Unfolding Journey

Well Johanna, is just trying to find her way in the world just like everyone else. Things couldnt be going any better right now. She has a great boyfriend (so she thinks). But suddenly things are unfolding, she finds herself falling in love with more than one guy from 1D see how this journey and one simple mistake changes her life forever. Her one choice could make or brake the band. Does she choose or do the unthinkable?


23. Dying twice?

I woke up a bit tired Harry was crying all night. I finally got him to go to sleep but not but not before I realized I had class and then work right after. I pushed back Harry`s hair that was covering his face he looked so distressed in his slip with little frown lines around his mouth that was in a pout. His eyes were still red and swollen but he still looked beautiful. I slowly lifted his head off my chest replacing it with the pillow. I got up reluctantly walking into the bathroom thinking about all that happened last night. I know it wasnt the first time me and Harry had done it, but it sure felt like it. I dont think ive ever felt that way about anyone. I know now I dont think I can loose Harry, I need him. I love him. But there is just one problem I know there is something he is not telling me. I can feel it its bothering me but there is nothing I can do. I know I should just trust him but last night while he was crying he kept saying it was a mistake, and I dont care about you. Part of me hurts because I fear he is talking about me and now that I know I need just as much as he says he needs me, I dont know what I would do if I went through another heartbreak. I put on my last bit of make-up and grabbed my bag heading out the door. Suddenly I had the urge to do something Ive never done before. I walked back down the hall to my bedroom door. What am I doing, Ive never done this before to him. I leaned over pushing his hair back, and kissed his forhead "Harry, Im off to class, call me if you need me", I whispered to him. He zopened his eyes groggily and looked at me, he pulled my face over to his  kissing me like he was holding on for dear life.

