It Hurts To Know.

It hurts to know that you'll never remember something I'll never forget.

Alexandria has never been more excited for anything. Finally after going through so much struggles and pain, she can FINALLY meet her idols. This was the one night she could get away. Away from all the hatred and pain at home. Away from all the abuse and hurt. But what she and her best friend Chloe thought was going to be an average concert- turned into the best night of their lives. What happens after Chloe leaves? Is Chloe really a TRUE friend? Who will Alex chose? And more importantly... who is hurting them? Will someone finally tell her she's worth it, that she's beautiful... and will somebody finally care for her?


28. He's Broken



I looked towards Alexandria as we were walking. Her hair was shining in the sunlight, making it seam health, smooth. I leaned over and placed a light kiss on her head, making her smile.


“You know you’re beautiful, right?”


“Thank you Niall.” She was blushing now. I placed my hand around her waist, it fit perfectly around it. I saw as a group of girls ran towards us, and they were all wearing One Direction shirts. One of the shirts had Zayn on it; one had me- I chuckled and the others with various words.


“OH MY GOD! ARE YOU NIALL HORAN!?” I smiled, I was happy to spend some time with the fans.


“The one and only.” I smiled, and sent a wink. The brunette girl looked towards Alex, and smiled.


“AND… YOU’RE ALEX!!!!” the girl jumped in the air and hugged Alex; leaving Alex shocked. She stood there, and then leaned into the hug. After signing a few posters and taking pictures, we continued walking. I felt Alexandria’s hand brushing against mine, and it was killing me inside. I knew the paparazzi would see, but I don’t really care. I looked towards her, and I saw that she was looking down at our hands. The sparks flew with every step, and I couldn’t stand it. As I moved to grab her hand, I felt her hand move towards mine, and she intertwined our fingers. She looked up and smiled at me.


“Do you feel it?” I asked. She nodded.


“The sparks? Yeah.” She looked down. “Is it okay to hold your hand? I mean you might not-“


“Definitely.” I winked at her, “it was killing me inside.”


“Me too.” I saw the Nando’s to the left of us, and my grin became larger. “NANDOOOOSSS!” I jumped up. I dragged her through the door, and ran up to the waitress. Her eyes became large as she recognized who I was, and she straightened up.


“Good afternoon Mr. Horan.”


“Hello Ma’am,” she was being too polite. She started walking towards a table in the corner, and I was thankful. I wasn’t alone with Alexandria much, and at the moment I didn’t want anyone to bother us.


“What would you like for drinks?”


“FANTA!” We both yelled at the same time. We started laughing, but the lady looked at us like we were crazy.


“Okay…” she paused. “Any appetizers?” I looked towards Alex, but she shook her head.


“No thanks.” I paused, an idea striking me. “But… can we actually have ONE Fanta with two straws?” I looked towards Alexandria and winked.


“Sure, I’ll be right back with your drinks.” The waitress walked away.


“Twenty questions.”




“Let’s play twenty questions,” she said. “Me first.”


“Where are you from?”


“Mullingar, Ireland.”


“Your full name?”


“Niall James Horan.”


“Your sign?”


“Virgo,” I said.


“Favourite colour?”




“Leftie or Rightie?”




“Favourite sport?”


“Football, or as you guys call it, socca.”


“I call it football too.”


“My turn!” I exclaimed.


“Your full name?”

“Alexandria Sexy Parker.” I raised my eyebrow.


“Well that explains a lot. Favourite colour?”


“Hmm, it changes a lot. But right now its green.”


“Leftie or Rightie?”


“Rightie,” she paused. “Did you know that left handed people live an average of seven years less than right handed people?” I raised my eyebrow again.


“ITS BECAUSE I’M IRISH, ISN’T IT?” She laughed, causing butterflies in my stomach.


“Where are you from?” I asked.


“Vancouver, Canada.”


“Favourite song?” She blushed and looked down.


“Either A-team by Ed, or err… moments.” I was happy she loved that song, it was one of my favourites too.


“I like that song too. Maybe I could take you to meet Ed one day?” I paused, “anyways… When’s your birthday?”


“September 18th.”


“HAYYYY! That’s five days after mine!” I high-fived her.


“How old are you?”




“WOO! I’m 17.” (I know Niall’s 19, but since I put Louis as 19, Niall is 17 in this fanfic. Zayn is 18, Harry is 17, Liam is 17, Louis is 19, and Niall is 17.) “Hmm… how do you like your hair?”


“What do you mean?”


“Like… do you like it up, down… y’know…”


“Oh,” she laughed. “I like it down and messy, or in a bun.”


“I like it messy,” I said. “Like it is now.” I paused again. “What things are you most afraid of?”


“Spiders. Oh, and trust.”


“You’re afraid of trust?”


“Yeah, I’m afraid of trusting people,” she looked down. “They always break it. I always get hurt in the end, no matter what.” I grabbed her hands in mine. I lifted her head using my hand, and looked into her eyes.


