Holding On

Rose, the word ponders around my crammed mind and all it ever picks out is the color red. Red, the color of love, anger, blood. My name is inexplainable. My life, was inexplainable, until I met him.


16. Same Mistakes


This chapter is a bit graphic. Please read at your own will.


"Rose?! The hell you doing here, love! You had us worried sick!"

My eyelids fluttered open to see all of the lads towered above me.

"We couldn't find you...I was so worried." Stated Niall.

I sat up quickly, my drenched clothes sticking to my body. It took a moment for me to gain recognition of what happened last night.

"I-I...I'm sorry..." I stuttered, guilt creeping around my body.

"That's all you have to say? Don't you EVER run out like that again. You're lucky you were kidnapped. God I am so fucking pissed right now, Rose!" Louis snapped at me, tears swelling in his eyes. I cowered and looked at my feet. He was right, how could I be so selfish and stupid?

"Let's go get you back to the house, yeah?" Liam spoke, picking me up bridal style, shooting a look at Louis.


"I did a terrible thing, Liam." I admitted, my lip trembling in attempt to hold back the tears.

"It's all right, you're safe now that's all that matters." He replied.

"No it's not all right, Liam! I made Louis cry and all of you upset! I'm such a fucking bitch!"

Liam shot his head to me, furrowing his eyebrows. "You aren't a bitch, Rose now stop it." He handed me my clothes and stormed out of the room. He slammed the door with so much force, the pictures on my walls collapsed and shattered against the wooden floor.

I hated myself. All I was doing was causing trouble. From now on, I was just going to stay out of their way for the next month. Then I'll be back at my old home, making sure to be forgotten so I don't interfere anymore. That's when I saw it, a pair of scissors on the counter. I opened them as wide as I could, and stared at its blade, holding it in between my eyes.

I sat down on the bed, and rolled up my shorts.

"No one will see if I do it high enough." I slowly brought the blade to my thigh, my hands trembling as I held my breath and made the first cut. It wasn't deep, but it got the point across.

The next cut was easier, and deeper. I bit my lip as I did another. Three cuts. One for each mess up I've done since I met these boys.

A sudden knock on the door startled me, and I dropped the scissors accidentally.

"Hey Rose...can we talk?" It was Niall. I quickly rolled down my shorts and hid the blade inside my jewelry box.

"Y-ya sure. Come in." I replied, my voice shaky. I unlocked the door for him.

"Thanks." I faked a smile and nodded. "So, I know things have been rocky this passed week, so I wanted to know if you want to go to the beach with the lads and I later?" I smiled, relieved that he didn't want to confront me about what happened last night.

"That would be great." I smiled, giving him a tight squeeze.

"Wonderful. We'll meet you outside in a half an hour." And with that, he was gone.

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