See Through

Olivia Adams isn't alive, but she isn't dead either. Somewhere between heaven and hell lies perpetual purgatory, and she's inevitably stuck in it. There's unfinished business to be tended to, but the question of what it is remains unanswered. She walks the streets of New York City with tears in her eyes, but nobody notices the girl that barely exists. Until a beautiful day. Niall Horan has found her, and he sees and feels and hears her. She's falling in love with him, even though she's frightened since her last lover took her very own life. Through Niall, Olivia is able to reconnect with her sister, Jessi, and exist as if she never left. But, what happens when a dark mass tries to ruin any chance Olivia has of living again? Will the mass get to her, allowing her spirit to move on? Will she be able to fight it off long enough to become human again? Or, will she forever remain see through?


15. Realizing



I see the mass every second of every day now. It's always there, pulling at me and luring me into it. Niall says that I have to fight it, but it's like a vortex, drawing me to it. No need to say that I'm terrified as it keeps getting closer to me...maybe ten feet away now.

Since it backed away before, after that little scene with Andrea and Harry, I thought maybe it would finally just go away. No, it only grew stronger, bigger, more evil and lustful. It wants me, and it'll stop at nothing to get to me. I hear a voice emit from it every once in a while, whispering my name. No matter how I try, I can't stop the feeling of wanting to go to it's making me want it.

But no matter. I'm going to fight for my chance. My life is worth fighting for, regardless of the outcome.

I feel different now...more human than ever. While on tour with the guys, I realize more and more people are able to see and hear me. On top of that, I'm experiencing emotions greater than ever, especially when it comes down to Niall.

God, that boy. I swear I'm in love with him, but I don't dare tell him that. I don't want to risk those three words and cause him to retreat. Until he says it, my lips are sealed. Before, a part of me was scared to fall in love again because of what Brian did to me. But I know Niall would never, ever hurt me, even if his life depended on it. He does care about me. I don't know if he loves me per say, but I do know he cares.

And that's enough for me.

The next few weeks go by blurry and fast, like everything moves at one hundred miles per hour. The guys do their shows, Jessi and Louis grow closer, and the mass is always there calling for me. I thought maybe I should just give in and let it take me, but then I remembered Niall. I can't leave him. What we have is something special, and I can't just let that go.

“If that mass gets to you,” he says, laying awake in bed with me. “I don't know what I'll do without you.”

“Don't talk like that,” I reply. “It's not going to. I'm stronger.”

“Yeah, but...we're waiting for you to become human. How do we know when it happens?”

“I guess we'll just know. I mean, Liam and Zayn both can hear me now, and Zayn can kind of see me. I'm becoming solid every single day.”

He purses his lips and kisses me lightly on the forehead. “You are,” he whispers. “Insane as it is, you really are.”

This whole thing is confusing to not only Niall, but to me too. How can a dead girl become human again, even if she is a “half-light?” It doesn't make sense to anyone, not that I had suspected it to. Luckily Niall calls his investigator regularly to find out more information. He told Niall that half-lights are drawn to the black and red, electric mass, and they feel the need to let it take them to the hereafter. They can't help it. I myself, cannot help it.

That explains some things, like how a lot of times I feel like walking up to it and just giving myself to it. I don't, however. I've already died once, and I refuse to again. Unfortunately, the investigator doesn't have much explanation as to what the mass is, or why it craves half-lights. He just says that the mass is negative energy. Hate towards me gets it closer, affection pushes it back.

Then and there, I know what is making it get closer. Or, should I say, WHO.






“Let's have a talk,” Louis says in his beautiful little voice as he joins me on the couch. “About what's happened between us.”

I look around the room awkwardly, waiting for the worst possible outcome of this conversation. “Okay,” I mumble.

He situates himself, like he's hesitant and not quite sure of what to say. Finally, he begins. “I really like you,” he says. “And I know you like me. We have a lot of fun together, but what do you say we take this a little further?”

“I think we've taken it as far as it can go, if you know what I mean,” I say with a giggle.

He throws his head back in laughter and agrees. “Right you are. But I meant...” he grabs my hand and holds it in his. “Let's be together. If you want, I'd like to be your boyfriend. I know it's kind of sudden, but I feel like we got something here.”

I smile and lean in to kiss him. Our lips move together perfectly. No words, no reply. I just kiss his beautiful lips.

Suddenly, I feel my hair being yanked out of my scalp, jerking up into the air and trying to lift me from the couch. I pull away and try to free myself from this cold, lavender and vanilla grasp, but it's tugging at me so hard that I can't fight it off.

