Let Her Be ((DeathNote FanFic))

"Let her be." His sweet voice echoed through the hallways of Wammy's lively orphanage. I sat alone on the steps of the majestic home and wondered if I could ever 'be'.

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2. That Day.

 

((A/N: Not bothered about true times, connections in original manga and anime, MY FANFIC. It's all a story children... BeyondLawliet))

 

((11 years later))


"Stop it! Get off of me!" I yelped, whilst giggling uncontrollably at the constant pain I had to deal with. By pain, I should really say 'pains'. Aka, Mihael Kheel and Mail Jeevas, better known as Mello and Matt. I punched Mello in the shoulder and he budged, but only slightly. 

"Your on top of me! Move!" Matt protested, thinking I was talking to him. Matt pushed at Mello's other side. 

"Will you both give up and let me stand?" Matt sighed and I laughed louder, refraining from hitting the blonde. As soon as Mello was on his feet and dusting his leather pants, I yanked at his leg causing him to fall again. 

"Told you I'd win." I chucked, dashing for the door. We were outside at the time, and the dirt and mud only added to the pile up I'd been a part of. I forced my crushed legs to run onward I felt my breath cutting at my throat. Pushing onwards, I finally reached my shared room, slamming the door and bracing it with my shoulder. I huffed and puffed, my heart beginning to pound furiously in my ear. I closed my eyes and listened into the door. Nothing. Safe for now. I smiled. Though me and the boys would mess around and 'play' hurt each other, I'd make sure, using my eyes, that I never hurt them too badly. Never did anything that would affect their lifespan, and cause them problems in later life. Speaking of eyes, they fluttered angrily, unhappy with my decision to wear contacts. I scrunched my eyes shut and poked and prodded at the itching annoyance with my finger. 

"Doing that won't help." My smile widened and I flung myself on the unsuspecting Near. Little Near, though he was a year older than me. He was still my little curly haired best friend. 

"Shh Near." I giggled and played with his hair, mimicking his own motions. He shrugged me off and carried on messing with the Rubix cube. He completed it in a few more twists. I gazed in amazement at his great intellect, he surely was one to be reconed with. "Today's the special day!" I chimed. Staking the date on the calender with my nail. 

"Hmm. Well, it isn't Christmas, isn't Easter or some other holiday... Isn't your birthday... So what is it?" Near's emotionless face allowed a smirk to creak through his mask. He knew exactly what day it was. I decdided to put my favourite of all Wammys out of his misery. 

"Anniversary!" I giggled, before regaining some sense. "The day Lawliet brought me back here..." I trailed off and let my hand slip from the calender. Near huffed. 

"You shouldn't call him that." I bowed my head slightly and allowed my hair to fall around my face.

'I know but..." I looked over at the closed door. Begining to feel some weight in my chest. "Do you think he'll come?" I looked back to Near and he left his puzzle to look my in the eyes. 

"Maybe." I slight smile spread across his face. I smiled back. He knew how much this day meant to me. When Lawliet, or rather, L,  left Wammy's to become the amazing detective, he promised me he'd visit each year, on this day, just to see me. It was a lot of false hope. I only know now I have aged, that it was a stupid fake promise to keep me going, to keep that innocent wide eyed child hoping. Ironic. Lawliet brought me to everyhting I could ever have hoped for, and then he was the one leaving me behind. I'd always worried that I'd leave the little boy behind, but he grew. He became the best, the only and in his progression, I was left behind. It's selfish of me to think this way. Lawliet deserved his life. His L life.

"I can only hope." I said with false exaggeration. Sarcasm hinted there. I joined the fair boy on the floor and hugged his lifeless arm. It's stone cold emotionless hold was something I'd grown accustomed to. Near's absent hand twirled one of his white curly locks. I watched in admiration at how his little habit could amuse me so. I knocked his pale fingers away and twirled it myself, understanding how 'fun' it was. I felt an involunatry smile crack through my face. I began laughing. I dont know why, I just did. My eyes seeming to glow, watery only slightly, my smile dimplying my cheeks ever so, and brushing my eyes with a squint of happiness. Said dimpled cheeks blushing happily. 

"Why am I so happy Nate?" I whispered. Only allowing myself to use his true name when anything was serious, or meaningfu on the highest degree. 

"One can only guess." My smile began to dim.

"Yes. Well, I'm stuck guessing." He chuckled, though it sounded wrong.

"Continuously my dear." A smile mirroring mine. I loved it when Near smiled. He never used to smile apprently. He only would allow this rare glimpse of a real boy beneath that armor, since I'd been able to be with him alone. When it was just us, our friendship was stronger. I rested my head on Near's arm and watched as he continued his puzzles.

"Maybe..." I whispered into his sleeve. Feeling everything in my life weighing on my shoulders. I rubbed again at my irritating contacts. I glanced above the curly mess of Near's hair watching his bobbing digits dance near his curls. I smiled weakly at his present life span, long and healthy. I surpressed a tear as I rembered how selfish my actions 11 years ago were. My presence, Lawliets decision to take me in, had essentially shortenned his lifespan. The tear leaked out of my eye. I rubbed it away fiercly, not wanting Near to see how pathetic I could be.

"Of all days... Today you are proven most emotional... Correct?" Near inspected a red die as he spoke, before turning towards me. I lifted my heavy head and nodded.

"I don't know why. It just is." Near sighed.

"I wish... Sometimes... I coud feel like you." Near looked down ashamed of his words.

"It's horrible." I laughed. Seeing how depressing our conversation had gotten. I stood up and straightenned my clothes. "Come on." I let my hand stretch out towards the hunched boy. It detoured and ran through his curly hair. Catching at his snowy flicks. "I wish I had hair like yours." I giggled, lightenning up. A heard a little huff escape his pale lips as a small smile entered his face once again. He forced himself up and I grabbed his hand, cradling them both with the other. Near watch our joined hands as I pulled him out. 

 

 

I reached the main office, Near in tow and let my hopes fly high as I searched the empty room. I felt everything drop. My far too high hopes, and along with it all, I dropped Near's hand. I stared hopessly into the empty room. Another year... I told myself. I plodded with heavy limbs up to the window, watching the rain drop from into its clear frame. I wondered how long I had moped in our room with Near. I touched the glass, allowing my palm to feel the icy cold spike of its surface. I closed my eyes and recalled the cold in my feet a mere 11 years ago. I switched my weight anxiously from my left foot to my right, mimicking walking. I felt my eyes opening and I took in the window again. 

"Come on." I heard Near say from the door. I refused and balled my fists. "Now." He insisted.

"But..." I protested. 

"Now, Alice. Today's over. Let's go back to being A." 

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