It Hurts To Know.

It hurts to know that you'll never remember something I'll never forget.

Alexandria has never been more excited for anything. Finally after going through so much struggles and pain, she can FINALLY meet her idols. This was the one night she could get away. Away from all the hatred and pain at home. Away from all the abuse and hurt. But what she and her best friend Chloe thought was going to be an average concert- turned into the best night of their lives. What happens after Chloe leaves? Is Chloe really a TRUE friend? Who will Alex chose? And more importantly... who is hurting them? Will someone finally tell her she's worth it, that she's beautiful... and will somebody finally care for her?


12. Its only just started.


“Do you think… do you think that I’ll find someone to fall in love with… get a happy ending?” Louis' voice was quivering.


“Yes Lou… you will.”


“Do you ever think… that maybe, just maybe, that person may be you?”




I woke up to someone lightly snoring in my ear. I turned around and saw who it was- Louis. My body tensed as I remembered what happened last night- WOW. I had gone from dreaming about meeting One Direction, to having two of them fall in love with me; well- atleast one of them. I watched as Louis’ chest rose and fell peacefully. He looked like an angel sleeping, like- suddenly his eyebrows frowned and his breathing turned violent and fast. He had a tear rolling down his cheek, and kept muttering words-


“No…Ale…not you too…I lo…please don’t g…what happened to forev…” what was he saying? Was he having a nightmare? I didn’t know what to do- so I just gently started stroking his cheek. His frown turned into a smile, and his breathing back to normal.

He started muttering different words though...”I thought I lost yo…please don’t ever do th…” I started getting confused- he had a smile on his face- yet tears were still rolling down his cheek. I couldn’t see him cry- it broke my heart, so I decided to wake him up.


“Louis, babe?” I started going through his hair gently, but it seemed like he wouldn’t wake up. I leaned forward and started pecking his face gently. First, his forehead, cheek- and then the other one. I went to kiss his nose- but his face moved as his eyes opened, and he diverted the kiss to on his lips. I pecked his lips- and then pulled away.


“I could get used to waking up like this.” he smiled. I winked, and then hit him in the face with a pillow while letting out a giggle. “OH HAYL NAW!” he used his best American accent. “This is so on.” I let out a tiny scream and started running around his HUGE room- trying to get out of his grip, while yelling.


“I’M TOOOOOO YOUNG TO DIEEEEEE!” I finally ran to a corner and realized I had nowhere else to go. He came closer and closer, but I finally saw an escape path through the right if I jumped on the bed. He got closer, opening the space more, and finally when it was big enough, I ran and jumped-

to be caught by the waist. “NOOOOO!!!” I yelled dramatically.


“BAHAHAHAHAH” he laughed like a madman; “Did you think you could get away from THE Louis the Tommo Tomlinson?”


“Maybe…” He started leaning in for a kiss, but as soon as his hands were looser on my waist, I took the opportunity to run and jump onto the bed. He ran as fast as you could in a bedroom- and jumped beside me, just laying there.


“Lets play twenty questions.” he finally broke the silence.


“Okay!” I smiled, “me first!”


“Wait!” he yelled. “We have to pretend that we know nothing about eachother.” I laughed-


“meaning the fact that ME not knowing anything about YOU?” he blushed.


“Umm, yah?”


“Mkay.” I rubbed my hand on my chin, indicating that I was thinking. “Where are you from?”




“Favourite colour?”




“Favourite sibling? If you have any.” I winked.


“Lottie. Err… not to be mean to the others” he mumbled.


“Favourite sport?”




“Favourite food?”




“Last time you cried?”


“Last night.” he looked down.


“Favourite boy in the band?” he gasped.


“How do you know we are in a band?” he pointed at me. “We’re strangers!” he gasped again. “HAVE YOU BEEN STALKING ME??”


“Oh right…” I laughed. “Are you in a band?”


“Yes,” he smiled.


“Who is in the band?”


“Harry Styles, Liam Payne, Zayn Malik, Me- Louis Tomlinson, and Niall Horan.” Niall. Oh my god I forgot about Niall… what happened after I left… what did he do?


