See Through

Olivia Adams isn't alive, but she isn't dead either. Somewhere between heaven and hell lies perpetual purgatory, and she's inevitably stuck in it. There's unfinished business to be tended to, but the question of what it is remains unanswered. She walks the streets of New York City with tears in her eyes, but nobody notices the girl that barely exists. Until a beautiful day. Niall Horan has found her, and he sees and feels and hears her. She's falling in love with him, even though she's frightened since her last lover took her very own life. Through Niall, Olivia is able to reconnect with her sister, Jessi, and exist as if she never left. But, what happens when a dark mass tries to ruin any chance Olivia has of living again? Will the mass get to her, allowing her spirit to move on? Will she be able to fight it off long enough to become human again? Or, will she forever remain see through?


18. Showcase



It's weird being back in New York, all eight of us shoved into my little two-bedroom apartment. But, it feels natural and light-hearted. Things are getting better, slowly but surely, and I'm pumped for my showcase tonight.

“You ready to go?” Niall asks, grabbing his jacket.

“Yeah,” I say with a smile.

“You look beautiful,” Louis says, kissing my forehead. Not to sound conceited, but he's right. I put on my best clothes, got my hair done, and even splurged for a facial just for this performance. Looking in the mirror on my way out the door, I notice it. My face, Olivia's face. We could honestly be twins, even though her face is much softer.

It takes almost thirty minutes to get to Martin's Night Club, and when we do the line at the door is already backed up around the corner. Suddenly my gut turns and nervous feelings creep their way into my mind. “Maybe this is too much,” I say. “Tons of people come here every weekend to see who's playing. I don't want to suck.”

“Hey...” Niall says. “That's impossible.”

“Agreed,” adds Louis. “We've never actually heard you sing, but I know you'll be amazing.”

Right, that much I have to live for. I'm a nervous wreck I sneak the guys through the back door so they're not bombarded by the crowd. As we file in backstage, the host of the evening announces the event.

“Okay,” he says. “You all know how it's done here. There'll be five performers and the one with the most earnings wins. It takes guts for these people to give you a show, so give them your appreciation by donating to your favorite one. Let's give a hand to our first performer, James Collins.”

Finally, after the first four people play their set, it's my turn. Niall comes up to me right before I go on. “Take a deep breath,” he says, and I do. Inhale, exhale. “The guys and I are going to introduce you.


Before I can object, four guys walk past us and onto the stage. Niall joins them. “Ladies and gentlemen!” I hear Liam's voice from backstage and a ripple of female screams. The place has really blown up in storm. “Tonight we have a very special performer. Put your hands together for Jessica Adams!”

They scream and clap for the guys while I inch slowly out onto the stage. The hot, bright lights shine down into my eyes, ruining my ability to see the audience. Then, as the lights turn down and the spotlight comes on, I see a face.

Olivia's face.

In the back, down by the projector, she's there with that usual smile on her face. She looks kind of transparent, and very, very weak. I smile at her and she nods. My imagination sure is a sharp shooter, that's for sure. I feel a boost of confidence and pick up my guitar.

“Thank you guys,” I say into the microphone. “Uhm, tonight I want to sing a song dedicated to my beautiful sister Olivia. Rest in peace, I love.”

I strum on my guitar, forcing the intro with shaky hands and a scattered brain. Then, I look at her once more. She's still there, edging me on. Without further hesitation, I sing, “Sunny days seem to hurt the most, I wear the pain like a heavy coat, I feel you every where I go. I see your smile, I see your face, I hear you laughing in the rain, I still can't believe you're gone.”

The song goes on and I glance at her every chance I get. For a moment it actually feels like she's really there, and that she's really watching. “I'll see you again someday,” I sing the last few notes and the crowd cheers. I look back to that spot where Olivia was, and she's gone.

Time to accept it, gone.

I can see tears in some of the crowd's eyes as the announcer – along with the other performers – comes out to reveal the winner. The guys are waiting backstage, and I want nothing more than to leave. The emotions have gotten to me, and if I stand on this stage another second, two hundred people are going to see me ball my eyes out.

