Only Time Will Tell

Caitlyn , 17 , was an ordinary directioner . She grew up with Liam Payne , 1/5 of One Direction . She found love , and much hate through her passion for music , and her close friendship with Liam . But will she make all the right decisions ? Will she fall madly for one of the boys , or her best friend Liam ?

"She loved him , and he loved her , but no one knew , but them . <3"

"Falling, it sometimes hurts, but other times, its the best feeling in the world... even if its for the wrong person."

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48. Broken Promises .

I walked to my room slowly, trying to avoid seeing anyone unnecessarily. When I reached my room, Liam was on the bed on his laptop. I sighed unnoticeably, and then went to 'take a shower'. I ran the water slightly too hot, and locked the door . I stripped down to just my underwear and my bra. I stared at myself in the mirror, frowning. Why would anyone want me? Why would someone as amazingly handsome and wonderful as Zayn Malik, or Liam Payne even want me? I was so...ugly. I wasn't too bright either. I decided to just get in the shower, so I stepped in and let the hot water run all over my body. Then I began to think. I thought of the first time I kissed Liam...in the 7th grade. Then when he kissed me in front of his car at McDonald's that night of the concert. Then every other time after that...how I couldn't stop the kiss, because I always wanted more...how much he loved when I nibbled very gently on his bottom lip...how he would move his head down to place it on my forehead when he broke the kiss... It was so intense. I loved him so much, and I always have.
But then the way Zayn wasn't afraid to slip his tongue into my mouth, and kiss me like we'd known each other forever, was so sexy. Also, when he told me his feelings, and he was so honest, it made me more attracted to him. It didn't make sense how I could simply fall for him when I already loved Liam. No sense at all .
Before I knew it I was on the floor of the shower, crying my eyes out. They would absolutely hate me if I chose the other. I couldnt let them hate me...maybe...maybe I should just do them a favor, and just go die in a hole.
Caitlyn. The razor. My mind forced me to look up at the line of razors above my head. I wasn't thinking straight. I reached up and grabbed a purple one.
Then i was doing what I promised I'd never do again.
I had 5 slits going up both of my wrists, and 3 or 4 on each of my upper thighs. They made the water running off of my arms and legs turn red, and my tears fell into it. Everytime a tear fell onto my skin, it burnt. It burnt like being touched by a white-hot curling iron, although the water coming from the showerhead was icey cold now.
"Baby?" Liam shouted from outside the door.
"Um *cough* yes Liam?" I shouted back, worried he'd ask for entrance.
"Babe what's going on, you've been in the shower over an hour....?" He wondered curiously.
"Erm....I....I just, I don't feel too great....Erm, ill be out in like 5 minutes!" I yelled, trying to be convincing.
"Okay, babe." He said.
I stepped out of the shower and dried my cuts with a separate towel than the rest of my body. I slipped into a mid length dress, with a long sleeved cover up on the top.
Then...I walked out.
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