“Your turn!” I tried not to think about it.


“Okay.” He paused. “Hmm… birthday?”


“November 18th”


“How old are you? I’m 19 by the way.” he winked.


“I turned 17 in November.”


“Favourite colour?”


“Gold… or black.”


“Favourite sport?”


“Soccer or Basketball.”


“Favourite food?”


“Burgers and fries.”


“Pet peeve?”


“Metal on metal”


“Favourite boy in one direction?”


“Well, they’re all nice… but one of them is just amazing.” He smiled at me.


“Most romantic thing a guy has ever done for you?” he asked. I looked down- I was unsure how to answer this question.


“I got a piggyback ride in grade two?” I was unsure of what to say. He looked into my eyes.


“Last question.” he paused. “And you have to be completely honest with Me.” he held my hands as if they meant the world to him. I nodded.


“Why wouldn’t I be?” I looked down, what was so important about this question?


“Alex… Alexandria- will you go out with me?” he looked into my eyes- they were watery. “Will you be my girlfriend? The person I can hold… kiss… touch… talk to everyday? Be the person I can give the key of my heart to? Be my other half. Be the thing that I will miss when I’m away even a second.” He looked down and took a deep breath in. His breath shook- and a tear rolled down his cheek. “I want to be able to show the world… tell them that you’re mine. I want to be the one to protect you. I want to look at YOU all day. I want YOU to be the one I wake up beside. Only you.” I looked down- and then into his eyes.


“Am I worth it?”


“Worth what?” he asked as if I was crazy.


“Worth fighting with your mates. Worth standing up for- am I worth caring for… am I really worth it?” A tear now rolled down my cheek. “Am I worth being thought of as Louis Tomlinson’s girlfriend?” He started laughing- “What so funny?” I asked.


“Worth it? Alexandria, you’re worth it… and so much more. I would give my life for you- and you ARE worth being called my girlfriend. I WANT you to be called my girlfriend. I want them to think of me- and then you Alex.”






“Yes stupid, I’ll be your girlfriend.” He rushed over and picked me up. He started spinning me- laughing as if I was the best thing in the world. “On two conditions.”


“What?” he asked.


“I get to tell the boys.” I remarked- I wanted to be the one to explain to them.




“AND- you have to tell the WORLD you love cheese.”  He smiled.


“Okay, infact I’ll do it now.” He leaned down by my ear. “I love cheese.”


“I said the world, not me dummy!”


“Alex, you are my world.”






“C’mon I’m hungry!” I yelled, “remember… no funny business.” He sighed.


“Fine. But if they try anything on you…”


“Yeah yeah… big mucho Louis’ gonna step in.” I smirked.


“YOU DEFY MY GREAT POWERRSSS!” He started tickling me- he found out it was my secret during twenty questions. I started running into the kitchen as Louis ran after me. I ran over to Zayn and hid behind him.


“Halllllp!” I whispered. Zayn walked up to Louis.


“Ay bro, you tryin to hurt this lady?” I giggled at his attempt at our accent.


“She defied my man- muchoness!” Louis protested.


“Ooooooooooooooooh.” Zayn stepped back. “Well, go after her.”


“ZAYNNN!” I protested. He turned around-


“Never defy a mans muchoness!”


“But that’s not even a word!” I said.


“WELL IT IS NOW!!!” Louis yelled while running towards me. He started tickling me so much that I literally fell to the floor- out of breath.


“L…Louis st…stop! I…I- Y…YOU WI…N!” He stepped back.


“I always do love,” he winked.


“Boys.” I muttered. Harry had decided to appear at this moment.


“What going on?”


“Nothing,” I giggled. Harry had turned to the boys now.


“Guys, you two, Liam and Niall need to head to a recording session.”


“Why not you too?” Niall had asked- startling me. I looked over and locked eyes with him. He looked at me- a flash of hurt went through his face as he looked away from me. My heart broke… wh… NO. I am not getting hurt again. I have Louis- the most amazing boyfriend I could ever ask for. I put on a huge smile on my face.