I pulled away slightly breathless and very confused. "Bye Johanna" "bye Harry" I said looking back as I walked out the door. Well yesterday was strange seeing Harry cry like that I just wish he would tell me why he was. And what was that about loosing me what did he mean loosing me. Then just now that kiss it made me weak and vulnerable, I didn't want to leave him not ever. I decided to drive my car to class today seeing as I was a little early. I walked into my philosphy class to all eyes on me. It wasn't the good kind some were admiring me somewhere pitying me, some where tearing into me wishing to hurt me in anyway. I decided to take my seat in the back of the classroom. After my two classes were over I walked to my car not speaking to anyone. But at this point as I'm getting into the parking lot two blonde chicks in front of me decide to make a point in talking louder. " she is just clueless, like has she not picked up any magazine lately.", " we'll I feel sorry for her I mean she is a pretty and nice girl" " yeah but Harry styles does not do pretty he does sexy!" " it's just a matter of time before he dumps her anyway she should have stuck with Liam or Louis!" " I dunno I've heard Louis is dating some chick named El or Sarah something like that". It was sick how they could just talk about someone like that I was almost sure they were talking about me but jeez. I walked into the cafe to see a smiling Diantha "hey girlie haven't seen you in a while" " I know I've been so busy ant, but I've heard you have a new beau?" I said walking off to go take my tables order. We continued to work through the lunch rush hour. Great I still had three hours til close. Just then A girl I'd never thought I'd see again walked in. And she decided to sit at one of my tables. "Ashley?", I asked. She looked at me and frowned a bit " Johanna, hey how have you been?", " fine, how about you" " good, I just wished things wouldn't have ended the way they did between us" " I know me to and I'm sorry about that I shouldn't have blamed you" " it's ok I guess I understood I should have told you" yea so how are you and Blake?" I ask smiling remembering how in love they were. She laughed and then looked at me " not together that's for sure" my eyes widened in shock. " wow ash I'm so sorry!" She laughed "oh don't be it was mutual", I laughed too. Just then the girl Ashley walked in with spoke up laughing too " you can say it was the for the best her and Harry got on really well", I looked at Ashley confused " Harry who?"' "Harry freaking Styles" she gushed at me. I gave her a weak smile " so are you guys a thing now?" I asked trying to hide my hurt. She furrowed her eyebrows " I'm not sure, I hope so I mean we slept together about five days ago and he asked for my number" I smiled " wow that's great ash hope it works out for you, we really should catch up soon but anyway, I have tables to wait.". I got up and walked over Diantha with my hand on my chest my heart felt as if it was about to fall out of my chest. "just go, i will cover for you i heard everything", Diantha said giving me a hug and pushing me out the door. I just hope what she said isnt true I mean how could anyone just make something like that up. I drove to Mangements studio I knew Harry would be there but unnfortanetly so would the rest of one direction and I hadnt seen or Heard from Louis or Liam for over a month. I looked in the rearview miror at myself before getting out. My make-up was still intact  becuause I hadnt cried yet. I promise I wont cry no matter what his answer is. I walked straight into the studio having been here before. I saw the backs of Harry, Liam, Niall, and Zayn they were watching Louis recording, who was facing me. They hadnt yet noticed me until Louis` eyes got big and he through down his headset running out to see me. This caused all of them to turn in my direction Niall and Zayn, showing wide grin which turned I guess the look on my face said something LIam just looked at me with worry, oh how I missed his gorgeous face. Louis ran out of the studio and stopped abruply looking at me in disbelief "Johanna, wha-what are you doing here?". I just looked from him to Harry. "Guys, can you give us a second.", Harry told them looking down. They nodded all walking out Liam and Louis being the last to leave just looking at me. Liam walked out after Louis but not before looking from me to Harry again. They walked into the recording studio turning their attention back to us I began to speak  knowing they couldnt hear us. "Harry", I spoke, he didnt look at me. "Harry", I repeated again. He looked at me with sad yet hopeful eyes. "Please tell me the truth?", "The truth about what?",he said stepping closer. "Why have you been acting weird the last couple of days?", "I-I-I ive just been stressed out", "Harry, please dont lie to me" I croaked out. He grabbed my shoulders looking me in the eyes "Johanna I would never", "Then tell me harry!", I pleaded. "Tell you what?!", he raised his voice. "What is it youre not telling me?", i whined  "Tell me why you said you were going to loose me, tell me why you were crying before and after we...we". He sighed pulling me into a tight hug. "Johanna, you have to understand that I was angry and hurt, and incredibly drunk I never meant to hurt you", I pulled away from him now angry but he still had a tight grip on my shoulders. "NottryingToHurt me!!", I sobbed making it sound like one word. "Harry you slept With Ashley someone I thought was my bestfriend, if you didnt want me you could have just told me, Harry", I cried a single tear rolling down my eye. He tried to wipe it away but I jerked out of his reach, completely out of his grasp now. "Johanna, please", he begged. "NO!, No!, you couldnt even tell me yourself I had to find out from her, do you have any idea how that makes me feel, especially after last night", I whispered more tears springing down my face. I saw as all the other guys faces turn from shock to concern. Harry tried grab me but I pushed him away "Johanna, Baby, please it was a mistake it meant, nothing, i wanted to tell you but i was just afraid of loosing you, you have to know that I love you, you mean everything to me, last night meant everything to me!!!", he cried franticaly. I saw the guys rush out of the studio over to me and harry were. "Johanna please I cant live without you, I cant bear to you being mad at me",Harry inched closer as Louis rounded the corner. "Harry im not mad, im just hurt, I wish you would have told me", I whispered my tears burning hot on my face. We both just stood there staring at each other tears in our eyes. I know I love Harry but I dont think this is something I can ever forget. I ran to my car not looking back and leaned my head against the door crying my eyes out. I felt a pair of strong arms go around me, I knew they werent Harry`s becuase this felt different I knew who it was his arms felt the same as they did the first time he held me. They protected me made me feel safe but not this time knowing ive hurt this person the way I have, but for once his arms didnt help because I wished, hoped, wanted them to be Harry`s arms. He turned me around in his arms burrying his head into his chest letting me cry my eyes. "Liam, why must we always be together when im crying?", He chuckled "Because I care about you always will", "So im guessing Harry told you?", I just nodded "you Knew?", He looked at me and furrowed his eyebrows "Of course why wouldnt I the tour starts next week", "Liam what are you talking about?", "Our world tour it starts next week, we will be gone for 6 months". At these words I couldnt control my tears I just let them pour out. Liam held me tighter and whispered "Im taking you home im not leaving you alone like this". I was to tired to refuse I felt as if I had died inside.

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