Hate To Love You

Sequel to I'm In Love With You


2. Smell of Vanilla

*Harry's POV*

I walked down the deserted, dark street quickly, trying to find my destination soon so I could get the hell out of there. I did't like this but I had no choice. If I wanted what I needed, I had to do this. I kept my head down and kept walking, soon arriving at an old shitty motel. I slipped through the gate and crossed the empty courtyard, passing the pool, and heading to the staircase. I quietly went up the cold metal stairs, then turning to the right, looking for room number 113. I took a deep breathe when I reached the door, then knocked four times, like I had been told.

"Name." I deep voice demanded.

"Um..Harry Styles." The door then opened immediately. They must have known I was a high paying customer. This was the first time I had to come directly to the dealer. I usually just got my stuff from the pushers, the people who sold on the streets. But I was well known and respected because everyone knew I meant business, and I would pay almost any price to get what I needed. 

There was a package laying on the ratty bed and I knew it was mind. I laid what I owed on the bed beside it and then slowly picked up the package. No one said anything, until I had almost reached the door. 

"Mr. Styles." A raspy voice called behind me. I turned and a man cam through a door, wearing a threadbare suit. This was the dealer. "I am awfully sorry about your girl. She was a pretty one. Too young to go." There was a silent pause and I maintained eye contact, not wanting to seem weak. "Just wanted to offer my personal condolences." I dropped my eyes and nodded my head in thanks before opening the door and hauling ass back the my car, then driving back to NYC from Jersey City.

I got back to the flat that had once been hers and I snuck into what had been her bedroom. I layed the package on the bed and opened it quietly. There were quite a few pill bottles, syringes, rubber tubing, lighters, and even a few spoons. This hadn't been cheap, about $700. But I was willing to pay anything to escape this pain right now. I opened a pill bottle and took 2 codeine pills, forcing myself to go to sleep. A dreamless sleep. I wished I could sleep forever, like her. But I knew I couldn't just do that. It had been a little over a month since she had left me and I was still trying to cope with this pain. 

I had been into drugs since she had died, first prescription pills, then slowly moving into harder stuff. I was going to try smack soon, anything that would help me feel better or help me forget. But I would have to wait until I was alone to try that because I didn't know how I'd react to it and I didn't want to scare the boys, or let them know that I really wasn't alright like I convinced them I was. 

I took off my shirt and pants and climbed into what had been her bed, where she had her last moments. I could still smell her in the sheets, the slight scent of vanilla. A few tears slipped unwillingly from my eyes, down my cheeks and onto my chin. I closed my eyes and drifted off into a peaceful sleep.





(A/N) Hi so i'm REALLLLLLLY sorry I haven't updated anything in a while, and I'm sorry if this chapter kinda sucks. I wrote it like 2 weeks ago but the website froze and I lost everything and I haven't really been in a writing mood much since. I did update the Larry fanfic, and I hoped you guys liked it. I like where it's going :P

Just so you know, smack refers to heroin. Codeine is an opiate, it's a narcotic pain killer used for moderate pain. and it causes drowsiness. My little sister had it when she was in the hospital so i know about that one :P

None of this drug stuff (except for the codeine) is from personal experience or anything, i've just googled stuff and kinda made a little up. 

I hope you guys like it so far, it's kinda going to be crazy :)

if you want to read something similar, read Go Ask Alice by Anonymous. It's a great book. 

Anyways, I love you all, thanks for reading! :) x

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