Letting Go

Alex has been in love with Niall since they were twelve years old. Little does Alex know that he feels the same. Will they finally become a couple? Will Niall's upcoming fame tear them apart? Will this turn into a happy ending, or become and unforgettable tragedy?

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7. Just The Begginning

A few months passed and the boys go on tour in America. I glance at my phone and see I have a message from Niall. My face lights up as I open the message. The text reads:

"Hey babe, I'm about to go on stage I'll text you in a few hours xx" I smile and reply.

"Okay Niall, love you(:"
I go downstairs and get greeted by my roommate Brenda,

"Want some tea?" she asks as she sets a pot full of water on the stove.

"Yeah, I'd love some." I say walking into the bathroom. I walk over to the shower and start the water as I take off my clothes. I finish showering and step out wrapping my hair in a towel. I look at myself in the mirror, glancing at my stomach. I place my hand just over my navel, my stomach feels harder than usual. I don't think to much of it and put on my clothes.
I exit the bathroom to see Brenda on the couch sipping her tea and staring into the tv. I walk over to what I assume is my cup. I can see steam escaping the top and twirling into the air as it vanishes. I grab the cup and walk over to the couch.

"Are you feeling okay?" Brenda asks with a concerned look on her face.
For the past week or so I've been getting so nauseous and vomiting. I must have eaten something bad. I stand up and my shirt rises up a bit.

"Have you put on some weight Alex?" I look down at my stomach to see it sticking out more than it used too.

"Perhaps" I say tugging my shirt down.

"You couldn't be..." Brenda asks trailing of mid sentence.

"Pregnant? Of course not." I assure her. Although I didn't know for sure, and quite frankly the thought frightened me. I mean, I haven't had my period since the insident with Harry. I was beginning to think to hard, and it worried me. Harry was the last person I've slept with. The thought brought tears to my eyes. I had to know for sure. I got dressed and walked to the drug store. I looked through the aisles at all the pregnancy tests. It felt weird weird being here, what if the paparazzi cought me here. What would Niall think? He'd know for sure I cheated. I picked up a box that looked promising. I cleared my throat and walked over to the check out stand. The female cashier look and me and smiled.

"Aren't you the girlfriend of Niall Horan?" she asked. She looked a bit younger so I wasn't shocked that she knew who he was. I hesitated to answer but cleared my throat and replied with a smile.

"Yes." I answered. She bagged the test and smiled at me. Hope everything goes great with you guys. I thank her and walk out the store.
As soon as I get home I toss my purse and my keys at the table next to the couch and rush over to the bathroom. I take the pink box out of the bag and open it. I sigh, here we go. I unwrap the test and sit on the toilet. I urinated on the test and put then blue cap back on the tip. I set the test on the counter and just sat there, waiting. My stomach was in knots and I felt as if I was gonna throw up. Two lines equals positive, one is negative. I think to myself. I check my watch and swallow nervously. I take the test from the counter to see one line starting to fill in. I close my eyes wishing on everything another line would not appear. I breathe in deeply and decide to open my eyes. I look down at the test and my heart drops. Tears waterfall down my face as I stare at the two lines displayed on the test.
I don't know what to do at this moment, Niall is gonna be home in two weeks. I could be showing even more than it already is by then. Thoughts racing through my head, I hear a knock at the door.

"Alex, you okay in there?" I try to speak, but my words just won't come out.

"y-yeah... I'm fine" I say. She knew something was up. Brenda opened the door to see me sitting on the bathroom floor with my back against the tub. She see's the tears in my eyes and scans down the see the test on the floor. Everything happens so quickly, and everything just feels so un real. I try hiding the test but she grabs before I could.

"Alex.. You're pregnant? Congratulations!" I begin to cry and she looks so confused.

"what's wrong?" she asks.

"You have to promise to keep a secret." I say wiping away my tears.

"Of course" she says as she sits next to me.

