A new start

Roughly it's about a girl who starts over when she reaches high school, to get away from her past. She lives with her grandparents and while trying to overcome her own past she meets new people and learn about their stories. No matter how horrible life may feel, your not the only one who's got a sad story to tell...

Main plot keeps changing in my head so i can't really explain everything yet and the intro is just to roughly begin the story i wouldnt really count it as a chapter since it's too superficial.

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1. Intro

16 years old, and already a social outcast. That’s the story of my life. I chose to move away from home to live with my grandparents just so I could start all over in a new city, a place where no one would know me, a place where I’d be able to reinvent myself and be whoever I felt like being. It’s easier said than done because here I am, sitting in my new class, first day of high school and I’m so nervous I want to throw up!

I chose a small high school on purpose, to avoid ending up with a place full of snobs. But obviously most of these people came from the same school or at least know about each other’s schools, so I’m more or less like an alien, the unknown kid from the capital. I wish I could just curl up and die!

“Okay people quiet down, I’m your English teacher and my name’s Jake Simmons” I guess I always imagined that high school teachers would be old and grey, but this one was nothing like that at all. He is everything I’m not, green eyes, long blonde (girly) hair, tall and slender. He looks to be in his late twenties, wearing vans, a blue hoodie, black tight jeans and granddad glasses. Not really sure what they’re called but they look like something from 100 years ago and since they don’t seem to magnify his eyes or make them look smaller I’m pretty sure they are a made with real glass and just a prop. He’s very beautiful though, almost too beautiful, kind of like slapping the female sex in the face. But he’s mesmerizing in a way and I wonder if his eyes look green up close.

“Hey Jake, which class did Mika end up in?” a chubby guy to my right asks.

“You’ll address me as master when we’re in school John. He’s in class C” the teacher answers. I guess this Mika is related to the teacher and she probably grew up with most of the kids in this class. I wonder if I made a mistake moving here, will I make it?

There’s 25 of us in class, and most people are already chatting like they’ve known each other forever, which they probably have. I feel like stabbing myself in the eye with my pencil. What the hell was I thinking?

“You’re new” my thoughts are interrupted as the entire class falls silent and everyone’s staring at me, including the teacher. His stare creeps me out, it’s like he sees right through me, like he can see inside my head and knows what I’m thinking. I don’t know what to answer.

“Sarah Thompson. I’ve known these idiots since they were in diapers, but you I haven’t seen before. You look too cool for this school” he laughs at his own lame joke, what an idiot. The rest of the class is laughing too, some protesting about being called idiots. I frown.

“What the fuck, how lame” I mutter and that was the moment I committed social-suicide. Everyone fell silent, staring at me with disbelief and some with outright hostility. I guess this Jake-guy must be some kind of celebrity for these people and calling him lame is a definitely no-go. The only one laughing is the teacher, I guess he’s not easily offended.

“Where are you from, what’s your story” he says smiling, sitting down in his chair and folding his hands as if he’s pretending to be interested.

At this point I’m beyond pissed off. At him, the pissy kids in my class but most of all at myself. Why can’t I just shut the hell up, why do I always just blurt stuff out without thinking!

“I doubt you’d wanna know” I might as well alienate myself completely. He just smiles; I bet he thinks it’s funny, like I’m a furious little kitten trying to look big and scary, hissing like an idiot.

No one talks to me for the rest of the day. At lunch break I steer clear of the cantina and go outside to find a private spot to smoke. Luckily the school grounds are covered with trees and I find a place to sit in the shadow, away from the courtyard where the rest of the school’s smokers sit on benches and chat. I watch them talk and laugh, they’re all so carefree chasing each other around like little kids. I don’t see anyone from my own class, which I’m kind of grateful for.

I check my phone for messages, but there’s only one from my mom and dad wishing me luck with my first day of school. I feel bad leaving them both like I did, but they went through a lot because of me and as much as I had to get away from the people I went to school with I just couldn’t take the way those two looked at me. I had disappointed them in so many ways that I wasn’t their little girl any longer. Even though they never said it to my face I could hear them every night, my mom crying, my dad shouting, the phone calls, the meetings, the shame, the horrible look of shame on their faces. Damn it, even now it makes me want to cry. I put out my cigarette in the grass and toss it. Out of the corner of my eye I see someone approaching, I already know who it is.

“So this is where you’re hiding” he says and sits down next to me, he pulls out a pack of cigarettes from his hoodie pocket and lights one.

