Constant | Louis Tomlinson

[ COMPLETED ] ** CURRENTLY UNDERGOING EDITING DUE TO AMATEUR WRITING AND MISTAKES ** ||||| Tarin was a typical girl. She was enjoying her last year of high school, with her few close friends. She had never thought much about boys, she focused on her academics. With graduation only two months away, and university starting in four months, she had all her focus on her future career, that was until she met this boy. This boy who was like no other. This boy who would steal her heart. This boy who would change her life forever. ||||| Warning: There are scenes of sexual content, foul language, self-harm, drug use, underage alcohol use, and violence in this fan fiction. ||||| Louis Tomlinson ||||| Also can be found on wattpad, where I follow back

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82. The Beginning of the End

 

Day of the Styles’ wedding

 

— Louis’ POV —

 

The morning had gone by so quickly. It was like every minute that passed was a second. Bridesmaids, groomsmen, the planner, family members and other guests, and various staff members were running around like chickens with their heads cut off preparing for that moment when the bride would take her walk down the aisle to meet her groom. 

 

There were a few minor glitches this morning. I believe that one of the limos carrying a few of the bridesmaids seemed to get lost, something happened with the flowers, and I faintly overheard some of the bridesmaids bitching about some issue with their dresses. But other than these minor setbacks, the day had so far gone off without many problems. 

 

And now here I was, standing in front of all of these people, beside the groom, watching as the bridesmaids made their way down the aisle. All five of us watched as the first four bridesmaids made the walk down the white carpet. 

 

And then she took her first step through the doorway. She was wearing this long gown; her hair was pulled up into this messy, but still strikingly beautiful way. I’m pretty sure my ribs were bruised from the pounding of my heart within my chest at the sight of her. I nearly swallowed my tongue when she turned her face up from the bouquet within her hands and smiled… at me. Caycia smiled at me, and then her eyes shyly looked to my left, to Zayn who was standing at the end of us five. He simply stared back at her, and the smile on her face slowly faded and she took her place next to where the bride would soon stand.

 

After a few more moments, the Bridal Chorus began, and Penny made her way down the aisle. It was such a beautiful moment that I noticed tears begin to well up in Harry’s eyes. 

 

The ceremony went by awfully quickly, not that I was complaining. It was hard to pay attention to what was even going on because I couldn’t take my eyes off of her - off of Caycia. It was so different seeing her this way. She looked so beautiful. She never stopped smiling the entire ceremony. But that was it, she wasn’t actually smiling. The thing was… I’ve known her for years and I know that the one little dimple pops in when she is actually smiling - when she’s actually happy. But as she stood there, watching her friends getting married, I knew she was happy for them, but I could tell that she - herself - was in fact, very unhappy. 

 

The officiant gave the queue, and Harry lovingly kissed his bride. The two then stood before the crowd in the church to signify the ending of the ceremony. The new bride and groom then made their way out of the church.

 

I ended up with Caycia linked onto my arm, as I walked her down the aisle and out of the church. Though her small little hand was wrapped around my tuxedo-covered arm, I could feel the electricity flowing throughout my entire arm, straight to my speeding heart. I swear I felt her fingers gently squeeze my arm, but when I looked down at her face, she was wearing that fake smile as she looked at the guests within the church. 

 

The small amount of time between the wedding ceremony and the reception was spent with all of us groomsmen and bridesmaids taking pictures with the bride and groom. The entire time I stood there, wishing so badly that it was myself in the centre of these pictures with Caycia standing beside me in a shockingly beautiful white dress. She still looked gorgeous in that long, flowing dress she was wearing, but it was like every time I looked at her, her dress was suddenly this pearly white.

 

Eventually we all ended up in the reception space and after about an hour of speeches and rehearsed dances, and an exquisite meal, the bar opened and all of the guests began dancing and chatting with the other guests. I sipped on my beer, and basically sat there staring at the other happy couples dancing on the floor because the only thing I could think about was dancing with Caycia. As I finished my beer, I stood up and walked to the bar to get another. The bartender handed me another bottle and I turned around. The moment I turned, I noticed Caycia stand from her spot at the table and make her way across the dance floor. I followed suit with my beer in hand.

 

“Hi, mom, dad… it’s good seeing you!” I heard Caycia say as she stepped towards her parents who were closely sitting together at a table near the exit. Her parents coldly looked at her before turning towards each other, completely ignoring their own daughter. It made me stop in my tracks, literally, right in the middle of the dance floor. There was a moment of silence, and I imagine Caycia was trying to keep some composure. She gathered herself before speaking again, “how’s Sean doing?” 

 

“Well not that you’d know, but he’s been out of a coma for days. He’s started to heal now,” her mother replied rather rudely. I stood myself a good enough distance away where I could hear everything they were saying, but where they wouldn’t realize that I was eavesdropping. 

 

Caycia’s mouth dropped open and she stood there for a moment, like a fish out of water, unsure of what to respond and so all that came out of her mouth was, “what?”