"A few months ago when me and Niall first started dating.. I slept with Harry and he didn't use protection. And I know it's not Niall's because we haven't slept together yet." Brenda, with her hands over her mouth, looked frozen. "Please do not tell anybody" I beg beginning to cry again.

"Secrets safe with me." She says giving me a hug.
I stood up and so did she. We both walked to the living where my I could hear my phone ringing. I froze as I looked at the caller ID, it was Niall. I cleared my throat and answered the phone.

"Hello?" I say.

"Hey babe, you wouldn't believe what happened on stage today!" he shouted excitingly.

"what happened?" I say chuckling.

"Two girls rushed on stage and nearly attacked Harry!"

"No way!" I say trying to sound interested. Niall laughs.

"I'll talk to you later babe, I love you." I say goodbye and hang up the phone.
Two weeks pass and the boys are expected back in a few hours. I get all dolled up to finally see my boyfriend. It's been over 7 months sinces I've seen him. I lift up my pink shirt to see my stomach sticking out. It was clearly obvious I was pregnent. I put my shirt down and my stomach sank as my baby bump showed clearly threw my shirt. I walk to my closet and slip on a ruffled shirt that hid my stomach. I applied my make up and worked my hair into soft curls. I grabbed my purse and headed out to greet Niall at the airport. I get to the airport and instantly see paparazzi snapping pictures like crazy. I see Niall and run up to him pecking his lips. He grabs my hand as him and the rest of the boys pile into my jeep. As soon as we get home the boys collapse on the couch. Already, I see Harry staring at me. I had to tell him, but not just yet. Niall picks me up and spins me around giving me a big kiss. I missed his kisses so much and I cherrished them. It could be the last. The thoughts worried me. I looked over to Harry and look down. I sit on the couch, hoping nobody would notice my obvious baby bump. My heart starts pounding to the thoughts of everyone noticing, I look around at everyone. I stare at the floor shaking, I grew more and more paranoid by the second. Without thinking I look over to Harry and ask him,

"Can we talk?" I can't believe I'm doing this, this soon anyways.

"Yeah." he says I get up and lead him to the extra guest room. I close the door behind us and look at Harry shaking.

"What's up beautiful?" he asks. I step over and sit next to him on the bed. I take a deep breath and sigh.

"Harry, I don't know how to say this, but.." I stop and just look at him, I couldn't finish my sentence. Tears came streaming down my face.

"Alex tell me" He demands looking into my eyes. I begin to cry and just tell him everything.

"I-I'm pregnant Harry, and it's yours." I look at Harry and he just looks stuck. His face looks pale and he runs hands through his curls.

"Well, are going to keep it?" My tears stop and I just look at him in shock.

"What kind of question of question is that? Of course I'm keeping it!" I say to him as I stand up not realizing my shirt rose up.

"Woah, how far along are you?" he asks looking at my belly. I quickly pull down my shirt.

"About six months." I say holding my stomach.

"When are you going to tell Niall?" Harry asks looking at me.

"I dunno" I say sitting back on the bed.

"Well are you going to stay with him? Even though that would be a bit awkward since you're having my child." I just look at him unsure what to say next.

"I just.. I'm not sure!" I say and storm out the room.

"Hey let's all go to Nandos?" Niall suggests with a smile on his face. We all agree and pile in the car. It was a quiet drive all the way there. Niall held my hand the whole ride over there. I had to tell him soon, he's gonna find out sooner or later. I mean, I can't wear this shirt forever. He's going to see my bump tonight when I get changed for bed. I try not to think about it as we pull up to the parking lot at Nandos. We all get in and are quickly seated at a large round table. I couldn't help but notice Niall looking at my stomach. What if he could tell? What if he's noticed this whole time. So many thoughts scrambled through my brain.
An hour or so passed and we all got into the car to go back to my place. I have to tell Niall, I said in my mind. He has to know as soon as possible. We pull up to my apartment and unload out of my car. I struggle getting out of the car because of my stomach. Harry spots me and holds my hand as I step down.

"Thanks" I say smiling at him.