“Don’t you know it’s bad for your reputation to be fraternizing with the enemy” I answer coldly, of course he just laughs. I’m beginning to think that his reaction to almost everything, unless you kick him in the groin or something.

“I hadn’t read your file, so I’m sorry for putting you on the spot like that” he says casually eyeing me like I might to berserk any minute.

“Oh so you know, don’t worry I won’t jump you, you look too much like a woman for my tastes” My file! My fucking file! Like there’s a thick folder containing all of my horrible crimes that follows me everywhere so people can be warned. I get up and grab my bag to leave.

“Oh you’re not going to keep me company? Lunch break won’t be over for another 20 minutes” he asks surprised.

“What do you want?” I ask, trying to contain my anger. I was never the aggressive type, but these last few months I’ve just had to keep too much in and I just want to be able to get some of it out somehow. But I don’t have anyone to talk to, so I resorted to talking back and being pissed off all the time.

“Oh I’m also the guidance counselor around here so if you ever need someone to talk to I’m your guy” he answers looking amused. I want to smack the grin off his face. I decide to become a mute from that moment on, talking about it never got me anywhere, so why now, why even bother trying to make friends.

As I walked past the courtyard to get inside I noticed people staring at me, I guess rumors travel fast here.

“That’s her, with the black hair and weird looking outfit” some redheaded girl whispers to a guy. For a second I almost stop to stare at him. He’s like a miniature version of the annoying teacher, just not as tall and his hair is cut short in the back and his bangs are long. His eyes are a little different though, almost like they’re spotted with golden flecks. He stares at me with no expression on his face, and I rush inside, he gives off the same creepy i-can-see-right-through-you-feeling as, what I assume is his older brother. All the way to class people in small groups whisper and stare at me, like I’m infected with the plague or something. I guess it’s not too late to change schools.

As soon as the last bell rings I’m out the door before anyone else. I more or less storm through the school and out the back entrance to the parking lot. My first day of school is officially over and as I jump in the back of my grandmothers tiny Mini One I cry as if the world is ending.

“Not a great day I take it” she whispers as she start the car and leaves the school area.

I really wanted this to be a great day, I wanted to show them that I was fine that I was going to keep on living like everything that has happened was just a bad dream. I wanted to show my grandparents that I was doing great so they’d have something good to tell my parents for once. I wanted everyone to stop worrying about me, but somewhere along the way something inside me broke so thoroughly that I don’t know how to put myself back together, I don’t know how to trust people again.

When we arrive at home I head for my room right away, furiously wiping the tears and snot away with both my hands. My grandmother doesn’t chase after me, she lets me run off, gives me space and I’m grateful for it. I close the door behind me, throw my bag on the floor and crawl under the covers and hide from the world, and myself. My phone vibrates in my pocket, which reminds me I forgot to text back my mom. I pull it out and a check the latest message, it’s from an unsaved number, but still I know that number by heart. I hide the phone underneath my pillow. I’m shocked and hurt! Texting me now, so long after! As if I want to hear shitty apologies now!

I wish I could turn back time, wish I was smarter, wish I wasn’t me…

The first few days flew by in a haze. I went to school, attended classes, hid behind a tree during breaks and went straight home afterwards. I spent my afternoons and evenings in my room staring at the ceiling, or doing my homework. I still hadn’t answered my mom, but I was pretty sure that my grandmother had reported my failure. I hadn’t read that text either, deciding if I should just delete it without reading it at all.

Luckily Jake has decided to back off and leave me alone, but instead he has taken to announcing how lonely his counseling room is. As if I’d give a shit. I’ve seen the younger version of him around lately, since the idiot is practically stalking me whenever he sees me. He never talks to me though, which would end in his funeral if he did. I bet he doesn’t like people talking shit to his brother. If he is anything like the rest of this school, he probably has a serious brother-complex.

Life’s pretty much passing me by, I’m like a ghost. My grandmother was looking worried and I could tell she wanted to ask me something but wasn’t sure how I’d take it. I decided to lie and tell her I’m going to the school party tonight even though I’d rather spend my night lying on my back staring at the ceiling. She was so happy when I told her, trying to act all casual. My grandfather gave me money, since the school sells alcohol.

I often wished I lived on the other side of the planet, but living here in Denmark isn’t all bad, since you only have to be 16 to buy alcohol, still my grandparents have to buy my cigarettes until I’m 18, which is pretty immoral, but they’re not that high on morals, lucky for me.

