You're My Light

When Zayn stumbles upon a girl who has many secrets and cuts herself he decides to take her in. She doesn't trust him at first and is quick to try to escape. But he keeps her firmly trying to protect from herself. As she realizes she can overcome the hurt, the two fall for each other. Then a horrible event occurs, but the boys don't see it as too tragic. Will her secrets all be revealed? Only Zayn can bring the light back to her darkness and vanquish the evils that haunt her.


34. Perrie

As soon as I re enter the club I look to our table. I see only Zayn there, but with a girl that I don't recognize. As I walk closer, I see them kiss. I stop dead in my tracks. After a second they stop and Zayn looks to me. Tears in my eyes are forming but I refuse to let them spill over once again. I rush to the dance floor and grab Eleanor's hand, towing her away and out of the club, back to Zayn's flat. 

"What's wrong?" Eleanor questions as I pick up our speed. 

"Zayn tried to kiss me when we were slow dancing and for some reason I just couldn't so I went outside to keep from crying which once again I don't know why and then I came inside and saw Zayn kissing some other girl!" I exclaim, my voice cracking. 

"Oh honey," She says, wrapping an arm around my back as we reach Zayn's flat. Automatically I reach down under the place mat and grab a spare key. I stand back up and insert it into the lock. "Woah. How did you know where he keeps his spare? I didn't even know where it was," Eleanor is practically in shock. 

I shrug, not wanting to think about that right now. I push the door open with her right behind me. "CHARLOTTE!" Someone screams my name. I turn to see Zayn running towards his flat. 

"Eleanor help," I whimper.

"Just hear him out. I'm sure you didn't see what you think," She advises. I bite my lip and nod. She enters his flat and closes it halfway. 

"It wasn't what it looked like," Zayn says immediately as soon as he gets up the steps. I sigh, refusing to let the tears fall down my cheeks. 

"What's her name Zayn?" I snap. He reaches for my hand but I don't let him grab it. 

"Perrie," He says. 

"Why were you kissing Perrie Zayn?" I ask. 

"You wouldn't let me kiss you," He growls, suddenly angry. I step closer to him and slap him across the face. 

"You KNOW that is because I don't have my fucking memory to know if I actually fucking love you or whatever! And just because you can't kiss one girl doesn't mean you kiss another!!!" I scream in his face. I mentally yell at myself because a tear slips down my face. I push open the door and head upstairs, even though I know Zayn is right behind me.

"Charlotte wait. I didn't kiss her," He pleads, no longer angry.

"Oh so placing your lips against another girl's lips isn't kissing?" I growl, grabbing a bag and beginning to shove clothes in it. 

"Charlotte," He says again, grabbing my arms in his hands, gently but firmly. 

"Get off of me," I growl. 

"She kissed me. Just give me a minute to explain." He begs. I look into his eyes, unsure.

"You get thirty seconds. And let go," I snap. He lets go of my hands and sits on the bed. 

"Perrie and I dated a couple of months ago. I didn't really love her so I broke up with her. Tonight she saw me - and she was wasted. She came onto me and kissed me. I pulled her off of me and saw you staring. You didn't see what you thought you did," He rushes to explain it all. 

"But you said it was because I wouldn't let you kiss me," I counter, not allowing myself to just stop being mad. 

"No. I said you wouldn't let me kiss you. I didn't say it as a reason for kissing Perrie. I was just upset that you didn't let me kiss you and I wanted you to know," He argues.

"So you saying that had nothing to do with Perrie?" I question. He nods. "Well you have no right to be upset about me not letting you kiss me!" I exclaim standing up again. 

"I deserved it when you slapped me," He states quietly. I nod in agreement. "I'm sorry I freaked out on you. I just can't have you upset," He says.

"Why because then I'll go back to cutting?" I snap and he flinches at the word. "That's right Zayn. Scared of me CUTTING?" I emphasize the C word. "I'm not the fragile girl that you found in an alley who lost her parents and was abused for almost a year! I have scars but that's what they are. From the past. Josh is in my past. And if you can't get over that and see me now, then I can't see you," I exclaim. 

"Wait. Go back. What'd you say?" He asks. I think back to what I said and can't even remember. 

"Um... I don't know," I say honestly, but hate admitting it.

"I'm sorry. Be mad at me; go ahead. But please, please don't leave," He replies, motioning to the bag. 

"Fine. But give me time alone," I spit through gritted teeth. He sighs and nods, stepping out of HIS bedroom and walking down the stairs. I collapse on the bed and just try to think. 

One thing that sticks out to me is that I am happy that she kissed him instead of him kissing her. I close my eyes and try to concentrate on just my breathing. My brain becomes clearer - the alcohol fading. I stand up and walk out to the deck that connects to Zayn's room. 

"Whatever you decide to do, make sure it makes you happy,"


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