You're My Light

When Zayn stumbles upon a girl who has many secrets and cuts herself he decides to take her in. She doesn't trust him at first and is quick to try to escape. But he keeps her firmly trying to protect from herself. As she realizes she can overcome the hurt, the two fall for each other. Then a horrible event occurs, but the boys don't see it as too tragic. Will her secrets all be revealed? Only Zayn can bring the light back to her darkness and vanquish the evils that haunt her.


12. Clubbing?

Charlotte POV

          When I woke up, I heard voices in the kitchen. I heard all of the boys and Eleanor talking as I approached. They were planning out tomorrow; at the concert. I went in, trying to show no evidence of my break down from before. But the concert was touchy with me because I was going to meet Belle for the first time in over a month. 

          Zayn caught that I was tense so he "helped" my fingers relax. When Niall said he wanted someone to go with him to Nandos I volunteered. Eleanor and I were communicating with facial expressions and Zayn had my hand in his so I jumped at the chance; even though I didn't want to be alone with Niall. Eleanor had asked (non-verbally) if I was okay and I nodded. Zayn was trying to make me relax which caused me to get wired up even more.

         I was surprised when Zayn didn't protest me going out with Niall. I hoped he would've at least gotten jealous a little bit. But he didn't so I tried to shake it off. On the ride to Nandos, Niall told me about his life growing up and I believe most of it was baloney. "I do believe that's not true," I said to him, holding back a smile.

         "Well of course it is! Why would I lie about going to Canada?" He asked, laughing.

         "I'm sorry. It just isn't plausible," I smiled. He looked over and stopped laughing.

         "You have a nice smile," He complimented me.

         "Thanks. So you're telling me, that your brother Greg traveled to the moon and brought you back a lunar rock?" I questioned.

          He nodded but started laughing so I knew he was lying. I playfully hit his shoulder and started laughing. He ordered the food at Nandos and we continued talking. He asked me about my old life and I told him it was complicated. "I won't press you if you don't want to talk about it. But if you do I don't judge," He told me.

          "I'd rather not right now," I responded. It was silent for a moment. "Can I ask you about Zayn?" I inquired.

          "Okay. What would you like to know?" He asked, eager to continue the conversation. 

          "Does he...have a lot of one night stands?" I questioned. The food came out so we grabbed it and walked back to the car. Niall looked unsure of what to tell me. "Niall if this is about my cutting I don't care if you think it will hurt me. But I need to know the future,"

          "A couple of months ago, yes. He would get drunk because he was alone and have a one night stand with many girls. On top of that, he would go off again and on again with a girl named Perrie. They would be fine one night and the next she would go off on him. He would get drunk, she would come back, and the cycle continued. Two weeks ago Zayn told her that they were done for good. He was fed up with it all and left her. For all of last week he was drunk. The day he found you was the day he had slept at his parents house. I think he was on his way home when he got you and took you in." Niall explained.

          I breathed in deeply trying to figure everything out as Niall drove back to Zayn's flat. "So am I the rebound girl?" I whispered after a little while.

          "Honestly?" Niall asked. I nodded. "I thought that you were, at first. But then, seeing the way he looks at you, and acts around you...I don't think so anymore. Now I think you're the only girl," He replied mystically.

          "What about his eyes? Sometimes they turn hard and scary," I inquired.

          "Zayn's eyes change when he gets upset. When he really cares deeply for something you'll know when his eyes go hard. Basically when his emotions are to the extreme, they change," Niall shrugged. "My mum was in this club when she was in high school," He said trying to change the subject. "They have this secret place dedicated to them and only their children know about it," Niall continued.

          "Oh really now. Because I'm going to believe that after your earlier stories," I smiled.

          "No I'm serious now. But my mum only let's me go there a couple of times. She thinks that people will destroy the good," He said and started to laugh manically. I began to laugh along with him and we reached Zayn's flat. Still giggling, we climbed out of the car and into the house.

          As soon as we got inside I took off towards the kitchen so that we could all eat. Niall and I started to unload all of the food and everyone else followed. I was thinking about how many one night stands Zayn had had when something caught my eye. I froze, trying to figure out how I could get to the knives without anyone stopping me. But as I reached for them someone grabbed me. Out of the corner of my eye I saw it was Zayn.

           I fought Zayn so that he would let me go and that I could get to the knives. "Charlotte look at me. Look at me love," He told me. I tore my eyes away from the knives and reluctantly met Zayn's gaze. I felt like I was going to die because of everything going on. Tears pooled in my eyes as I waited for them to spill over. Zayn pulled me against him and I wrapped my arms around him.

           He tried not to make a big deal of getting everyone out of the kitchen. Zayn pulled me back a little so that he could look at me. He assured me everything was okay and said that I could handle this even though I knew I couldn't. I said that I didn't want to go out there because I didn't want to face the others but Zayn said that they understood. I knew that Niall and Eleanor understood now. But I wasn't sure about the others.

           My gaze traveled to the knives again because I didn't want to hear about it from Zayn. He pointed to the food and blocked my view of the knives, forcing me to not look at the empty bags from Nandos. As I made my plate I told Zayn about why I was laughing.