"Don't want to put my un born child in danger" he jokes.

"Shhhhh!" I say looking around to see if Niall was anywhere in sight.
We all walk into the house and I pull Niall into my room without saying a word.

"What's going on?" Niall says with a smirk. I close the door and rush over to the bed.

"Why in such a rush to get to bed?" He says winking at me.

"Niall, I-I'm pregnant." My stomach drops, I can't believe I just said it. Niall just stops in his place, frozen.

"W-what? That's impossible Alex we've never had sex?" I start to cry when I hear his words.

"It's not yours Niall.." Tears fill Nialls eyes.

"Who?" He says as a tear falls down his cheeks. He sits on the bed with his hand over his mouth. Tears started streaming down his face, only making me cry harder than ever before. I sit next him and just cry.

"Harry" I say choking on my words. Niall loses it and begins to sob hysterically.

"My Bestfriend?" he says looking at me with tears shooting down his cheeks. I cry harder than ever before and just lean on his shoulder. He shrugs me off and stands up.

"Niall... I love you so much." I say to him. He tears suddenly stop and he storms out the room and I quickly follow him.
He walks in front of Harry whose leaning against the wall chatting with Louis.

"You back stabbing son of a bitch!" He shouts at the top of his lungs. The room grows quiet and every stops and stares.

"How could you get my girlfriend pregnant! Out of the girls you could easily have, why Alex?" Zayn,Louis, and Liam look at me in disbelief.

"Woah, Niall calm down.." Harry gets cut off by Niall.

"Don't fucking tell me to calm down Harry, don't just shrug this off like its no big deal like you do to everything!" Niall yells.

"Niall stop!" I cry.

"Stay out of this Alex!" Niall yells at me.

"Hey! Don't talk to her like that, and I didn't plan for all this to happen!" Harry screams back to Niall.

"What did you think was going to happen when you got my girlfriend in bed?"

"I wasn't thinking.." Harry says looking at the floor.

"I can't deal with this right now!" Niall shouts and walks out the door. With all eyes on me I chase after him. I catch up him and grab his arm.

"Niall wait!" I say.

"Don't touch me Alex!"


"Niall stop please! You're overreacting! Let's go back and talk about this inside!"

Niall calms down a little bit and just starts to cry.

"Niall.. I'm so sorry" I say as I start to sob.

"Are you going to keep it?" Niall says wiping a tear.

"Of course I am" I say looking into his eyes.


"Then we can't be together." I collapse onto the ground to his words. My life just crumpled to pieces.

"Please don't say that Niall" I cry.

"I'm sorry Alex. I can't do this anymore."
I just there on the porch, motionless. I get up and run to my room and just start crying uncontrollably. What am I going to do? So many thoughts ran through my head. I stopped and thought to myself. I thought about suicide.. I walked over to my dresser and opened the last drawer where I kept an old blade from when I was in highschool. I haven't cut in years. I grabbed the blade and just sat against the wall, questioning wether I should do this. Wether I should kill myself along with my un born child. It seemed like the right thing to do at the moment. I held the blade to my wrist and took a deep breath. Here I go I whispered. Suddenly someone barged throught the door. It was Niall,

"Alex, what the fuck are you doing? Give me that right now!" He says grabbing the blade from my hands.

"How could you even think of doing something so stupid?"

"Why do you care? You don't care about me anymore" I shout to him.

"Alex, are you crazy? I'm in love with you. I just can't be with you as long as you're having Harry's baby." I couldn't take this any more.

"I can't live like this Niall." I whisper looking at the ground. Niall holds me.

"It's okay, we'll find a way through this. I promise." I cry in his arms, and he puts me on the bed and lays beside me.

"I'm sorry for how I reacted Alex. It's really late, we can talk about this tomorrow." I sniffle and roll over to face him.

"I love you Niall." I say looking in his eyes.

"I love you to Alex....." I begin to drift off after I hear his words.
For a second, everything felt like it was okay. Although I knew this was just the beginning of my troubles.

 

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