“I would never hurt you Alexandria.” Her eyes became watery, and she nodded.


“I know.” I started leaning in, and so was she. Our faces were a few centimeters away from each other, and I could feel her breath on my lips. I started leaning-


“Here are your drinks!” I looked up, suddenly very pissed. I saw that our waitress had changed. She seemed like an average blonde bimbo. I saw her give a dirty look to Alex, and turn around. She moved her hips more than a normal person would, and I shook my head.


“Oh god…” Alexandria and I started laughing. “D-did you…” I couldn’t get the words out of my mouth, I was laughing too much.


“I-i…” she paused, “Oh my…Ohmygod.” I started laughing louder, and I could sense everybody starring at us. I put my hand on hers, and the sparks flew up my arm.


“YEAH! Did you…” We started laughing even more, but then a flash blinded both of us. I turned and looked outside, and saw some paparazzi. I turned towards Alex and winked, and both of us turned to look outside. We started making funny faces, and the flashes kept going. We stuck our tongues out, gave the peace sign. The move that really had the flashes going, was when she leaned over and kissed my cheek. I had pretended to gasp, and she stayed there for a few seconds, laying a kiss on my cheek. I could feel the blood rushing to my cheeks, and the paparazzi left. The blonde waitress had come up to us again, and this time I realized that her top was open. As she came to take our order, she leaned over, and I directed my gaze to Alexandria in half a second. We both started laughing, and my stomach started hurting. The waitress stood straight, and spat the words out.

“What would you like to order?”

“CHICKEN PERRI PERRI!” We both yelled, and started laughing again. “I’d like some roast potatoes on the side please,” I ordered.


“Can I please have some ceaser salad?”





I slammed my fist onto Louis face as Alexandria falls. Zayn catches her and lifts her up, carrying her over to Niall’s bed. I loved Louis, I really did. He was my best mate, and I could tell him anything. But this? This was even too low for Louis. His words kept spinning through my head.


How could someone I thought I knew so well, change? How could my life fall apart so fast? How could the person that I thought was my shoulder, became the reason I would be even needing one?


‘Yeah go sleep with every lad you see.’ He knew how sensitive Alexandria was. It’s not just that, it’s the girl. Don’t get me wrong, she seems like a great gal. But I could see it as Alex’s nose scrunched up, she knew too. I think that all of the boys could tell. The way Louis was looking at the girl… Jull, Jude… Judith! The way that Louis was looking at her, the way he held her waist. It was all fake. Fake- the word of the day. Why do I feel like everything is suddenly becoming… unreal? I felt Louis sit beside me, and I took a deep breath in.


I always wanted you to be there for me, to be the person I could count on. But now I find hating you. I find myself wishing that I never even met you.


“Too far eh?” he whispered.


“No shit Sherlock,” I snapped back. I buried my face in my hands.


“Ey, mate. Don’t need to be so snappy.”


“Don’t need to be an ass Lou.” I felt him stand up.


“You know what Harry?” I looked to see tears welling up in his eyes. “I don’t need your crap.” He paused. “Because of my so called ‘friends’,” he made quotation signs.


“Friends? So called friends who were always there for you Lou? And this is how you fucking repay us back?”


But here’s the thing. No matter how much you hurt me; I’ll always want you.


“Shut up and let a man talk eh?” He looked down, a tear streaming down his face. I took another deep breath in- holy crap. Through all the shit that has been going on, through everything that had just happened- had anyone thought how Louis felt? This person standing in front of me was Louis Tomlinson- a broken one.


I find myself falling in love with you more everyday. And everyday, I miss you even more.


“I’ve just lost the love of my life. And Haz, it hurts so much, it hurts.” He chokes the words out, making my heart hurt. “I’m not the bad guy Haz, I’m not. I love her so… much.” He looked up. “Have you ever loved someone so much that it hurt, y’know?” The tears started streaming down his face even faster. “That… it just hurt’s to be away from them even for a second?” I nodded. “But d-do you know how much it hurts, to have that person hate you?” Here stood in front of me, the most brave, coragious boy I have ever met. The most funny, crazy, energetic boy.


But what stands in front of me now isn’t any of those. Standing forward of me is a broken hearted man. I stood up, and opened my arms. He leaned in and buried his face in my chest, shaking. Louis’ whole body was shaking, and I could sense my shirt getting wet by the second.


But it hurts to know, that I could ever fall so desperately in love with you. That you would be my other half, and even just the thought of you could make me so happy. That the mention of your name could hurt me, stabbing me through the chest.

But here’s the thing, people change. Sometimes for the worst and sometimes for the best. But one thing that will never change is who we really are, and the memories we have.

Because that is what makes us the person we are right now.

And I’ll always be okay, just not today.

Because behind my smile- is something you will never understand.

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