Only Time Will Tell

Caitlyn , 17 , was an ordinary directioner . She grew up with Liam Payne , 1/5 of One Direction . She found love , and much hate through her passion for music , and her close friendship with Liam . But will she make all the right decisions ? Will she fall madly for one of the boys , or her best friend Liam ?

"She loved him , and he loved her , but no one knew , but them . <3"

"Falling, it sometimes hurts, but other times, its the best feeling in the world... even if its for the wrong person."

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44. Let It All Out <\3

Zayn's POV :
Well , I did it . I broke up with her . I couldn't really find the words to say . I didn't want to hurt her , but I didn't love her anymore . If I could , I would . I would love her , and only her . I would make her feel special , make her be happy . Make her be the one that made me happy . But I wasn't a magical wizard that could make things happen . And so I couldn't make us fall in love . I felt so lost . So confused . I didn't know if I was actually in love with Caitlyn . All I knew was that the pain in my chest , that now lingered there all day and all night , flared up 10 times worse when I saw them together . When I saw how happy they were . The pain never left me , it became a part of me . For days it continued . I wondered when it would burn out . When I would burn out . There were so many things I couldnt answer , but yet I continued to ask myself these questions . They were pointless questions that made no sense being in my head . They came and went as they pleased . They came because I knew there wasn't a reason for me to go on . No reason for me to walk downstairs , putting on a fake smile , and eating dinner with them . No reason to act like I was happy with my decisions . No reason to go out to a bar somewhere and try to find love again . No reason to make them think I was gonna be okay . Because somewhere deep inside me , I knew I wouldn't be . 'Why are you still here ?' 'Why don't you go out somewhere and pretend to be happy ?' 'Why don't you go apologize ?' 'Why do you want HER of all people ?' 'Why can't you find someone else ?' Why ? Why , why , why , why , why , why ? I didn't know . That night , she wouldve been out with Caitlin . But Liam wanted to have a lazy day with her . So instead of putting on a tight little black dress , curling her hair , and going out with her best friend , she stayed cuddled up with him on the couch . They watched all kinds of movies . She was such a little kid at heart . After every scary movie , she made him watch a happy movie , like Finding Nemo . It snowed outside , but they stayed warm and happy under a big duvet on the couch . Oh how I envied him . I walked upstairs to my room , then to my bed . I shoved my face into my pillow , and let everything out .
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