The Time-Keeper's Dungeon

The life of Christina Fontay is anything but normal. With her wings and her lunatic mother, the Doncaster Girl is puzzled and quite awkward about it. This book is hilariously cheeky, heartwarming and will blow your fuzzy Captain America socks right off with the suspense and action. ENJOY, MY CUPCAKES!!! *MWAH* LOVE YAH!!

-Captain America



As I fly through the debris of the ruined dungeon, I was in the process of forming a plan, when a knife comes zooming towards me. On the golden hilt of the dagger, I noticed a small note on a scrap of napkin.

It read, You can't run now. I will even resort to cannibalism if it means I will torture your sorry flesh. We may share DNA, but I will never call you my daughter.-QR

"My own mum, how should I not be surprised?" I yell to no one in particular. 

My "thoughts" were disrupted by the sound of crackling luminous lightning swirling and zapping around a big circus tent the size of three football fields. I made a squeaking sound from the back of my throat. How heroic. 

I drop to the ground in a thud and brush myself off. "Here we go." I muttered. "If I die....I guess I'll just die."

Wow. I was so enthusiastic.

 As I sneaked quietly through the big tent, my mind raced. But, all of my worrying stopped in a halt, when I saw my father hanging from a fraying rope above a cauldron filled with steaming neon green goo. 

In the next corner there was my friends all tied up. the next corner.......the queen was walking into this one wall and screaming, "I'M NOT A QUEEN!! I'M A PICKLE!!!!""

I first, ran to my tied up friends and untied them. 

"CHRISTINA!!!! I thought you were dead." Sammi sniffled. 

"C'mon, there's no time for tears, we gotta go save two people and kill a queen...preferably not England's though." I say, way more confident than I felt.

"Right," Jake joined in. "Let's split up. Christina kills Regina, Sammi gets the senile queen, and I'll get your father."

"Deal." we all chorused together.

We all ran off in different directions, and set off to save or kill a person. 

I was running around the tent trying to find my annoying, creepy, neanderthal mother; when I hear a familiar voice.

"Christina, dear, you came." my mother purrs into my ear.

I whip around to see my mother standing inches from my face. 

"It's so nice to know I have a wing-stabbing mother on my hands." I growl impatiently. "Cut to the cake, lady. I wasted my day already in a dungeon with pointy weapons ready to attack me at any second."

All my mother did was smirk.

I grinned foolishly, my plan was about to come to life.

"Mum?" I asked grinning cheekily.

"Yes?" she replied confused.

"What's that green goo over there?"

"Boiled ground up Emerald dust." she replied, gloatingly. 

I smirked. This was too easy. 

"Mum?" I asked again.

"Yes," she hissed.

"How long does it take to knock someone into that cauldron?"


ANNND that's when I dropped her sorry "royal" butt into the steaming Emerald goo.

"Christina! That was amazing!" Jake panted running over. "Here's your father." he said, and lie him softly on the ground.

George's eyes fluttered opened and he started smiling. "CALL THE PARAMEDICS!! That queen needs medical attention!" I screech, and Sammi dials their number while our senile queen caressed Jake's hair. 

Five long minutes later, the paramedics drove off. But, strangely enough, I wasn't upset. I KNEW my dad would be okay. I just knew. We were all going to Jake's car, when I eye a small bag the size of a nail polish bottle. I look over my shoulder, and see Sammi and Jake both raising their eyebrows at me.

I shook my head and scooped up the bag and slipped it into my  pocket. 

Once I was in the car, I read the label. It read, for Christina, from Dad. With love. 

I peeked into the bag and giggled. There was the amazing crown jewels...but, Regina had accidentally shrunken them without noticing. Stupid queen. 

I couldn't help but smile. Someone's gonna sleep well tonight. 

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