My grandparents on my mother’s side are pretty well off, since my grandfather opened a strip club in the early 70’s. It was the first of its kind back then, and it caused quite a stir. My mom had quite a hard time growing up but my grandfather always insisted that people were just too narrow-minded. Guess it all worked out when my mom met my dad who was bartending there, when they were both in their early twenties. My grandmother never really cared about where the money came from, but she said if she ever found out that he was fooling around she would kill him in his sleep. I guess he never did since he’s still alive.

My dad’s parents are farmers and live near the German border. I never saw much of them growing up, since the drive there was too long. Whenever I misbehaved my dad would threaten me with sending me there as a kid. He didn’t do it 4 months ago though. I bet they don’t even know what’s been going on, bet they never will.

The party starts at 7 p.m. so I lied and told my grandparents that I’m going for pizza with some classmates. It’s a small town less than an hour away from where I used to live. There’s not that much to do in this town so I ended up at McDonalds, which was a pretty bad idea since the place is packed with kids my age. Luckily none of them are from my class and I sit in a quiet corner all by myself, but sure enough a few kids have already spotted me. I stand out too much, with jet black long hair and always wearing band t-shirts my favourite rainbow-colored converse and my leather jacket.  Some people stare openly at me, like I’m some kind of zoo animal. I take the tray with the food I ordered and find a quiet corner as far away as possible. My phone starts ringing which surprises me enough to almost make me drop the tray on the table. I check the screen and hesitate before picking up.

“Hello” I whisper, sitting down so my back is towards the rest of the restaurant. Someone’s breathing into the phone.

“I .. I’m sorry” she starts sobbing, heavy breathing follows as she tries to control herself.

“I know” I answer trying not to cry too.

“How are you*sob*the new school” Sounds like she’s sporting a runny nose.

“It’s okay” I lie. I wipe away a stray tear.

“I miss you” She whispers, and my tears won’t stop. I don’t know what to answer, I’m hurt and feel betrayed, but I miss her like crazy and I’m so damn lonely.

“Why did you..” I can’t take it and hang up. I flee into the bathroom before breaking down completely. I cry and scream not caring if anyone else is here. It takes less than 20 seconds and then I’m all dried up. Back to being numb and empty. I wipe my eyes and check my face in the mirror. Not good, my eyes are all red. I splash some water on my face and wipe it with some paper towels, which only make it worse since it that crappy recycled paper kind. I leave the bathroom and bump in to someone. I keep staring at the floor and make a run for it muttering an apology.

“Hey” he grabs my arm which surprises me and I look up ready to argue that he was literally standing up against the door so it wasn’t my fault.

“You okay?” His eyes are dark brown like mine, but the concern on his face seems real.

“What?” I ask confused. I’m pretty sure he’s not in my class and I don’t think I’ve ever seen him before.

“You were crying in there, everyone heard it and then you just storm off like that. I was kind of listening through the door” He lets go of my arm and scratches the back of his head laughing. He looks a little embarrassed, which is understandable since he just admitted to being a freaking stalker.

“Who are you?” I leave the “creep” out and look at him with suspicion which makes him stand up straight and put on his best smile. He looks kind of hot with shaggy brown hair and abnormally white teeth. He’s a lot taller than me, wearing black converse, jeans and a tight hoodie with some gay pattern on it.

“Oh call me Benji, I’m a 3rd year but the entire school already knows who you are, the ice-queen” he chuckles, so I kick him over the right shin.

“You fucking idiot” I scream and run into the restaurant. A few guys are staring at me, probably his friends. I leave immediately and check my phone. No new calls, and still that one text I still haven’t read. It’s almost 7 so I head for the school. At this hour there’s probably not any students yet, since they’re probably getting wasted with their friends, but I need a drink and since I don’t feel like buying a bottle of vodka at the supermarket and sit on a bench by myself like some lonely drunk I opt for a place indoors and with toilets.

I show my student ID at the entrance where two students I don’t know are sitting by a table making sure only students from the school enters. They’re probably also the ones who have to clean up after this stuff is over. I kind of feel sorry for them, but then again they volunteered. One of them is that damned teacher’s mini clone, I try not to look at him but he’s smiling like an idiot. I leave after the girl next to him explains where the wardrobe is, I just nod. I have no intention of leaving my bag or jacket there; you never know who might snoop through your stuff. I head for the bar area but I don’t make it far before I spot the annoying teacher and I hide behind a seating area with couches, like an idiot! Luckily he hadn’t spotted me because he walks past me heading for the two at the table. I make a run for it and find the bar. There are a few teachers behind the bar and some at the wardrobe area. At the dance floor a few students are talking, none I know.