“Well, management said that they accidently over-wrote the…” I zoned out and thought about what I would do today. As soon as they looked over at me- an idea struck at me.




“Yes love?”


“Can we go to wonderland?” I looked over at Louis, “Maybe you guys can join us after?”


“Whats Wonderland?” Liam had asked.


“Hi Li-Li!”


“Hello Love.”


“Well, Wonderland is the biggest amusement park in Canada.”


“Sure!” Harry seemed scared yet excited.


“Maybe you can get over your fear of rollercoasters.” Niall muttered. What was his effing deal? “Anyways, I’m really tired today, after recording I’m coming back here.” He snapped back.


“Niall whats your f***ing deal?” I snapped back- I was so done with this.


“Maybe it’s because you go ahead to kiss AND sleep with someone else right after WE kissed.” He yelled- hurt and pain showing through his eyes.


“Y…you guys kissed?” Liam whispered. I ignored him- I needed to deal with Niall.


“YOU ARE SO UNBELIEVEABLE!” I yelled- but I slowly lowering my voice. “I. Did. Not. Sleep. With. Louis.” I walked up to him- and jabbed him in the chest with my finger. “Even if I f***ing did, it is NONE of your business.” Anger showed through my voice- but I felt hurt inside; after him knowing what I have gone through- he thinks I would have slept with someone so easily? Hell no. I’m saving myself for marriage- everyone should. I started pushing him back with my finger. “I’m not a hooker- I do NOT go around sleeping with people. I can kiss WHOMEVER I want- and whenever I want. You. Are. Not. My. Mom.” I had to tell him now. “Besides, apparently I can’t kiss my own BOYFRIEND now?”





I knew how much I was hurting her- but I was so pissed. She kissed me- and should have been only ME. How could she go and kiss Louis right after she kissed me? Did I do something wrong?


“I’m not a hooker- I do NOT go around sleeping with people. I can kiss WHOMEVER I want- and whenever I want. You. Are. Not. My. Mom. Besides, apparently I can’t kiss my own BOYFRIEND now?” My heart broke into a MILLION pieces- and it hurt so much.


“Y…you and Lou…Louis are-“


“Dating? Yes.” I couldn’t take this anymore- it couldn’t be true. I walked away and through the door. I sent Zayn a text.


NiallHoran: i cant take it pls meet me at studio.


ZaynMalik: ok bro, how are u feeling?


NiallHoran: i dont want 2 talk about it. i will talk to u at studio. bye.


ZaynMalik: :/ k. bye. 


As I got to the studio- I immediately sat down and started writing a new song. I had so much jumbled feelings right now- I just want to pour them out. I started strumming on my guitar while thinking of words- words to perfectly describe how I’m feeling.

‘Everybody’s laughing in my mind. Rumors spreading about this other guy. Do you do what you did when you were with me? Does he love you the way that I can? You forget all the plans that you made with me; cause baby I didn’t. That should be me holding your hand- that should be me making you laugh. That should be me, this is so sad. That should be me- that should be me. That should be me, feeling your kiss, that should be me, buying you gifts. This is so wrong, I cant go on, till you believe, that that should be me. That should be me. You said you needed a little time for my mistakes. Its funny how you used that time to have me replaced. Did you think that I wouldn’t see you out at the movies what your doing to me, your taking it weeks to go, now if your trying to break my heart, its working cause you know…’ I put down my pencil- my arm hurt so much- but not as much as my heart.


“That was beautiful.” I turned around to see Chloe standing there.


“Hi Chloe- thanks.”


“I know you love her.”


“N…no I don’t.”


“You do.” She paused. “And she loves you too Niall. You were always the one she wanted forever with.”


“” I quivered- but she ignored me.


“And I have a plan. A plan to break them both up- we both win.” I looked at her. Wasn’t she Alex’s friend? “I win Louis, and you her.”


“But… shes your friend.”


“Are you in OR NOT.” I hesitated-



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