Dear Diary...

This is the diary of J.S. a girl that faces alot of problems in life..

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3. 12/27/2013

 

Dear diary,

I dont want to stay here any longer. My mom had came in and tried to hit me with a baseball bat yesturday but it hit a lamp and the glass hit my face. I started to run toward the closet but she swung at my legs and broke both of them. I fell and screamed in agony. It hurts so bad. Then she hit me over the head knocking me out cold. I just now woke up and i am in a hospital. I was told i had a severe concusion and i broke both of my legs almost completly. They told me that i might be paralyzed for a few months. And on top of all that i have to have surgery to put more blood in me cause i lost to much blood. I hate my mom i loathe my dad i hate life! I wish that my mom killed me but she only keeps me alive so she will have something to hit. Many people think they have the worse life cause their mom or dad doesnt give them what they wanted when they wanted but in reality they dont know pain. I have to deal with two very abusive parnets and sometimes i go days even months without eating anything. I have noone that loves me or cares. I have no friends no family that gives a shit about me and i am bullied at school. I remember the time when Cathy had beat me up. She thought that i was trying to steal her boyfriend when in reality i asked him for a pencil and she beat be up for it. I am soo weak right now to the point where i didnt fight her off. Even the teachers joined in beating me up. It was terrible. And on top of that my my beat up when i got home cause i didnt fight back. I was put in the hospital for broken ribs, punctured lung, broken legs, and two blakened eyes and a bloddy lip. I bite hard on my lip i bit my bottom lip off. They had to sew it back on. Good news i guess, the doctor said i will be fine but i will be paralyzed for 2 years. They said i could go home. I am trying to beg and pled to them to let me stay i will write in a minute

*************

I am back. Well they made me go home and i am super bumbed. My mom beat me for trying to get out of going home and she told me i cant have anything to eat. On top of that she told me that two guys are  coming to fuck me so i better get ready. I am putting on the makeup and outfit my mom layed out for me. Well i guess i will write when i am finished..

************

It was horrible. They both went in me at the same time. One at my front the other in the back. It was the most terrible thing i felt in my life. i am so sore and hungry i can practically see my ribs now. I keep promising myself that i will run away get away from all this bad stuff. I am planning on doing it my 17th birthday which is in 2 months. I already have a bag patched and everthing. If everything goes smoothly after my mom lets me fuck anyone i want which is John Carter  (the only highlight of my year) then i will get John to ask my mom to keep me over night then i will sneak my bag that has all the clothes money and some food that will hold me over a month, and then he will give me some more money and he will drive me to the closest bus stop and i will go to his summerhouse in malibu and he will join me after he gets everything situated at home. How will i get away with this you ask? Well John will tell my mom over and over that he wants to keep me longer and of course she will say yes and he will give her money eachtime. I will keep in touch with him the whole time. I cant wait til then but i have to deal with her for another 2 months i think i can survive. Oh before i close John isnt too old.. He is actually 19 years old and he is really cute and i think he likes me:) He has blond hair blue eyes and he is buff and really tan. Everytime he touches me i go crazy. He is one of my favorite guys to fuck for money. He is so sweet. When we are having sex he goes slow when i want him too and fast if i say so. He handles me so gently unlike the other guys before him. And he even lets me take control sometimes. Sorry i am telling you about my sex life but i cant wait til i fuck him:). He is so romantic when he does to. He lights candles rose petals on the bed:). We have done it all over his house: Couch, bed you name it we done it there:). Everytime on my birthday he buys me a pretty necklas and i still have on the one he gave me my last birthday:). He was acually my first guy i fucked. i was 15 he was 17 and he handled me so gentle since it was my first time and for the first time in a long time i actually thought someone cared about me:). Sorry for my babbling i really have to go my mom is coming and i am supposed to be sleep night diary i will write tommorow

Love you always and forever,

J.S.

P.S. Thats what the necklas has engraved on the back of the heart. Love you always and forever:)

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