 

Her mother stood from the table and moved closer to Caycia, “you never came to visit us.” She said so quietly that I almost didn’t hear it.

 

“Maybe that’s because over all of the years since I’ve left home, you never bothered to contact me! And you have no excuse because I always sent letters whenever I moved and during the holidays!” Caycia was fuming, and though she wasn’t yelling, she said it with the sternest voice I’d ever heard fall from her lips.

 

Her father then stood up from the table and took his place behind his wife, protectively. “How dare you talk to your mother that way?” His voice was hard and he was staring at his daughter with such disappointment in his eyes. 

 

“How dare you treat me as if I’m not your daughter? Ignoring me in public, really?” Caycia’s arms were flailing around furiously.

 

Her mother took a step forward with an angry expression on her face, “are you doing drugs?” She grabbed Caycia’s arms as if she was looking for track marks but Caycia hastily pulled her arms away from her mother and wrapped them around herself.

 

“How dare you ask me that!” Caycia said much louder. I noticed Harry stand up from where he’d been sitting, talking with some family. He fixed the button on his tuxedo and began heading toward the direction of the raised voices.

 

“It’s like you’re making up some story… like you think something else happened when in reality we all know the truth here.” Her mother said, “your father and myself sent dozens of letters, emails, and we even made several phone calls to try and contact you when you were living at your boyfriend Zayn’s house!” 

 

I nearly dropped the beer bottle within my hands. “E-excuse me?” Caycia responded.

 

“We got your number from Penny, months ago… we called a few times. That boy Zayn took our messages and said he’d pass them right along to you.” Suddenly her mother’s voice was much more gentle, as if she realized that her daughter wasn’t lying. 

 

And suddenly it was as if Caycia and I put the tattered pieces together at the same time. Caycia’s parents had been contacting her for months, and Zayn had been hiding it from her, as if he wanted to create issues between the three of them. Caycia’s eyebrows turned down and her eyes started frantically scanning the room. I watched as her breathing became extremely erratic until she finally turned from her parents and began stomping across the room. She was heading straight for Zayn and his date.

 

“Tarin Clemons!” Her mother yelled out, “don’t you dare walk away from me when I’m speaking to you!”

 

As soon as Harry heard it, he stopped. Literally stopped dead in his tracks. I could see his brain running at a million miles an hour. I began running after Caycia, who was still practically stomping over to Zayn’s table. Zayn sat there, laughing with his date, completely unaware of what was going on. 

 

“What the hell is going on?” Her father asked, and they both stood there awkwardly before turning toward each other and beginning their own conversation. 

 

“How dare you?” I hear her spit at Zayn. Just as Zayn looks up, I arrive at the table. Right behind Caycia.

 

“What?” Zayn asks, oblivious to everything that was going on.

 

“What’d you do with my letters?” Caycia yells.

 

Zayn stands up from the table, raising his hands defensively, “whoa, whoa. Can we talk about this out in the hall?” He walks around the table and grabs her arm, dragging her out into the hallway.

 

They walk out into the hall together and I’m tempted to follow, but I can’t find a legitimate excuse if they asked why I was eavesdropping. Suddenly Harry races past me, heading straight towards the hallway and I instinctively follow. 

 

Harry rounds the corner to find Zayn and Caycia standing there. Caycia is fuming, and Zayn’s typical Zayn - calm and relaxed. “You’re Tarin?” Harry steps in-between her and Zayn and I’m still hot on his heels. “So you…” Suddenly Harry and Zayn were facing me. “You’re the Tarin that Louis was in love with?” Harry asked.

 

Caycia looks straight at me, “yes.” She practically whispers out. Harry suddenly takes a step towards me.

 

“How could you do this?” Harry says to me.

 

“Do what? We dated years ago.” I replied.

 

“I know it didn’t end there,” he whispers, referring to mine and Caycia’s brief lapse of judgement in the closet, months earlier.

 

Suddenly Caycia speaks up and I take a step around Harry, “Zayn, Zayn… I’m sorry. I know, I should’ve told you earlier. I wanted to on so many occasions, trust me, but it… there was really just no right time to say it.”

 

“I already knew.” Zayn replies, cooly.

 

“What?” Both Caycia and I say in sync.

 

“From the moment I met you, I realized that Louis acted weird whenever he was around you. There was these looks of regret, of longing. I could tell from the first time I ever met you, that he loved you. Yes, I began dating you, and yes I did fall in love with you Caycia, but he wasn’t the reason I broke it off… Over the months of us dating, I thought that Louis had fallen out of love with you. He was distant, and so I guess I’d basically forgotten about the whole ordeal. But then the accident happened, and it… it changed me. There were parts of me that I didn’t understand anymore, I felt like I didn’t understand who I was anymore. And it was like every time I was with you, something awful happened and something about us just didn’t feel right anymore. Every time I was with you it was another blackout, another fight, another thing that I didn’t have the energy to deal with anymore, and I couldn’t do it anymore. And so I distanced myself from you because… Caycia… I have fallen out of love with you.” 

