Hate To Love You

Sequel to I'm In Love With You

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4. Dreaming

She looked exactly like she did when we first met. Black dress. High heels. Half up-half down hair. She looked so beautiful and so sad, like she was going to cry.

"Harry, my Harry. You can't keep doing this, you'll die."

"What if I want to die?" I asked her.

"No, you don't. You don't want to die and deep down you know that too."

"You're wrong, Sam. I do. I want to die. I want to be with you again. I miss you so much, nothing is the same with you gone. I just can't keep going on like this. You're all I think about."

"Harry, live for the boys. What would they do if something happened to you? What would Louis do without his bestfriend? They would all be so devastated and crushed. It's only been 2 months since I died. You can't leave them, especially now. They need you and you need them. Live for me Harry. I want nothing more than what's best for you, my love. So live and move on."

And just like that she was gone, and I was alone in my own dream. I made myself wake up and I checked the clock. 2:30 a.m. I knew I wouldn't be going back to sleep anytime soon, so I pulled Sam's photo album out from under the bed.

I teared up thinking about the moment she died, in this bed, with this album in her lap and a smile on her face. The moment she left me forever. I started flipping through the album like I had so many times before when I couldn't sleep. I ran my fingers along her face in each picture. God, I missed her. I wished I could just talk to her...

The dream! I was talking to her in my dream! That was my one last connection to her. The only way I could still be with her. I put the album down and layed my head on the cool side of the pillow. I closed my eyes and tried to calm my mind. i tried to go back to sleep. I tried to think of only her.

When I did fall asleep, I did dream of her, but it wasn't the kind of dream I was hoping for. All I saw was her laying on the bathroom floor, in a pool of blood. The way I found her the morning I spent the night, after we stayed up talking. I looked away from her and then saw her laying in that hospital bed, in a coma. She looked so fragile, so breakable, so weak. I turned away again and I saw her when we were making pancakes, one of the best days of my life. Then when she came back in the middle of the night from California. Then when she was back in a hospital bed, this time awake, waiting to tell me that horrible news. And then....then when she died right in front of my eyes. Then when we layed her cold, unmoving body six feet into the ground. And then I didn't see her anymore. I didn't see anything anymore. Someone was calling my name. I tried to ignore it, I tried to go back to Sam, but they wouldn't shut up.

"Harry. Harry. HARRY!" they yelled the last one quite loudly in my ear. I jolted awake, eyes shooting open, only to close them again because of the blinding light streaming in from the open blinds. I slowly opened them again, letting them adjust. I then saw that it was Louis that had been trying to wake me up.

"Harry c'mon, the car's here. We're leaving." He said quietly.

I forgor we had an interview today. The first since she died. I really wished I could just skip the stupid interview and stay home and sleep, try to see her again. But I knew I had to go. I had no choice.

"I'm coming." I replied hoarsely.

"Hey, you okay? You look like you didn't sleep at all last night." He layed a hand on my shoulder.

"Yea Lou, I'm fine." I said, brushing his hand off. He looked hurt, but I just ignored him and started getting dressed.

*a couple hours later*

This interview was taking FOREVER. I was dying of boredom. I just wanted this to be over, before they mentioned Sam.

"So how have you all been dealing with the passing of your close friend, Samantha Duchannes It's been about two months now, hasn't it?"
And here we go.

"It's been hard. We all miss her so much, it's weird not to have her around to joke and play around with. Everything happened so suddenly. One moment she was fine and then.. well.. you know." Lou answered for everyone, but the other boys nodded in agreement.

"And what about you, Harry? You two were dating at the time of her passing, weren't you?"

"Y-yeah" I sounded like I was already crying, which I was in danger of. But I cleared my throat, and started again. "Yeah, we were. These past two months have been the hardest two months I've ever had. I just-I just miss her so much." I stopped there before the waterworks came. The lady just nodded in sympathy and them moved on. I basically zoned out for the rest of the interview.

 

 

 

 

 

 

(A/N) so...it's been like forever since I've updated....and i'm really sorry. Please don't hate me... I'll have another story published soon, A Zayn fanfic and another one, based on the song This Is What Makes Us Girls by Lana Del Rey (you should totally check out that song btw) And I'll keep working on this one more. I've been writing in class now. I'm a junior now!!! :) go me! :P anyways thanks for being patient! keep commenting, liking, favoriting and reading!!!! feel free to kik me anytime, it's maddimonsterr

i love you all!!!!!!!! 

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