See Through

Olivia Adams isn't alive, but she isn't dead either. Somewhere between heaven and hell lies perpetual purgatory, and she's inevitably stuck in it. There's unfinished business to be tended to, but the question of what it is remains unanswered. She walks the streets of New York City with tears in her eyes, but nobody notices the girl that barely exists. Until a beautiful day. Niall Horan has found her, and he sees and feels and hears her. She's falling in love with him, even though she's frightened since her last lover took her very own life. Through Niall, Olivia is able to reconnect with her sister, Jessi, and exist as if she never left. But, what happens when a dark mass tries to ruin any chance Olivia has of living again? Will the mass get to her, allowing her spirit to move on? Will she be able to fight it off long enough to become human again? Or, will she forever remain see through?


14. Farther Away



The door of the suite opens and Olivia comes in. “Where've you been?” I ask her.

“Went for a walk. Mmm that smells good.” She jogs over to the pancakes and slides two of them onto a plate along with some bacon. She begins eating, and we're all left there in awe.

“That's so creepy,” Harry says. “Seeing food move on its own.”

“It's not moving on its own, dumbass,” Lena scolds. “Olivia is eating.”

“Damn right I'm eating, I'm about to starve,” she adds with a laugh.

I can't believe my eyes. First she's sleeping and now this. God, please let her be human again. I like this Olivia I see. The one that breathes and sleeps and eats. The one that REALLY IS alive, whether others can see her or not. I look over at Jessi, whose happy to see her sister changing even more.

I know what Jessi did, and to be honest I'm happy for her. I've felt so bad for so long that I lifted up her spirits and hopes, and then just tore them down. Frankly I thought that if she were to ever be with another guy, it would make me jealous. But for some unknown reason, I'm not. Actually, I take that back. I DO know the reason. Olivia. I have her and I don't and never will need anyone else. Being able to see her has made me the happiest – and luckiest – man in the world.

Before we leave California, I have a meeting with a psychic. I received an email just this morning after breakfast. Dear Niall, my name is Savannah, and I'm a licensed paranormal psychic. Your investigator told me about you, and I get this odd feeling that you need my help. Please contact me as soon as you can.

I contacted her, and now she's standing in my hotel. She's the stereotypical psychic: weird clothes, weird attitude, but yet intriguing. I follow and dance on her words. Her senses Olivia's presence, but she senses another.

“There's a dark force at work here,” she says. “The mass. Something's keeping it from you, Olivia, and it's not happy. At this point it will stop at nothing to get to you, even if it means tormenting those you love. It's not interested in Niall, but your sister, Jessi.”

How did she even know about Jessi? “How do we stop it?”

“You can't,” she says bluntly. “It could possibly give up, but there's no guarantee.”

“Okay then,” I reply. “Why can I see Olivia? Lena and I?”

She places a cold hand on my forehead and closes her eyes. “New York City, 2008. You were fourteen years old. She helped you.” I ransack my brain for certain memories. I remember the trip to America my dad and I took, but I don't remember any life changing events. “I'm seeing you running across the street, and cars flying by. She pulled you away from a bus.”

My God. That was her.

“That was Olivia?” I ask. I glance over to her sitting on the couch, in shock the same as me.

“I had no clue,” Olivia says.

“Yes,” the psychic, Savannah, replies. “And Lena called a suicide hotline a couple of years back.”

Olivia's head falls to her hands as she hears the words. “I used to volunteer. To save people.” It hits me then what a great person Olivia really was, and how much she doesn't deserve being the way she is. My heart breaks for her. For the life she might never have.

“We have to keep the mass away from her,” I tell Savannah. “There's no other option.”

“How can you fight something you cannot see?” she says. “It'll take a lot. But, I think I may have the answer you're looking for. A person is keeping it away from Olivia. One person, that's it. I don't know if it's you, Jessi, or whoever else. But someone is, and they're doing a good job. However, their protection won't last much longer.”






Olivia tells me what the psychic said, and I'm scared but glad they found answers at the same time. I told myself I would talk to her about this, so now is my chance. “Olivia,” I say. “I have to tell you. I know you've fallen in love with Niall. And I want you to know it's okay. You don't have to hide it anymore.”

“Really?” I hear her say. I feel arms surround me in a hug. “You don't know how great it is to hear you say that. I know Niall told you we're together, but we suppress it when you're around. I thought you were hurt.”

“I was,” I say as the arms pull away. “But I think I've found someone else.”


