Hurt Lovers

After Nicola leaves the hospital she tries to begin a new life and forget the bad memories from her past. When she finds an interesting job as a stylist for a british boy band on the internet she moves from Miami to London and her life changes completely...


2. flashback

I woked up in a small room. The walls were as white as the cover of my bed I layed in. In the corner stood a little table with two chairs around it. There were about two windows on the wall which were covered from a curtain so the room was almost dark but a few rays of the sun fell into the room. For a short moment I asked myself 'Where I am? What am I doing here?' but then it all came back. All the memories hit me like someone punched me in the stomach that I can't breath anymore!


I sat on the sofa and watched X-Factor till I heard the telephone ring. 'Urgh' I groaned and tormented myself from the sofa.'Yeah Nicola Johann here!' Yes you're right Nicola Johann. It's a german name because I was born in Germany but when I was four I moved with my parents to Miami. So I can speak english and german. I'm now 18 for two weeks. I have light brown long hair, blue eyes and almost always a smile on my face. I'm a girl with much humor but I can be sassy and bad if something doesn't happen like I want it or yeah in some other situations. 'Hello Mrs. Johann I'm Dr.Mariana Smith! I'm really sorry to tell you this on the phone and maybe it's better if you take a seat-' she began. 'What?' I asked confused. ' It's about your parents...they had a car accident on th-' 'What?' I asked again. This time my voice was even more like a whisper. Tears began to form in my eyes and one by one ran down my cheeks.My mum and dad went on vacation for a week. They were in Key West and they just were on their way home. I knew it because I spoke with them on the phone just 3 hours before. ' I'm really sorry Mrs. Johann. Your mother died directly when the car crashed into the other one. We couldn't help her. And your father died in the hospital. We did everything we could but in the end it wasn't enaugh. He was too weak because he lost so much blood. I am really sorry.' At this moment I wished I did what the lady said: Take a seat! I lost the floor under my feet and fell. I fell hard on the cold floor crying and screaming. The phone still in my hand. 'Mrs. Johann?' I heard the lady say but I didn't notice anymore. I threw the phone away and rolled up to a ball. The knees were pressed against my chest, my head on them and my arms around my legs. I sat there for about an hour. For me it felt like an hour but I didn't really know how long I actually sat there crying and asking 'Why? Why does this happen to me? Why this bad things always happen to me?' I couldn't take this anymore. I stood up still shaking so my legs hurt as I began to walk. I ran up the stairs directly in the bathroom and slammed the door and looked into the mirror. My eyes were puffy and my face was completely red from all the crying. Under my eyes you could see the leftovers from my black mascara. I looked like a zombie but I didn't care. I opened the cabinet over the washbasin and took out  the razor which laid behind my cosmetic products. I pushed my back against the wall and slowly slipped down to the ground. I put the razor next to me to the floor and ran my hands through my hair. And again I began to cry. ' If everything is so terrible like this why should I live anymore? There are no persons who love me...well there is my best friend Annika which lived in Germany and moved here like me but she's going back to germany tonight so there's no reason to be alive anymore!' I grapped the razor and put it on my wrist. One cut after another retired on my wrist. The tears fell on the cuts and mixed up with the dark red blood. Sometimes I twitched because it hurt a little bit but I did this one time before so it wasn't that painful."Why?" I whispered to myself crying. The blood ran over my wrist and the last thing I saw was the bloody reazor in my hand.

'flashback end'

(A/N) hey guys sorry for any mistakes;)


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