Louis panics, eyes wide and terrified of what he sees. “Jessi!” he yells.

“HELP ME!” I scream as I'm hoisted into the air and tossed around like a chew toy. Things that feel like fists fly into my face, bruising my eyes and busting my lip open. I've become a rag doll in this thing's hands. I can't yell, I can't fight. I'm just a piece of lump being thrown around.

Niall runs into the room, and I can hear the faint voice of Olivia.

“LET HER GO!” she yells. “IT'S ME YOU WANT!”

I'm dropped to the floor in writhing pain. Niall helps me to the couch as Louis runs to get a wet towel to clean my up. As he patting down my face, nearly in tears, I see Niall screaming at the air...or Olivia, in other words.

“Don't, Olivia! Stay away from it!”

“Shut up, Niall. This thing is going to pay.”







Olivia is face to face with this dark shadow that I myself can barely see. She refers to it as the mass, but I only see faint whisps of black in the air. She takes little steps closer to it, and I grab her shoulders to pull her back. “Olivia, no!”

She spins around and stares at me with hatred. “Did you not just see what it did to Jessi!? It's using her to get to me!! If it wants me, it can have me!”

“Listen to yourself!” I yell at her. “Have you gone completely insane!? You're almost human, Olivia! Don't ruin this!”

“My sister WILL be avenged,” she says through clenched teeth.

“Olivia!” Jessi yells. We both turn to her. “Stop it, right now!” I love how Jessi's not afraid to be assertive with people. “That thing is making you do this. I'll be fine, but only if you calm the hell down!”

Her face changes and her tense shoulders become relaxed and easy. The “mass” is gone from my sight, but I know Olivia still sees it by the way she constantly looks over her shoulder. “I''m sorry,” she says to me. I take her in my arms and let her cry on my shoulder, because honestly I don't know what else to do to give her comfort.

“Don't you dare leave me,” I whisper into her ear. I feel her nod, and I know that we're least for now. I don't know how much more of this mass thing she can take before she completely gives in. For heaven's sake, she's so fragile and innocent to me, and when she breaks it's going to destroy her. If I could do anything to stop it, I would. Within a heartbeat.




Thank God for Niall Horan. The next day I take his hand as we enjoy a moonlit stroll along the beach, just on the shore of Texas. The tour has gone well, despite the mishaps with the mass, and Niall desperately needs a break.

We saw this as an opportunity for a little date night.

The beach is completely deserted, and the only noises are that of the waves brushing gently against our bare feet. “This is perfect,” I say, closing my eyes and breathing in the fresh, salty air. “I wish we could stay like this forever.”

“Me too,” he says, leading me up further to the sand where we can sit down. I collapse with him onto our blanket and cuddle up in his arms. “It's so peaceful.”

“Niall? Do you ever think of where you would be if you hadn't spoken to me that day?”

“Not really. I can't even imagine not having you.”

“That's sweet.”

His lips press forcefully against mine as his hand fiddles its way up my leg in hopes of going just a little higher with each stroke. When he takes it a bit too far, I stop him. “Niall, no...” I say, interrupting the passionate kisses he's leaving on my neck.

“What?” he says, raising up and looking me in the eyes.

“Not that. I can't do that.”

“Oh....” he says, sitting up and running his fingers through his hair. “Sorry.”

I feel bad for making him feel guilty. “No, no,” I say, sitting up with him. “It's not you, I promise. It's just that...Brian used to force me to do that, and it'll just bring back bad memories.”

“It's okay,” he says.

“Are you sure, because you seem upset.”

He laughs, “No, I'm fine, really. I'm not sure if it's even possible anyway. Besides, I would never hurt you.”

What he says pierces my soul. I'm not sure if it's even possible. Way to lay that on my shoulders, the thought that I'll never be equal to a real human girl. Because, whether I'm a half-light or not, I'm not alive yet. I'm dead. A ghost. Not here. Imaginary. Invisible....




See through.

At this point, Niall deserves someone real.



A/N: Sorry it's taken me so long to write, guys. I'm having a little bit of a writer's block, so I know this chapter isn't exactly the greatest. Don't worry, though! Future chapters will be a lot better, or at least I'll try to make them that way :p  Anyway, please be patient for upcoming chapters, because I do have a lot going on at the moment. I write whenever I can, and I hope you guys understand. Thank you so much for the support! And by the way, I love it when you guys post your own interpretations. I like seeing what you guys think :3  Much love<3

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