“Well, Louis. I mean it just kind of happened and I didn't stop him. He's quite the romantic, I'll give him that. I don't know if we could be together forever, but I think we could have a shot.”

“So are you guys dating?” she asks.

“I don't know. Maybe. We had...well, ya know, sex the other night. I'm not sure if it means we're a couple, or if we're just friends with benefits. It's frustrating to think about.”

“I'm happy for you,” she says, laughing. “And I already knew, by the way. Niall told me about your little rendezvous.”

“I figured he would....Olivia, I'm scared for you.”

I feel arms wrapped me up again. “Don't be scared. I'm not going anywhere. But I want you to promise me you'll be careful. With Louis, I mean.” She pulls away again.

“What do you mean?” I ask.

“Jessi, you could end up heartbroken, or worse, pregnant.”

I laugh at her statement. “Don't even worry about that, I'm all set. As for heartbreak, I'm not even sure what we are. So for now, we're just having fun.” In the back of my mind, a part of me hopes for something more with him, but he's just got out of a relationship. He's probably not ready to commit again.

“Alright well, I'll be back in a bit,” she says.

“Where are you going?”

“New York. I have to face some fears and take care of a few things.”






One minute I'm in the suite, and the next I'm standing on the streets of New York City, staring up at the old prison that's been there for years and years. I walk through the gates and through the stone wall, though it's difficult to talk through things these days.

I don't know how many cells I've passed, but I finally find the one I'm looking for.

He's there with his head in his hands. If what that investigator said was true about those whose life I changed, or changed mine, can see me...then what I'm about to do will work.

“Hello Brian,” I say in the coldest tone I can manage. “Miss me?”

His head shoots up and his eyes are wide with fear. “What the fuck!!” he shouts. “What are you!!”

“Don't you recognize me?” I ask. “Remember? You said you loved me.” I inch closer and closer to him, but he backs away onto his cot. “What's the matter, Brian? Ghost got your tongue?”

“Stay away from me, or I swear I'll –”

“You'll what!?!?!” I throw my head back with laughter, though my gut is squirming with fear of him. “Kill me again?? You took everything from me...but I'm not here to hurt you.” He softens and I see those same innocent eyes that tricked me into his dark, twisted games. “I'm here to forgive you,” I say, believing the words myself. “I may be dead, but not for long. When I come back, I'll be alive and happy....but you, you'll still be stuck in here for the rest of your life, paying the price for what you did to me and God only knows who else.”

“I didn't do anything that wasn't needed,” he replies in a nasty pitch. Well, there goes that innocence. “Forgive me all you want,” he says, “but I'll never regret getting rid of a little bitch that didn't deserve to live.”

His fear is gone now, that much I can see. “I'm sorry you feel that way,” I say. “But just remember, when they put you on death row, what goes around comes around.”

I vanish back to California, in the suite where Jessi has disappeared and instead, she's replaced by Harry and Andrea. “Jessi would kill me if she knew I were here,” she says. “But forget her. I think she's evil, and Niall has put us all in danger...regardless of what his investigator said. The investigator Jessi and I talked to said she was bad, and I believe it. Are you on my side, babe?”

I freeze, waiting for Harry's reply. I know he hates me, so I know what's about to come. “Andy, you know I really care about you and stuff, but I really don't think she's bad.” Well that's a shocker. “I mean she does a lot of stuff to scare the living hell out of me, but it's all good fun.”

“What!?” Andrea shouts, jumping to her feet. “You're siding with Jessi!? I'm your girlfriend!”

I scowl at her, and bang on the wall to let them know I'm here. They both jump and I pick up a pad and pencil that lays beside the suite's telephone. I write, “I'm not evil, but you are sick in the head, Andrea.”

Harry picks up the pad and reads it aloud. “Sorry, Olivia,” he whispers to the air. “I don't think you're bad.”

“Don't say sorry to her!” Andrea orders him. “She's trying to manipulate you!!
“Andrea, I think it's best that you leave.”

I can't help but smile and be thankful that he's sticking up for me, but there's something different in this room. There's a coldness, and it's breezy. There's a hint smell of vanilla and lavender...the same smell that arrives when...

I glance around the room and sure enough, there in the corner is that mass inching closer and closer. It's farther away this time, maybe twenty-five feet. Something has set it backwards, and it can't go any further as if I have this ginormous bubble around me. I feel a little relieved since it's not as close.

“Yeah, that's right,” I say to it. “Stay the hell away.”



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