to my heart.. also, it pangs me throughout. I've never seen one of my sex buddy worry for me like this before.. all I see with them are smirks, teasing grins, lustful orbs and lip biting but never a worried expression.. only this foreign boy that was standing on the side of my hospital bed wore that facial expression because I almost ended my life. He's totally concerned about me..

Niall just rescued me. He brought me back to life..

"Madame .. le médecin va avoir un entretien avec vous plus tard. Il est heureux de savoir que vous êtes réveillé maintenant. Pour l'instant, je vais laisser ce jeune homme pour s'occuper de vous. J'ai six autres patients de plus de prendre soin de (Ma'am.. the doctor will have a talk with you later on. It's happy to know that you're awake now. For the meantime, I will leave this young man to look after you again. I got six more other patients to take care of)," the nurse said.

I smiled, "Bon .. merci .. (Okay.. thank you..)"

She nodded and left.

I shut my eyes and let out a sigh.

And then there was silence.

"Celestine..," I heard Niall speak softly.

I opened my eyes and looked at him, "Niall.. you're here. Why?"

He moved forward and sat down on the chair beside my bed again. And there goes that concerned look on his face again, "You left me a voice mail, did you forget?"

My lips parted as realization hit me, "I.. I did forget..," I mumbled.

He sighed as he put his hand in mine. He intertwined our fingers then he came to caress my face, "Why did you do it..?" he whispered.

I bit my lip as I try to hold back the tears that's threatening to trickle down my cheeks again, "Niall.. I'm a mess.. I wanted to die.. so I did it. I.. I do it every time, Niall.. but this one is the real deal.. I did it this time because I wanted to end my life completely.."

"B-But.. why..?" he whispered, tightening his grip on my hand.

I swallowed a lump, "Just like I said, Niall.. I'm a mess.. I just felt like vanishing.."

Niall shook his head, "You are not a mess, love.. please don't say that..," he almost sounded like he was pleading.

A tear escaped my right eye. It was a sign of happiness, "Why are you so nice to me, Niall..?" I smiled genuinely.

I saw him bite his lower lip. He shrugged, "I don't know, Celestine.. I just really adore you, I guess. You're a kind-hearted person. I like you. You're innocent yet you're claiming to yourself that you're not.. I find you so interesting and..," he trailed off and man, my heart is melting by his sincere words. He lets out a sigh before continuing, "You're precious to me.. you're not mine yet my heart pounds whenever I'm with you. I thought it was really weird.. this feeling that I'm feeling, I mean. Because I barely know you and--"

I cut him off by grabbing his collar to pull him down and kiss his lips to shut him off. He returned my kiss then we parted. He's got his cheeks tinged with pink, "Thank you so much, Niall. You're the first one to ever care for me like this. You already had my body yet you were thinking that I am precious.."

He licked his lips, making them wet, "Cause you are precious. Never hurt yourself again. Okay..?"

"What if I hurt myself again, what will you do then..?" I teased.

"I will do the same. I'll cut my wrist open," he said sternly.

I pouted, "Okay.."

Niall leaned down and pecked my forehead, "Go and get some rest first, love. I'll head out for some food and I'll buy another fish cereal for your fish. Sleep tight."

I nodded and snuggled with the blanket. Niall made his way towards the door and left. I looked down to my cleaned and gauze-wounded wrist.

Just then a doctor strolled inside the room.

Here it goes.. I'm positive with the fact that he'd be reminding me of something awful again.. my secret are just so not secret whenever it comes to doctors.

Thank God, Niall isn't here to hear this.

* * *

I brought her back here, signed the paper bills in the hospital and kept my mouth shut of not telling her parents about her cutting habits only because she pleaded to me. This girl right here is just so interesting. She still is precious to me despite the fact that she's far away from my ideal girl. She's weird.. liberated and abusive.. and yet here I am, spending time with her. I must admit that she scared the hell out of me on our first encounter. I mean, who does that? She dragged me by my wrist and let me climb inside her car without telling me where she would take me. That nearly blew my mind away. She sure looked so innocent and cute the first time my eyes landed on her that moment she was walking on that certain street where she would go down some strange looking stairs; to go feed the fishes.. But then when she dragged me along to go here on this exact place we are right now--her hotel room--she really caught me off guard. She told me lies that had me agreeing to do stuff I've never done before. Right there and then, I told myself that that would be the last time that I would be communicating with any French around here in Paris cause they might request something like that again, but Celestine.. she's different. There was something about her that melts me on the spot. I am aware that she ain't a virgin no more the moment she lied just to have sex with me yet I still agreed to do it. Because it was her. I would be doing it with her anyway, that's what my heart told me that time.

I can't say that I'm just tempted though..

Because, if it was another girl, I might've turned their requests down. I'm not just a nobody. I'm Niall Horan. People might know and they might gossip about it let alone the media.. they might find out about it, but still.. I agreed to do it with her.. with Celestine. Strange. I must've a soft spot for this lovely girl.

Lovely.. wow, Niall. Just wow.

Dude, I know that she sleep around with multiple men each night.. yet she looked so fresh and lovely to my eyes. Seriously, what's wrong with me?

I blinked as I let out a sigh. I swapped hands to have my chin leaning on my palm. And here I am, staring at her sleeping figure. She looked so peaceful and.. enchanting. I've been using that word ever since I met this girl.

She's just so enchanting, can you blame me?

The room was silent. It's just us two. She's asleep and I'm not even feeling tired. I'm too energized for a late afternoon slumber. I scanned my eyes all over Celestine and soon it landed on her guaze-wrist. My heart sank right away just seeing that. How can someone do such awful stuff to themselves? That must've hurt a lot.. I mean, creating a cut to your wrist by your own will. I could never do that. Not in a million year.

I lifted my hand up and reached Celestine's cheek; her skin was cold. I took the blanket and covered her up with it.

My poor princess.. why would she want to end her almost perfect life? What's her reason? She's rich, jobless, which only meant she don't have to struggle, she's smart and well she's got a pretty face, she could hook any man she'd like to have.. so why would she want to kill herself then? Too many questions.. and yet I can't seem to find the answers and what's even worse was there isn't a single clue for me.

"Niall..?" Celestine moaned.

I leaned close to her, "Princess.. I'm here..," I whispered.

She pried her eyes open then she smiled when she saw me, "You're here. I was just dreaming of you.. you know that?" she groggily said.

I can't help myself but smile seeing that smile on her beautiful face, "Really..? About what?"

She smirked, "If I tell you, I'm gonna have to kill you..," she teased.

I chuckled, "Fine. Don't tell me," I huffed, playfully sticking my tongue out at her.

She giggled. She sat up from bed, "I'm hungry, sweetie.. do we have food?"

That just reminds me. I'm hungry too.

I stood up from my seat, "Come. Let's fill our tummy," I said, grinning at her.

She smiled widely, "Let's call for food! Oh! And I want Dr. Pepper!" she beamed.

 

 

 

A/N: Are you now loving the story? Leave some comments! :) - LOU x

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