You're My Light

When Zayn stumbles upon a girl who has many secrets and cuts herself he decides to take her in. She doesn't trust him at first and is quick to try to escape. But he keeps her firmly trying to protect from herself. As she realizes she can overcome the hurt, the two fall for each other. Then a horrible event occurs, but the boys don't see it as too tragic. Will her secrets all be revealed? Only Zayn can bring the light back to her darkness and vanquish the evils that haunt her.

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39. Processing

Once she's gone I continue to sit there. My legs refuse to move as my brain begins to process all of the information. I suddenly remember that my tea is still on so I force my feet to get up and shift down the stairs. I walk into the kitchen and pour my tea into a cup before turning off the stove. 

On my way back to the room I'm staying in, I see Zayn laying on the couch. He has a blanket over him but looks very uncomfortable. "Zayn?" I ask him.

"Yes luv?" He questions, looking up at me.

"You can sleep in your room," I tell him.

"That's okay. You're sleeping in there," He says.

"I can take a guest bedroom. It's your room Zayn," I respond, walking over to him and ripping the blanket off of him. 

"You aren't going to let this go are you?" He groans. I shake my head. "Then I'm kicking you out of the bed," He argues.

"So don't," I reply softly. He doesn't catch on at first. 

"How can I sleep in the bed and not kick you ou- Ohh," He finally realizes it. "Sure. I don't mind sharing if it's okay with you," He says.

"Of course it's okay with me, it was my idea," I say softly. I begin to walk upstairs, not looking back to see if he's behind me or not.

I climb into the bed without saying a word, and smile on the inside slightly when he climbs in on the other side. I turn away from him and close my eyes, feeling safe and comfy here right now.

***

In the morning I move to shift and get up, but something is holding me where I am. I open my eyes and see myself up against Zayn with his arms wrapped around me. His face is buried between a pillow and my neck. 

You have to kiss him. A voice in my head tells me. I have no clue where it comes from, but I honestly feel like kissing him will benefit me in some way. Another voice in my head however, says that right now isn't the time so I just watch him sleep, enjoying the comfort and warmth literally radiating off of Zayn.

After a little while I unhook his arms from around my waist gently and get out of the bed quietly. I make my way downstairs and into the kitchen. As I enter the kitchen my eyes wander it and land upon a drawer. For some reason I feel pulled to the drawer.

Slowly I walk over to it and open it. Inside there is silverware - including knives. Automatically my hand reaches for something and I end up grabbing a sharp knife. My hand pulls out holding it and I just look at it.

Everything runs through my mind from who the hell is Josh to the memory of my parents dying. Part of me from somewhere deep inside tells me that the knife can make everything go away. Slowly I drag the knife across my wrist and red appears. 

"Date is not information, information is not knowledge, knowledge is not understanding, understanding is not wisdom,"

 

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