I order a beer and head outside to the courtyard where two guards are having a cigarette. Apparently they don’t want people sneaking in, which also mean I can’t go to my usual spot by the trees. I sit down on a bench and take out a cigarette and light it. The guards glance in my direction, probably wondering why I’m all alone. Yes I’m pathetic I know! I take a sip of my beer, and put it down on the bench again. I take out my phone. No messages or calls. I type a quick text for my mom; Hi I’m fine at a school party blablabla. I send it and put the phone back in my pocket. I decide to finish my cigarette before drinking my beer, it tastes weird when you smoke and drink at the same time and I’m not too fond of beer to begin with. I just figured that walking around with a bottle of white wine was too sad. Since it’s a school they only sell beer, wine and ciders, since they don’t want to sell hard liquor to students. Maybe I should have bought that bottle of vodka after all, would have been cheaper too.

I’m half way through my beer when more students arrive. I decide to get out of here when I’m done with my beer, but just as I’ve made up my mind the asshole from McDonalds’ standing in front of me with a Somersby apple cider.

“Peace offering” he says handing it to me. I look up at him a tiny bit ashamed that I actually resorted to kicking him. I down the rest of my beer and take the can, open it and down half of it. It burns in my mouth, too cold.

“Thanks” I mutter and take out a new cigarette. He sits down next to me and takes a sip of his beer.

“I thought you’d be more of a cider than beer kind of girl” He says and looks at me.

“Too sweet if you want more than a 2 or 3 of them” I say and take a sip.

“Yeah they make your teeth all sticky, which is a no go in my family since they’re dentists” He laughs, if I wasn’t in such a bad mood, it’d be infectious, but I just stare at the can in my hands. He stops laughing.

“Hey Mika, you off desk duty?” He says. I don’t want to look up.

“Yeah, it’s pretty boring. Hello” He says and bends down so his face is too close to mine. I move away in surprise. His eyes creeps me out.

“What!” I ask angrily. They both start laughing drawing the attention of some of the other students close by.

“Your funny. Jake told me you called him lame. He always makes those lame jokes and laughs at how funny he thinks he is” Mika says as if I cared one bit.

“Well haven’t you heard I’m the ice-queen” I mutter and raise my can.

“Oh yeah, sorry about that” Benji whispers, scratching the back of his head, probably something he does whenever he’s embarrassed.

“You’re pretty defensive huh” Mika says and sits down on the other side of me.

“No I just have an attitude problem” I say dryly, realizing that I’ve been a complete bitch since the minute I set foot in this place. Shit I’m so pathetic.

“You know people are just curious because your new to town and your granddads the stripper king right?” Benji says smiling radiantly.

“You know my grandfather?” I ask surprised.

“Of course” They both laugh in unison. It feels like ice thawing inside me, I smile and then it spreads and I burst out laughing. Of course, how can they not know about my grandfather, it’s a small town and it’s not like he’s secretive about his profession. They both stare at me and laugh.

“You’re pretty forward huh” I say when the laughing fit has passed. Mika stares at me and smiles.
“I guess so” He answers smiling and shrugs. His stare is too intense so I look away almost immediately. If dragons were real I’m pretty sure they’d have eyes like his. They’re not really green it’s just the color combination that makes them seem green from a distance.

“Give me your number” He says casually and takes out his phone. I almost choke on my drink.
“Oh me too” Benji says and takes out his own. I hesitate looking from one phone to the other, but eventually give in and tell them my number. I notice a group of girls some benches further down towards where the guards are standing. One of them, obviously the leader, with long blonde hair and a little black dress with matching heels is scowling at me.
“Uuuuh ex-girlfriend alert” Mika chuckles, following my line of sight. Benji looks up and freezes, locking eyes with the blonde. After a few seconds he looks away and the blonde with her three friends go inside, while passing us they loudly comment on how boys like shiny new things, but easily get tired of them. I frown at her and she hurries through the door.

“God I can’t stand her” Benji mutters and puts his phone away. At the same time my phone vibrates. I take it out and check the new message.

“Now you have my number too” Benji says smiling. I let him watch while I save the number.
“Desperate much?” Mika laughs while Benji just shakes his head, I smile, but it fades as Mika points out that I have one unread message.

“Yeah I’m not quite ready to read that one yet” I say shrugging and put my phone away. The atmosphere’s kind of heavy after that and I don’t know what to say. Benji scratches the back of his head.

“So why did you move here? Kill someone?” Mika asks. I guess he might be missing some kind of filter in his brain, or something.

