It Hurts To Know.

It hurts to know that you'll never remember something I'll never forget.

Alexandria has never been more excited for anything. Finally after going through so much struggles and pain, she can FINALLY meet her idols. This was the one night she could get away. Away from all the hatred and pain at home. Away from all the abuse and hurt. But what she and her best friend Chloe thought was going to be an average concert- turned into the best night of their lives. What happens after Chloe leaves? Is Chloe really a TRUE friend? Who will Alex chose? And more importantly... who is hurting them? Will someone finally tell her she's worth it, that she's beautiful... and will somebody finally care for her?


29. Goodbye?




“Nialler I need to go to the bathroom!” I giggled as he continued to tickle me.


“No!! I’ll miss you too much!”


“Well I have to go!” I breathed in. I looked towards him and leaned in, making him think that I was about to kiss him. Niall stopped tickling me and his eyes diverted to mine, and I could feel his grip loosen. We were a centimeter away, and I bounced off my seat. I ran towards the restroom, and ran into the women’s. As I walked towards one of the stalls, someone caught my eye. She was watching herself in the toilet, and she looked like she was wiping away- tears? “Judith?” Her head whipped towards me. “What are you doing in Nandos? Why aren’t you with Louis?” Her head dropped as I said his name.


“I-I just can’t”


“Can’t what?” Her head looked up.


“Do you even remember me?” I was getting confused, what did she mean?




“Does Aspenwood ring a bell?” My breath got caught in my throat- Aspenwood was my old school in Vancouver. I connected everything together- and I realized who Judith really was. I now knew why I had suddenly liked her when I first met her.


“Ju-Jude? Jude D?” A tear streamed down my face as the memories rushed back, and Judi-Jude started nodding her head.




“Ju-Ju do you think that one day we won’t be friends anymore?” Jude shook her head, the sunlight reflecting on her blond hair. I remember it being in ponytails, and she was glowing. We were sitting in the sandpit at school, and we were making a secret handshake. We were in grade 3, both being 8.


“Yeah, were BFF’s!”




“Forever and more.”




I ran towards Jude and hugged her. The familiar smell, I had my best friend back. I was shaking now, and it was hard to breath.


“I-I missed you-you so much.”


“I’ve-Me too Lex-Lex.” The tears streamed faster down my fast as she called me that- it was an old nickname. I felt like I had found my other half again- and my tears turned into tears of joy. She pushed me out of the hug and shook me. “You need to get back together with Louis.”


“No he-“


“I know what he did- and you really don’t know what happened. Hear me-“




“OH JUST SHUP UP AND LISTEN!” She yelled. Jude took out her iPhone and went to the recorder app, and pressed the play button. “I heard Louis and Harry talking, and I knew that I had to get this.” I automatically recognized the voice that came on- it was Louis’.


“Ey, mate. Don’t need to be so snappy.”


“Don’t need to be an ass Lou.”


“You know what Harry I don’t need your crap.” He paused. “Because of my so called ‘friends’-“


“Friends? So called friends who were always there for you Lou? And this is how you fucking repay us back?”


“Shut up and let a man talk eh? I’ve just lost the love of my life. And Haz, it hurts so much, it hurts.” He chokes the words out, making my heart hurt. “I’m not the bad guy Haz, I’m not. I love her so… much have you ever loved someone so much that it hurt, y’know? That… it just hurt’s to be away from them even for a second? But d-do you know how much it hurts, to have that person hate you?” Every single word that Louis was saying broke my heart into tiny pieces.


“Then why did you kiss Chloe?”

“That’s the thing Haz- I didn’t!” Wait- what?




“Alexandria had gone out to talk to Niall, and Chloe said that she needed to talk. So when she came, she started acting all bitchy. She-she” I could imagine Louis crying. “She leaned in for a kiss,” he took a big breath in. “And I told her to get out. She didn’t listen- but I really did tell her to leave. She leaned in again- and she trapped me with her arms. When she leaned in this time, Alexandria walked through the fricken door- what were the odds? Of her coming in at that exact moment? Harry- I know that Chloe and Niall planned this. I saw them snogging the day Niall hurt Alex- and they were both asses. But- but how could my best mate hurt me so much? Why woul-“ Judith pressed the pause button.


“Do you understand how much he loves you?” Another tear streamed down my face, falling on my jean. I was sitting against a wall, still in the bathroom. I nodded as I stood up, ready to go talk to Niall. As I opened the door- I saw him. The very broken Louis Tomlinson, a tear going down his face. He looked towards a girl as she stood in front of him, and they looked like they were fighting. I looked at the girls blonde hair, and knew who it was- Eleanor. 


“Louis- leave that girl and come to me. “


“Leave me the fuck alone Eleanor!”




“No El! I’m in love with her.” I could hear the desperation in Louis voice. “You would have never cheated on me if you really loved me.”


“But baby-“


“I am not your baby, you mean nothing to me.” He spat the words out. Eleanor’s mouth dropped open, and she turned around walking away. Louis looked around, shaken. I started running towards him. He saw me, and a glimpse of regret flashed on his eyes.


“Alex-“ I shut him up by crashing my lips onto his. He leaned back and looked into my eyes. “Does this mean-“




“No?” I sighed and lead him over to a booth. I grabbed his hands and looked into his eyes, ready to tell him the truth.






“I love you.”


“And I love yo-“


“But I also love Niall.”


“You wh-“


“And Harry.”




“And Liam.”




“And possibly Zayn.”


“But you can’t just love 5 fricken guys!” The anger was seeping through his voice, but I could also hear him being so hurt. I shook my head, I knew what I had to do.


“And that’s why I’m leaving.”


“L-leaving?” I looked up to see Niall standing beside Louis. I nodded, the tears now welling up in my eyes.


“I need- I need a new start a new-“


“You are not leaving.” I was startled by the appearance of Harry and the rest of the boys.


“Where the hell are you guys coming from?!”


“Don’t change the subject Alexandria.” I looked up towards Zayn to see his eyes burning with anger.


“I need to-“


“YOU ARE NOT LEAVING!” Liam yelled. I stood up, shocked.


“I AM LEAVING.” A tear streamed down my face. “Guys, these past few days have been the be-“


“Then why do you want to leave?” Harry said.


“I… I cant get you guys hurt.”


“How could you hurt us?” Louis asked.


“Guys, I need to go back. Back to home, I can’t leave-“ My phone started ringing, and I picked it up, setting it on speaker. “Hello?”


“Wheree the hell are youu?” The words were slurred. My heart skipped a beat as I recognized the voice.



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