Me and Harry woke up early the next day. It felt good to wake up wrapped in Harrys arms again. I missed that feeling so much. We showered and got dressed. This was the first time in months where I felt good about myself. We headed out the door and we drove downtown, we were gunna walk around aor a while. Even thought I can't really walk. I wobble. We wobbled our way around downtown, hand in hand and people were staring. Oh well. I was a little thristy so we went to Starbucks and I got some water and Harry got a Passion Fruit Ice Blend. We waited for our orders and sat down. We were laughing and having a good time until suddenly I felt like I peed on myself. My water just broke.
"Yeah babe?" He was still laughing at the corny joke he just told.
"My water just broke."
"YOU HEARD ME! MY WATER BROKE!" I screamed. I'm so happy no one else was in there besides the people that worked there.
"OH MY GOD! I-I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!"
"GET THE CAR ASSHOLE!"
Harry ran out of the Starbucks and a lady came from around the counter and started rubbing my back. She must've saw our car come around the corner. She helped me up and led me outside. Harry jumped out of the car and they helped me in. I smiled at her and said 'thank you' and waved. Harry ran around the car and got in. We sped off and I was doing those stupid breathing things.
"GOD THIS HURTS LIKE HELL!" It sounded like a demon came outside of me.
"Babe. Just calm down please we're almost there. I promise. Just breathe."
I started breathing like a retard. I sounded like I needed help.
He sped into the hospital parking lot and pulled into a hadicap parking lot. He was probably going to get fined for this, or our car was going to get towwed. He walk/ran in with me and they looked at me. A nurse came out of no where and took me and Harry into a birth room.
"CALL EVERYONE, DON'T JUST STAND THERE!" I yelled at him undressing and slipping my hospital gown on and sitting in the bed. Harry quickly complied with my order and got on the phone and rang everyone. In no time I felt like they were all there. They were all by my side.
"You're gunna do great!" Niall said.
"Your guys' baby is going to be so cute!" Zayn and Hailey said.
"I'll be it's favourite uncle!" Liam said.
"Uh-uh, it'll be me!" Louis yelled.
"I'll be it's fav aunt!" Hannah said.
"Oh, is that really?" Kelly said.
"ALL OF YOU SHUT THE FUCK UP!" I was so tired of this.
It got really quiet after that and everyone mumbled something under their breathes. I didn't really care what they said. The doctor came in.
"Would you like an epidural?"
"No." Harry said quickly.
"Are you the giving birth, I don't think so! GIVE ME THE DRUGS!" I said sternly.
The doctor nodded his head and walked out.
"I thought you were having a all natural birth?" Harry whined.
"I didn't know it would hurt so bad!"
The doctor came back in and I felt like a light shone down from heaven. I sat on the side of the bed and Harry kind of stood between my legs. He held my hands and I rested my head on his chest. I felt the needle enter my skin and I winced in pain. I hate needles. I laid back down and Harry was holding my hand. I looked at him and gave him a weak smile. He leaned over and kissed me on the forehead. The doctor walked in and saw that. He walked over to Harry and said:
"I'm guessing you're the father, yeah?"
"Yeah." Harry squeezed my hand and smiled.
"Ok, well you guys can have only one other person in the room, if you want any."
"I don't want to hurt anyone, but I only want Harry in the room. I love you guys."
There were chorus' of 'I love you too' and 'bye'.
The doctor got down there and told me I was dialated 12 centimetres and I was ready.
"You're going to push for 10 seconds. When the 10 seconds is up, you'll stop and breathe for 5, then push for then again. Ready?"
I nodded. I'm readier then I'll ever be. I grabbed Harrys arm and was cussing and screaming as the doctor started counting.
"Ready? 1 2 3 4 5..."
Harry was silently screaming because I was digging my nails into him.
I felt like the grand canyon just came out of my vagine. But usually theirs crying when a babys born. Why wasn't my baby crying? What's going on. Harry quicly cut the umbilical cord and the doctors took my baby into a different room.
"WHERE ARE YOU TAKING MY BABY? WHERE ARE YOU TAKING HER? I WANT MY BABY!"
Harry put his arm around me and I grabbed the collar of his shirt. Tears were welling in my eyes.
"WHERE ARE THEY TAKING OUR BABY HARRY? WHERE ARE THEY TAKING HER?" My head dropped onto his chest and I let everything out. He put his arms arounf me and rested them on my back. He started rubbing circles. I had his shirt in my fists. I wanted to know. I needed answers. Everyone came flooding into the room. I guess they heard my screams.
"The unbilical cord was wrapped around her head." A tear treamed down Harrys cheek. I felt it fall into my hair.
"WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME THAT?" I screamed into his chest.
He didn't have a answer. He just squeezed me tighter. I felt a lot of hands on my back and things being whispered to me. I couldn't make them out. The doctor came back in and told everyone that they had to go back to the waiting room except for Harry. They all exited the room.
"I'm sorry to inform you, but your baby girl has died. The umbilical cord wrapped around her neck and we did everything in our power to get her to breathe but It just didn't look good. I'm so sorry this happened."
*Really loud crying noise. I didn't know any letters that would make that sound*
Tears were falling uncontrollably from my face. I couldn't stop them.
"Baby, listen to me, we will get through this."
"I can't do it again Harry." I managed to say between sobbs.
Harry sniffled and kissed the top of my head.
"We'll get through this."
We were able to leave a couple hours later. We said our goodbyes to everyone and the car ride home was silent. We got back to the house and I walked upstairs and into our room. I got pyjamas on and went strait to bed.
I woke up the next morning and Harry was next to me. He smelt like beer. Heavily. He must've drank last night after I went to bed. I got out of bed and walked to the door. I opened it silently, trying not to wake Harry. I walked past the bedroom next to our and the door was cracked. It was pink. Everywhere. This is why Harry took me out yesteday. He was having someone do this for me. Tears came flowing back into my eyes. I slowly walked into the room and touched and picked up everything in the room. Wondering if this is what I'd be doing if she was with us right now. I picked up the rocking chair in the corner and threw it at the wall. I let the tears fall from my eyes, not caring to wipe them. It his the wall and broke apart with a loud boom. I took all the picture frames off the wall and smashed them. I ripped the shelves off the wall. There needed to be no trace of her. Just as I was about to throw the toy-chest Harry came rushing into the room. He ran over to me and I let my body go limp. I was crying so hard. I couldn't hold back. Harrys body was shaking, along with mine. We slowly lowered to the floor and I was still wrapped in his arms
"I can't do it anymore."