It Hurts To Know.

It hurts to know that you'll never remember something I'll never forget.

Alexandria has never been more excited for anything. Finally after going through so much struggles and pain, she can FINALLY meet her idols. This was the one night she could get away. Away from all the hatred and pain at home. Away from all the abuse and hurt. But what she and her best friend Chloe thought was going to be an average concert- turned into the best night of their lives. What happens after Chloe leaves? Is Chloe really a TRUE friend? Who will Alex chose? And more importantly... who is hurting them? Will someone finally tell her she's worth it, that she's beautiful... and will somebody finally care for her?


2. Why are we...?


I'm broken, do you hear me?

I'm blinded, cause you are everything I see.

~Liam Payne




I felt nervous for some reason tonight. Not like a ‘Hey, I’m going to be performing in front of 20,000 people’ nervous- nervous nervous. Like something was suppose to happen tonight.


I couldn’t shake the feeling. I NEVER got nervous. After all, I’m Harry Styles! GAH! WHY, WHY AM I NERVOUS? Is there something I forgot to do this morning? Something I didn’t remember? Did I call my mom? Yes. Did I remember my passport? Yes. Did I…. oh. Tonight.


Tonight was going to be the night I broke up with Taylor. Even though we were a publicity scandal- I couldn’t be with her anymore. My mates didn’t like her- and neither did I. The other day she called Niall a fat pig! I had used all my strength not to yell back at her. But here’s the thing- the lads didn’t know that it was a publicity scandal. They thought it was real. They thought that I would date a girl that hurts them.


Even Louis- he’s changed so much around me. The other day he thought I wouldn’t make his birthday! I mean, I wouldn’t miss it for the world! He’s practically my brother- they all are.


            But- if I had to break up with Taylor, it had to be for another BIG reason. Management would KILL me if it was for no reason. I needed something, or someone to convince me tonight. To tell me that this was all wrong.





I felt so nervous tonight. My nerves were on edge, and I felt like I was going to burst any moment. Why was I feeling this way? I had preformed so much that it was practically normal for me! I walked past my ‘mini kitchen’ in my dressing room, but something fell on my leg. Was…was that a spoon? WHY IS THERE A SPOON IN MY ROOM? MANGEMENT SPECIFICALLY REQUESTED NO SPOONS IN MY ROOM! I started backing away as soon as I saw it. Spoon’s terrified me- for some reason. Round, shiny… I don’t know. GAHHHH!


“ZAYN! ZAYN PLEASEEEE PLEASEE ZAYN!” I started franticly yelling. I could hear his door slam shut as he ran towards my change room. He opened my door and looked at the ground panting.


“Oh.” I saw sympathy in his eyes, he knew how afraid I was. I could feel my hands already shaking. He walked over and threw the spoon in the garbage. I started looking at the ground as I felt a warm body sit beside me.


“You okay lad?” he quietly whispered. I nodded.


“Yeah, just really nervous.” I paused. “For some reason, all day I have felt nervous. I can’t shake the feeling, that my nerves are on edge.” Zayn looked up at me and put his arm around my shoulder. For some reason his eyes got wide.


“It’s okay mate, probably just pre-show jitters.”



“Yeah, I guess.” I looked in his eyes. “Thanks Zayn.”








I quickly put on my shirt. It was almost time for the concert, and I needed at least one hour to do my hair. I went over and picked up my comb.


“ZAYN! ZAYN PLEASEEEE PLEASEE ZAYN!” I heard Liam yelling. I ran out the door and slammed it shut, trying to be as fast as possible. What was it this time? Probably a spoon. I could see him already shaking, so I picked up the spoon and threw it in the garbage. I walked over and sat beside him.


“You okay lad?”


“Yeah, just really nervous.” He paused. “For some reason, all day I have felt nervous. I can’t shake the feeling, that my nerves are on edge.” I looked up to him and put my arm around his shoulder. But suddenly my eyes got wide.


Was he nervous too? All day I had been trying so hard to occupy myself, so I don’t think about how nervous I was. At one point I literally bounced out of my seat! I had not brought one of my mirrors, so I guess that was the reason why. But I knew it wasn’t. I didn’t want to tell Liam I felt that way too- he had just seen a spoon; I don’t want to worry him anymore.


“It’s okay mate, probably just pre-show jitters.” I calmly told him.



“Yeah, I guess.” He looked in my eyes. “Thanks Zayn.”








 I grabbed my stripped shirt off the floor. I was really on edge today. I wasn’t my usual self. I shrugged; Probably because Eleanor and I had recently broken up. Tears welled up in my eyes. It hurt so much thinking about her- how could she cheat on me?? I loved her, cared for her so much. What did I ever do wrong! I punched the wall. God, pain felt so good now.


“MATE, YOU OKAY? Yelled an Irish accent. I wiped my tears off my hand. 


“YAH LAD! I JUST DROPPED A CARROT!” I lied. Lied to my best mate. I could her him chuckling. I heard the ring tone of my phone and picked it up.





“Hullo Louis, it’s Paul.”



“PAUL! YAY! HIIIII!” I tried to have as much energy in my voice as I could- just like me, Paul could ALWAYS tell when something was wrong. He wasn’t just a bodyguard, he was also like another dad to us. I think I used too much energy.



“MATE, calm down you’re going to make me deaf!” I could hear him being a bit cautious.



“Sorry!” I whispered.



“Anyways, come down to my room, I need to give you the backstage passes!”



“OH YAY!” I yelled. “Oh sorry. I mean, oh yay!” I whispered. “It’s really my turn to bring two girls backstage this time?” Maybe I could get over Eleanor. Probably not.



“Yes Louis. Come down to get your passes okay? But in ten minutes! I have to lead some girls in first.”



“OKAY! SEE YOUUUUU!!! BYEEEEE.” This time- I was really excited.






Why was I so nervous? I couldn’t keep still; I just kept walking back and forth between my changing room. I had this feeling inside me, like something big was going to happen. Something really big. I walked over to the fridge to get some food. I was probably just hungry; after all, it had been an hour since I ate. I opened the fridge to get some Nandos, but remembered I had finished the last one in the morning.


I walked over to the wall where it had our concert poster there. I couldn’t believe how far we had gotten- and who we were at the XFactor, and who we are now. Imagine the feeling of MILLIONS of people loving you, people that you don’t even know! Wow. I finally smiled to myself. When I felt weird, down, anything, I could just think about my fans and become happy.


I could have never thought of a certain face- there was no ‘love of my life’ at the moment. All the boys have had their fare share of girls- but I’m waiting for that one special girl to come along. My princess- my world. Was this the reason why I was so nervous? Because she… she might be here tonight?


Oh god, I need to wear something good looking, wait no. If she is really my princess, she is going to accept me for who I am. Niall for Niall. Take it or leave it. I heard a bang against the other side of my wall.


“MATE, YOU OKAY?” I yelled.


“YEAH LAD!” Louis paused. “I JUST DROPPED A CARROT!” I started chuckling.


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