          When we got our plates we went out to the living room. He left a space for me on the couch but I just wanted to sit on the floor. I was confused about myself and Zayn. Oh hell with it. I thought to myself and slid closer to Zayn when I was finished.

          He wrapped an arm around me and I felt comforted a little. As we watched the movie I tried to organize my thoughts. I liked Zayn. I think Zayn liked me. Zayn wanted me to stop cutting. I couldn't possibly stop cutting. Zayn had many one night stands. I had no one night stands. Zayn saved me today. I ran away from him. 

          All of it was so confusing and I didn't think I could handle it all. Soon I was going to get really, really desperate and weak. But I promised Zayn I wouldn't leave tonight. Other than that, I didn't know if I would be able to stay. I wanted to...but I definitely wouldn't be able to handle keeping secrets from Zayn along with everyone else.

          And what would happen with Belle? Would I be able to handle THAT? What if she ended up begging me to come home? I wouldn't be able to. And what if she told my aunt who I was staying with? Or threatened me to tell her why I left? I really missed Belle and....the others. But I couldn't go back at least until I realized how to handle the secrets.

         The movie ended and we all sat in silence. "Do you have any alcohol mate?" Harry asked, stretching.

         "Yes. But why don't we go out instead of staying here?" Zayn suggested. I bit my lip, thinking about it. I moved away from Zayn as Niall went to turn the light on.

         "Sure," Everyone agreed. Zayn looked at me to see my input.

         "Why not?" I tried to make my voice sound light.

         "Great! Let's go get ready!" Eleanor exclaimed jumping up. I let her lead me upstairs to one of the guest bedrooms. There sitting all over the room, were the bags from earlier today when I had left her. She began looking through some bags and put a select few on the bed. I rumaged through them and took the contents out. "Okay so which dress do you want to wear?" She asked me excitedly. She laid out four dresses. The first dress had one strap and was a deep purple. The second dress was a soft pink that was strapless and the front came together in the front. The third dress was black and simple; it had both straps and an open back. And the last dress, was another strapless dress that was aquamarine and a soft gold covering it. The dress had a sash of beads on the top and on the midsection. I was mesmorized by all four.

         "Pick for me. I don't want to choose," I told her, closing my eyes.

         "Okay," She said simply and placed a dress in my arms. I opened my eyes and found the fourth dress in my hands. 

         "And which one will you wear?" I asked. She pointed to the pink one. We both turned away from each other so that we could put our dresses on. Mine puffed out at the waist a little and ended at my knees. I felt pretty in this dress and just like how I used to. "Wait! What about my wrist?" I questioned Eleanor.

         "I picked up bracelets for you," She answered pulling out silver bangles and helping me to slip them on my arm. She also pulled out a bunch of make-up and I bit my lip again debating.

         "It's been so long since I've worn make-up," I whispered, tentatively touching the containers of eye shadow, liner, blush, concealer, and lip gloss.

         "You don't have to. I normally only use blush and gloss myself," She said. I scooped up all of products and moved to the mirror. 

         "Can I do your make-up?" I asked her hopefully. She smiled and nodded, walking over to me and sitting in a chair. I applied the make-up, adding a rose colored blush, grey liner, and a soft pink shadow that matched her dress. Then I put on a deep pink lip gloss and blew a kiss to her, signifying that I was done.

         "Oh my gosh! This is amazing!" She cheered as she gazed at herself and I began to do my make-up. I put on deep rose colored blush similar to Eleanor's, aqua  liner, gold shadow, and simple chapstick. Eleanor watched in awe and I looked in the mirror. I looked just the same as I had a couple of years ago when I was happy all of the time. My brown hair and blue eyes looked decent with the dress and I experimented a smile. "You...could be a model," Eleanor said, looking at my reflection with me. 

          I shook my head. "No thanks," I replied turning to look at her. She held out a pair of gold heels that were 5 inches. She had silver matching ones on. I slipped them on and stood up. 

          "Voila," She laughed. She handed me a blue hand purse. I opened it and it had a cell phone and money in it. It also had my ID in it.

          "Did you go through my bag?" I asked enraged.

          "No. It fell out when I moved it earlier," She explained, placing a comforting hand on my bare shoulder. She pulled me into a hug and I laughed because it was awkward. "You should smile more often. It's very pretty,"

          I shrugged. "Are we ready?" I questioned.

          "Yup. The boys have probably been waiting forever now," She giggled. Her phone buzzed and she picked it up. She talked for a couple of minutes and then hung up. "Danielle is going to meet us at the club," She said. I nodded and we opened the door. 

           "I'll be down in a sec." I told her. She nodded and began the walk downstairs. I stepped into the bathroom and took a deep breath. I was ready to fall apart because I hadn't looked this way in a long time - since before my parents died. I practiced smiling and figured it wouldn't be a big deal as soon as I was drunk. 

           Mentally I thanked Eleanor for stocking my purse with money and thought about how I'd buy a LOT of alcohol tonight. Taking one last deep breath, I left the bathroom and started to walk down the stairs.

"The way you smile at the ground, it ain't hard to tell; you don't know you're beautiful,"

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