You're My Light

When Zayn stumbles upon a girl who has many secrets and cuts herself he decides to take her in. She doesn't trust him at first and is quick to try to escape. But he keeps her firmly trying to protect from herself. As she realizes she can overcome the hurt, the two fall for each other. Then a horrible event occurs, but the boys don't see it as too tragic. Will her secrets all be revealed? Only Zayn can bring the light back to her darkness and vanquish the evils that haunt her.

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33. Clubbing...

We walk into the club and I'm bombarded with loud music and the smell of alcohol. I take a deep breath in. I can do this. I tell myself. 

I walk straight to the bar and order a shot of whiskey and a shot of vodka. I run them down my throat quickly and order a fruity margarita to dull the sting in my throat. "I certainly don't remember you drinking like this," Zayn says, coming up behind me.

"The night hasn't even started yet Zayn," I smile, going to sit with the rest of the group. He comes to sit down with the group as well, coming back with beers for all of the guys. 

We all talk for a while with each other - I'm trying to re-get to know the boys. "Eleanor is the only person that you'd ever listen to," Zayn says, chiming in. I am talking to Eleanor about how she was my friend when I ran away from home. 

"It was only because I guilted you into it," She laughs.

"Yeah! You did. All of the time," I reply. Everyone looks at me. I think about what I just said. "I have no idea where that came from," I say trying to follow the thought back to its place, but not succeeding. 

"It's okay, the doctor said it might only come back in pieces. It's a good sign," Belle tells me, comfortingly placing her hand on my arm. I nod, trying to think through my memories. A heating pain hits my leg and I look down to see Zayn's hand resting against my leg, but he doesn't seem to notice. 

"I'm going to go get a beer. Anyone want one?" I ask them. Everyone except for Liam and Emily raise their hands. I go up to the bar and get eight beers on a tray and bring them back to the table, passing them out to everyone. 

"You drink beer?" Zayn asks.

"Yeah! Don't be sexist. It's not very attractive on you," I say smiling. A smile forms on his lips as he shakes his head. 

We sit and sip our beers, keeping up with the small talk. After a while, I finish my beer and slide it to the middle of the table. "I'm going to dance," I announce, beginning to slide out of the booth. "Care to join me Zayn?" I question him, but don't give him time to reply before grabbing his hand and dragging him out to the dance floor.

"How intoxicated are you?" He asks. 

"Just a little," I lie, pinching my fingers together and smirking. We dance for a while to stupid songs that I don't recognize. Zayn refuses to grind with me, but it makes sense because we aren't really in a good position to do this if I wake up in the morning and accuse it never happened. 

A slow song comes on and I begin to walk off of the dance floor. Zayn catches my hand, and I turn to look at him. "May I have this dance?" He asks politely. I smile and nod, allowing him to pull me back to him.

I wrap my arms around his neck and places his hands on my waist. I'm debating how I feel about this in my mind. I bite my lip and look over to the table to see no one sitting down. I look around the dance floor and see Liam dancing with Danielle, Louis with Eleanor, Harry with Emily, and Niall with Belle. I raise my eyebrows, never thinking about if my best friend and sister liked the boys that way.

"You okay?" Zayn's voice is low and tense as if he expects me to run away screaming.

"Um yeah. I'm just making sure this is in my comfort zone," I reply, returning my gaze to Zayn. His eyes are a warm chocolate brown that seem to melt as I continue to look into them. 

"Is it?" He whispers. I nod and move my hands together. The song continues, and I rest my head against his shoulder for a couple of seconds. As the song comes to a close I bring my head back up and our eyes meet again. 

Slowly he leans down. Fuck. He's going to kiss me. I tell myself. "This isn't though," I say quietly, barely hanging onto my calm, as I release my grip around his neck and blink back tears, heading for the exit. I didn't know why I was crying or why I wouldn't let him kiss me. But for some reason, I couldn't handle it and now I barely had enough control to make it out of the club without breaking down. 

I duck into the alley, careful to check for potential rapists and when I find none I rest against the wall and let silent tears fall down my cheeks. I take deep breaths, attempting to calm myself. After a couple of breaths I can stop the tears and wipe my eyes. 

I still didn't understand why I wouldn't let Zayn kiss me, but I know I have to go back inside. 

I head back in, but I immediately want to head back out because of the sight that I see.

"There's no fun in a perfect life.So make a risk. Take a chance. Go where the wind takes you. Have fun."

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