I woke up to a nausiating feeling in my stomach. I soon felt it start to come up. I ran into the bathroom holding my mouth. I bent over the toilet and let it all go. It had been like this for a couple of days so I decided to take a pregnacy test. Two lines mean you're pregnant, One line means you aren't. Positive. Negative. I had to wait 3 minutes until the results showed up. It was the longest 3 minutes of my life. I was pacing and I felt like throwing up again. I was so nervous. This is not what I wanted. I didn't want to be pregnant. Yet. Once I felt the three minutes were up I picked up the little stick. What I saw made my heart fall out of my body. I broke down and started crying. This is not what I wanted. I heard a knock on the door. It was Harry.
"Hey, babe. I gatta go to the bathroom, can I come in?"
"Yeah, hold on." I flushed the toilet and out away any evidence of me taking the test and I walked out. I had to call El.
Me: El. I sounded like I had been sobbing.
El: Aly, have you been crying? Is everything alright? Do you want me to come over?"
Then I thought about it. Me and Harry have been using condoms ever since we met. We didn't once but he pulled out. I was so confused, But then I remember. Matty. When he raped me and beat me, He didn't use a condom. And I remember him cuming inside. I was scared. I didn't want a baby. Especially not his!
El: Hey babe! You there?
Me: El, I'm pregnant...
El: You're WHAT?
Me: And It's not Harrys.
El: YOU CHEATED ON HARRY??
Me: NO! El, it's not like that! I started crying again. It was when Matty raped me! Me and Harry always use condoms, but Matty didn't, and he came inside of me! I don't want to keep it, but I don't want to have an abortion! What if Harry won't wanna marry me anymore? What if he won't love me anymore cause I'm carrying another man's baby! I'm atleast 2 months along!
El: THAT FUCKING ASSHOLE! HE DID THAT ON PURPOSE! I'm so sorry babe. But you have to tell him. You're gunna keep getting bigger and bigger. He's going to notice eventually. I'm on my way. And with that she hung up. About 20 minutes later she walked through the door.
"Have to told him?" She whispered into my ear pulling me into a hug.
"No" I cryed into her shoulder. He was never going to want anything to do with me ever again. He is going to hate me so much. It's all my fault.
"HARRY!" El yelled. "GET YOUR BOOTAY DOWN HERE! WE NEED TO TALK!"
El and I walked into the living room and sat down next to eachother. She pulled me into her and my head was on her chest. Harry walked in and looked at me confused.
"Sit." El said and pointed next to her so she was in the middle.
Now, we have something to tell you, but you cannot flip out. And you must take it serious. Harrys facial expression was now blank.
I looked him in the eyes and grabbed El's hand. "Harry, I...I'm pregnant..." He looked mad now. "...And it's not yours. But I swear I didn't cheat on you! It was when Matty raped me!" I started talking really fast and hoped he would believe me. He didn't look mad anymore, But sorrowful. El got up and left us to talk. Harry put his arm around me.
"I can't say I'm completely thrilled about this, but I can't say I'm not mad either." He paused and it was silent for a while. "Do you want to keep it?" The words split through me like a sword.
"I don't know. I don't want to keep it, but I don't want an abortion either. I want a baby, But I want YOUR baby." I put my head on his shoulder.
"Maybe abortions the right way to go. Our weddings in a month and I'm sure you'll want to drink that day, and you really can't with a baby." He said calmly.
"Maybe." I was really thinking about this. I better go to the hospital to see what would happen first. I'd go tomorrow. The rest of the night was hell. I just decided I would go to sleep. I woke up to a terible feeling in the pit of my stomach, I was also bleeding. What the hell was happening?
"HARRY!" I started screaming and he came running into our room.
"What? Are you ok?"
"No! Take me to the hospital please!" I said wincing in pain.
He picked me up bridal style and grabbed his car keys. He slid me into the front seat of the range rover and ran around to the other side and hopping in the car. He started it up and sped his way to the hospital. We arrived at the hospital and we walked into the emergency room. They took me into a room and the doctor started checking everything. I was holding Harrys hand the entire time. I was scared. The doctor came back with a sorry look on his face.
"I'm sorry, Ms.Mckenzie. It's seems to be that you have had a miss-carraige." I startted to get tears in my eyes as he continued. "It's not that you were doing anything wrong, The baby might've not been able to breathe, or be deformed. I'm very sorry for your loss. This happens to a lot of couples."
I didn't know how to feel about all this. First I was pregnant, and now I've had a miss-carriage? What if this happens when I actually want to get pregnant? I couldn't handle that. I squeezed Harrys hand and told him I was going to be okay. This could either make us or break us. We went back home and I took a shower while Harry changed the sheets on our bed. I just wanted to sleep with Harry. Not like that. Just me wrapped in his arms. I threw on one of Harrys t-shirts and slipped on some underwear. Not going to bother to put pants on. Harry was already under the covers watching the telly. He lifted up the blankets, inviting me me. I crawled up next to him and he wrapped his arms around me. Just like I wanted it to be.