“Wow dude, you’re so not delicate about anything” Benji says in surprise. Mika looks surprised too, as if he doesn’t understand what Benji’s on about.
“Uhm no” I laugh imagining myself killing that person; I’d never have it in me. I’m weak, too weak.

“Some stuff happened and it got kind of ugly so I decided to start over” I say meekly, hoping they won’t press on.
“Married man?” Mika asks bluntly. I freeze, on the edge of panic. I look up at him and his face is all sincere, questioning.

“Damn Mika!” Benji shouts.

“Uhm no, not married” I answer.

“But a guy” Benji asks, looking too sad, considering I just met him.

“Yeah” I whisper. I crush the can with one hand, secretly hoping it breaks and cuts me. Mika takes it from me and puts it in the trashcan next to me.

“Anyone thirsty?” Benji asks awkwardly standing up. I nod, Mika asks for a bottle of wine. I offer him some money but he refuses.

It’s awkward sitting there next to Mika, not knowing what to talk about. He’s whistling some weird tune I can’t make out. I wonder for a second if he knows about me already, but I can’t imagine that the annoying teacher would spill the beans considering it would cost him his job. I glance over at him and he’s staring at me again.

“You’re kind of creepy” I mutter.

“Oh I get that a lot” I smiles running a hand through his hair.

“You’re pretty hot, shouldn’t you have girls swarming around you?” I ask just as Benji gets back, he hands us each a cup and pours the wine. I thank him, taking a sip. God awful cheap wine, but at least it’s cold.

“Oh yeah I know I look great, but girls don’t appreciate it when I tell them whatever I’m thinking about. I’m too straight forward I guess, bad family trait” He laughs, so does Benji. I smile guessing that the guy is already well aware of how weird he comes across to other people. Still there’s something amazing about his attitude, no filter also means no lies. Something I was in desperate need of.

I spend the rest of the evening with the two guys, and a bunch of other people, or more like blurry faces and forgotten names. As far as I could understand in my drunken haze the hateful attitude towards me was all in my head, it was more like a curious interest, but since I looked like a pissed off psycho no one dared approach me. I ended up having a lot of fun, but then everything went black.

Slowly waking up I soon realized I wasn’t in my own bed, and I wasn’t alone. Straight out horror! Hung over like crazy, feeling sick and too scared to open my eyes, not the kind of morning you want after finally feeling like life was back on track. On my right side someone’s moaning, on my left a cough. Panic!
“Well well get up sleepy heads breakfast is seeeeeeerved” Probably the last voice I’d like to hear in the morning. As far as I can tell I’m still fully dressed, so I dare to open my eyes slowly. On my right Mika’s sitting up, looking like a baby chick that’s been run over a few times. His hair’s a mess, his clothes wrinkled and he looks just as I’m feeling. I sit up slowly, feeling worse than I can ever remember. Benji’s lying on my other side one arm over his eyes and a hand on his stomach.

“What the hell happened” I say slowly afraid that I’ll throw up if I open my mouth too much.

“Mixing wine and beer is bad” Benji whispers with a hoarse voice.

“I need a coke so bad” Mika says getting off the bed.

“Why are we all here, and where are we?” I ask looking around. The bedrooms big and light. There’s the huge bed we’re lying on a giant closet a flat screen and a dresser. Everything’s kept in pure white, no decorations whatsoever.

“Did we crash a furniture store?” I ask crawling towards the edge of the bed. Benji’s trying to move too, way slower than me though.
“Nah this is Jake’s place” Benji says getting up.

“Is this now where you tell me you’re all inbreeds?” I mutter getting to my feet.

“What? No, we’re not related” Benji exclaims, as if it’s worst idea ever.
“Oh okay” I answer not really caring.
“Jake and Benji are gay for each other” Mika says totally serious and then burst out laughing.

“What?!” I’m shocked.

“Don’t worry, I’ve never touched him” Jake’s standing in the door, his eyes sad, almost apologetic. I cringe, I hate pity.

“And he refuses to until I graduate that idiot” Benji’s smiling, positively glowing. Ah love, it’s so fucking painful and the worst timing ever. I can’t hold it in, the tears burst out of me like a fountain, I cry so hard it makes my headache even worse which makes me cry even harder. I cover my face and slide down the bed and land on the floor, I just want to disappear. Benji panics, Mika’s frozen and Jake’s trying to get both of them to leave the room. I cry harder and harder, like I’m in pain, like I’m going to die, like there’s no tomorrow and I’ve completely given up. I guess this is why my parents isolated me on a sunny island the first half of the year. Far away from other people, emotions and the memories.

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