“Well,” says the announcer. “Looks like we have a winner. This contestant has one many of these before, and tonight is no different. Jessi Adams!” I gasp, not really believing it. He hands me the bowl of dollar bills and change. “Congratulations, Jessi. It's good to see you back.”

I smile at him and take the money as the crowd claps. Backstage, the guys clap as I approach them. “I didn't know you could sing like that!” Niall says, wrapping his arms around me. “That was great!”

“I try,” I say.

“You were perfect,” says Louis, kissing my lips gently.

“Ms. Adams?” I turn and find the man's voice I've heard many times before. “I don't know how many of my cards I've given you, but here's one more. Hopefully I'll hear from you this time.”

“You can count on it,” I say with a smile. He smiles back and walks away politely as Niall comes back up to me.

“Who was that?” he asks.

“A producer from Capitol Records. He gave me his card. But look...” I drag him off to the side where nobody can hear us. “...I think I saw Olivia. In the crowd.”

His face goes blank as he takes in what I've told him. “That's impossible,” he says.

“Seriously?” I say sarcastically. “She died, became a ghost, and was on her way to being human again. Do you honestly believe anything is impossible?”

“Good point,” he says in a whisper. “But...the mass got her and she's gone. Accept it now or never, Jessi.”







Seeing Jessi perform broke my heart, but I have to do what I feel is right. That night, I didn't go back to Jessi's because I knew she'd be there. Instead I went home to my dad's, where he and our younger brother – Jimmy – were having dinner.

I walked right through the front door, and of course neither of them saw me. They were the rocks who kept Jessi going, and they accepted my death better than she did. If I do become solid to everyone, they'll be the last ones that see me.

“Your sister did good tonight, don't you think?” he said to Jimmy.

“She was okay. Not as good as...well, before. I don't like that she made Olivia a part of it.”

“Why not?”

“Cause it just brings back old grief. Nobody wants that.”

I rolled my eyes at the brother I never got along with. He and Jessi were close, but he and I were like fire and gasoline. We just didn't mix. “Well I thought it was nice,” he replies. “Maybe you should do something like that. Find yourself a hobby instead of sitting around playing video games.”

“No!” Jimmy protested (<--ahaha.) “I don't want to make anything out of myself.”

“Why not?!”

“Because if you have dreams, they just get ripped from you. Whether it's from failure or being killed by your sick-in-the-head boyfriend, dreams get shredded.”

“Olivia was unfortunate,” dad replied. “Don't put her death on your shoulders. Don't be afraid to experience life, son.”

“Don't.” He stood from the table. “Olivia taught me to be cautious, and she should've taught you to be a better dad. God knows you weren't when she was alive.”

“Don't you dare say that to me!”

“Why did!? Why!? Damnit, I'm sixteen years old and I still have to hide any emotions from you because you go all Dr. Phil on me! I don't need you feel sympathy for me, I need you to mourn Olivia, dad! She deserves that much.”

He stomped off to his room without further discussion. My heart fell to the floor as he said that, and now, as I lay in my hotel bed thinking about this journey, I feel more close to him than ever. All this time I thought he hated me, but now I see how much he misses having me around.

However, he was right about dad. Jessi was his princess and I was his devil child. That's just how it was, and looking back I'm not even sure I ever saw him shed one tear for me. I don't know if he was just holding back, or if he really didn't care.

On top of that, I can't believe my baby brother is sixteen now.

It's sad how much I'm missing while being see through.






A/N: So! There's two new chapters for you guys! I've had them written for a while, but certain things prevented me from posting them -_-   Sorry that these chapters weren't so I said, I'm suffering from a bad case of writer's block. But! I know where I want the story to go from here. I don't know if I'll be able to post tomorrow cause tomorrow is MY BIRTHDAY!!! Yay, finally 18!! But, I'll try my best. In the meantime, what do you think is gonna happen? Honestly I don't think you'll expect it. I try to make the story unpredictable but I don't know if it's successful, haha! Anyway, things are about to take a turn for the worst, and it's Olivia against the mass. One will go down in defeat while the other rises in victory. (That sounded like some kind of Hunger Games stuff, but you get my point.) I love you guys, hope you enjoyed<3



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