Unfolding Journey

Well Johanna, is just trying to find her way in the world just like everyone else. Things couldnt be going any better right now. She has a great boyfriend (so she thinks). But suddenly things are unfolding, she finds herself falling in love with more than one guy from 1D see how this journey and one simple mistake changes her life forever. Her one choice could make or brake the band. Does she choose or do the unthinkable?


22. I cant loose you!!!

*One Month Later*

*Harry`s P.O.V.*

Its been a month ever since me and Johanna started this physical connection thing. I have to admit Ive never felt this way about anyone before. Every second I want to be around her and every second im away from her she never leaves my mind. I know I love her but now im even less sure if she feels the same. Everytime we connect I make love to her but she only has sex. It kills me to know that at any moment she can stop this when she wants. And then what im left heart broken but I know she is going to leave me soon. I just hope desperately hope she doesnt find out what i did. I couldnt help it I was hurt and very angry, and mostly drunk. It was a mistake and I wsih I could take it back. I feel so guilty when ever im near her. I know its no excuse but i couldnt help it. She hurt me without even trying to with out even knowing she did. It crushed me to see her cry over a stupid picture. Yes one simple little picture of her and Louis smiling and holding hands wearing the same stupid outfit, and the stupid letter he wrote her confessing his love. It crushed me to know she still loves him and yet cares nothing for me, even after I was her first and so far her only. How could she, how could she be so cruel.. So what did I do? The only thing I could think to hurt her. I got drunk and went and slept with Ashley. Yes Ashley the same best friend who lied to her, hurt her. How could I? I tried to hurt her so much yet im hurting myself I wouldnt know what to do if I lost her. So here I am like the Moron i am sitting in her chair, by her fireplace, in her house wishing I could take it all back. Im sitting here drinking scotch straight from the bottle thinking of everytime ive touched her, kissed her, everytime ive made love to her, and yet ever since that night I cant make myself touch her. We havent made love in five days.

*Johanna P.O.V.*

 Its been a month since this thing with Harry started Its made me fonder of him. I know its just a matter of time before I fall completely in love with him. It also makes me sad I know I have to tell him soon that we cant do this anymore, I cant keep the physical stuff between us I made a promise to myself and I plan to keep it.

I walked in unlocking the door with my hands full from the grocery bags. Something felt funny, it felt weird almost to empty and quiet but i knew Harry was here. I took off my sandals and jacket and walked into the study. I saw harry sitting by the fire with a bottle of scotch beside him and his head in his hand. I didnt know what was wrong but my heart dropped seeing him like this. I had to comfort him. I walked over to him and kneeled placing my hands over his wrists trying to pry them away. "Harry, baby whats wrong?", I pulled his hands away but he still wouldnt look at me. I moved the bottle and sat in his lap draping my legs over his. I pulled his face up to mine but he looked into my eyes and then closed them. A tear rolled down his cheek and I kissed it away. It hurt me to know that he was hurting. "Harry please tell me whats wrong?", I pleaded with him. I placed my hands on his cheeks and he finally opened his eyes looking into mine. "Jo-johan-nna", he mumbled through sobs "I really made a mistake a terrible terrible mistake and im so sorry you wont ever forgive me", I didnt know what he was talking about but I didnt care i had to make him feel better. It couldnt be that bad right?. "Harry listen whatever you did it cant be that bad I will forgive you", I said looking into his eyes. His beautiful eyes they didnt have that sparkle like they normally did. "You dont understand, I ca--nt loose you", he cried burrying his face in the crook of my neck. I just let him sob while i rubbed his back and ran my fingers through his hair. "Harry you arent going to loose me", I said calming him. He just sobbed even harder "I am. I am. Im so stupid. so so stupid", he kept crying. I continued letting him get it all out I needed to make him see that he wasnt going to loose me. I knew of only one way and I was sure going to regret this but i couldnt stand seeing him like this. "Harry look at me", I said pulling his face up to mine. He looked at me with his red puffy eyes. I leaned in and kissed his forhead and looked at him directly in his eyes. "Harry I want you to make love to me", his eyes widened in complete shock "you ,you dont mean that you dont know what your saying, I cant i cant do that, you said only physical thats more, you dont want this". "Harry Listen to me, I want you to make love to me". He looked at me and i kissed him on the lips with passion. I got off of his lap and took his hand leading him to my bedroom.. I let him take lead as he took off each piece of my clothing with his own. We never broke contact with our lips as he layed me down. Harry positioned himself at my entrance and then pulled away looking me in the eyes. He pushed into me making me close my eyes in pleasure . He let me adjust and then began to thrust slowly but so hard I thought I was going to break, I dug my nails into his back, and moaned his name, he smiled and returned his lips to mine. I began to move my hips in sync with his. I could feel that we both put everything we had into it for once i was making love to Harry. I knew from this moment I love Harry and have for a while i just tried to hide it. He pulled out collapsing on top of me. He began to sob into my chest, this time I said nothing I just let him cry while I stroked his hair. I know now I love Harry, ive loved him for a while, how much im not yet sure, but one thing was for sure as much as i thought this was going to make it more difficult, it made it easier. I was going to have to tell Harry I loved him. I felt a weight lifted off my shoulders as soon as I admitted it to myself. It was the same feeling i had the other day when I found a picture of me and Louis. I cried for an hour as I realized I was finally over Louis after trying to hold on for so long.

*Harry`s P.O.V.*

I couldnt believe what she said she wanted me to make love to her. I knew she was going to regret it but I also knew this was probably the last time i ever got to make love to her or hold her in my arms. She led me into her room and I undressed her and put her on the bed positioning my self at her entrance. I pushed into her and Imediately felt something was different it was different. She was making love to me, I was making love to her, we were making love to each other. For two hours we made love, I pulled out collapsing onto her and began sobbing. She loves me.

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