 

“What about the letters, the emails, the phone calls?” I interrupt, selfishly.

 

“I admit it… I ripped up the letters, I deleted all of the emails before you could read them, and anytime your parents, Sean, or anyone else important called, I never bothered to pass on the message.” Zayn admits, and suddenly anger has torn up Caycia’s face.

 

“What?” She spits.

 

“I’m sorry,” he attempts to grab her hand, trying to console her but she tears her hand away from his as if his touch is acid. “I was just so madly in love with you, and your mother would always call and talk about how much she missed you at home, and how Sean had been travelling all over Europe and how badly she wished you’d come back home… I got worried. I’d figured that once you heard your mother’s voice over the phone, or her encouraging words in an email or letter that you’d immediately get on the next flight back to America.”

 

“Well you didn’t exactly love me, so why the hell would you do that?” Caycia replies.

 

“I did love you, it’s just like… it’s like the accident jostled my brain so badly that I don’t remember that. And now that I’m not blinded by my love for you, I can see just how much he loves you… And just how much you love him.” Zayn says in surprise to everyone around him.

 

“What?” Both Caycia and I say in sync… again.

 

He grabs Caycia’s hands again, “though I’m not in love with you anymore, I still love you and I know that we can still be friends.” Zayn spills out, much to everyone’s surprise. 

 

“He’s right about you two,” Harry says. Tears are pouring from Caycia’s eyes as she stares at Harry and I. She furiously uses the backs of her hands to wipe the stray tears before running out of the room.

 

“I don’t understand,” I mutter out.

 

Zayn takes a step towards me, “it’s because of you, Louis. She’s just going to break up with the next guy, and the next… because of you. Every single relationship she’s in won’t be successful, because of you. She’s going to keep doing it because for some reason, you’re the one she’s supposed to be with.”

 

I look at Zayn as if he’s just grown eight heads. He was this sullen, angry, character who I was afraid was going to kill me for almost sleeping with his girlfriend months ago, and now here he is, telling me to go after her. Telling me that the two of us were meant to be. This might just be the strangest night I’ll ever experience.

 

Zayn places his hand upon my shoulder, “I know, I know… Just promise me one thing, yeah?” I look back up at him, “don’t let her get away.” And with that, Zayn leaves Harry and I standing in the hallway.

 

“If you don’t tell her how you feel Louis, she’ll end up with some other guy. She won’t ever love another man like she loves you, but she will settle for some other guy that will tell her all of the things she wanted to hear from you, but never did.” Harry says to me before patting me on the shoulder and walking back into the reception space.

 

 

— Zayn’s POV —

 

It wasn’t like I wanted it to end like this, but you don’t fuck with destiny. 

 

It’s true - I did know about Louis and Caycia, but it was a lie when I told them that I’d known since the moment I met her. I was reminded about it all that one day after coming home from the accident. It was that day when some man had phoned me, telling me that the audio recording had been confirmed - some audio file that proved that Caycia had cheated on me with Louis… that they’d both been lying to me for months. 

 

At first, yes, I was very angry. But eventually I came to realize that Caycia was in love with someone else more than she was in love with me. She was in love with Louis and it took a lot from me to realize that I was being selfish by keeping two of my best friends from being together. And often relationships fail because one was being loved to much, while the other wasn’t being loved enough, which was exactly our case.

 

Like I said, it was destiny… I knew they were meant to be together, as painful for me as it was to handle. 

 

The worst part about all of this was that I was still in love with Caycia, and I feared that I always would be, but I needed to be the better man and step aside, which is why I broke up with her. I could tell that I had broken her heart, but she was unaware of the fact that it broke my heart into even smaller pieces. The day when I went to a basketball game, I came back and discovered that she’d moved out. All reminders of her were gone in my house, however all of the memories remained. 

 

And of course the next time I hung out with the guys, I’d come to learn that she had moved in… with Louis. Pushing her away from me, lead her right to Louis’ arms. 

 

It will be hard, seeing her everyday, I know that. However, I can only hope that eventually my feelings for her will slowly die off, or that I fill find another woman to love who will love me back in the same way. I do realize that all of this will be tough - hell, it’ll probably be one of the most difficult things I’ll ever have to endure, but I know that this is for the best. She deserves to be with someone who makes her happy. Somebody who doesn’t complicate her life. Someone who won’t hurt her. He’s the better guy. 

 

More than anything, I want to see that smile on her face - the one where her little dimple shows, and I know that she can only be that happy if she’s with Louis. 

 

 

 

 

 

A/N: I just wanted to say thank you to everyone for sticking with me even though I've been so scattered lately with updates, and for almost 17k reads on my first ever fanfiction, and for the lovely comments lately. I'm not sure if anyone reads these, but it's important to read this next part because this fanfiction is coming to an end. After this chapter, there will be two more and then it will be over forever. I do apologize if you've just read this and thought it would be going on for a while more, but sadly it's coming to an end after 80+ chapters and over a year and 8 months. So thank you for always being supportive, I really can't express in words how much it means. xx

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