**** MATURE CONTENT ****
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-- Louis' POV --
I stared at my lifeless reflection in the mirror. My eyes had dark black circles under them, my hair was a dishevelled mess, I hadn't showered in days, and there was shit lying everywhere around my house.
Want to know what the worst part was?
The man staring back at me in the mirror was the reason she wasn't there.
And that was exactly it.
I'd been a mess since Caycia and I had the fight. I hadn't been able to sleep, I hadn't been able to eat. I had barely done anything over the last few days except sit staring at the TV like a robot.
It had occurred to me that this was probably exactly what Caycia had felt that day I had left her. And that just made it ten times worse.
I felt like shit. I felt like someone had ripped the life out of me. Like someone had pulled my still beating heart out of my chest and had been stomping on it for days now.
I have spent hours each day, staring at the tattoo written across my lower abdomen.
For me you'll always be eighteen, and beautiful
And dancing away with my heart.
Remembering, reminiscing in the times when I could call Caycia mine. Back in a simpler time when our biggest worries were about passing measly tests in high school. Now life was complicated, it was about heartbreak and loss. There wasn't much to be happy about in life at the moment.
Some dreams aren't meant to come true. I learned that from the best Louis, I learned that from you.
It replayed over and over in my mind. I honestly didn't believe she loved me anymore and that's what really tore me up inside. I was afraid that I'd finally lost her.
And then my mind would rewind, thinking back to a few weeks ago when she confessed her love for me. It was back when I had walked in on her naked while she was changing.
It was the day she had revealed her scars, the scars that I felt as though were all my fault. The scars that gave me this undeniable, incomprehensible amount of guilt.
She showed me a tattoo, on her lower abdomen.
"I got it to remind me of the love I feel for you. I'll never forget what we shared, how much I love you. It's something I can't deny. It's something that I can't let go. I can't control it."
I brushed my fingers against my lips, remembering the passionate kiss we shared.
And then as if that wasn't torture enough, my mind began reminiscing to two years back. On the night of the party when Caycia and I had ground against each other and she pulled me into the bathroom...
I remember running my hand down her side, over her waist, and down to the back of her knee. She'd been grinding on me earlier and I couldn't take it anymore, I needed her. I pulled her leg up and hooked it around my waist. I remembered just how badly my dick was throbbing.
I remember it just like yesterday, her leaning up to kiss me. She was drunk but it felt so incredible that there was no stopping it. I remembered my dick getting harder, and how badly I wished to take her right there on that floor.
I remember leaning down further towards her, slipping my tongue between her plump lips. Plump lips that I wished so badly were around me. I remember twirling my tongue in her mouth and her moaning loudly.
Next I fiercely moved my hands down her sides, and she whimpered when I squeezed her bottom. I'll never forget it. I remember slowly shifting her dress up, continuing to kiss her.
I need to stop.
Now here I am today, reminiscing about our sex life, with a hard on. "Fuck," I murmured to myself. I was glad I was alone and that no one was here to see me in this state.
"I... I... I think... I love you..."
Here we go, time to reminisce yet again.
"I love you too Louis," she had told me. It was after we'd made love. I remember blurting it out. It came out of nowhere and I remember the panic. So sudden. Fuck was I ever scared.
And then when I heard those sweet words come off her lips all of the panic melted. I remember that feeling of total and complete comfort.
The feeling of love.
I lifted the hem of my shirt, staring at the tattoo once again.
And that's when it occurred to me.
Caycia and I have tattoos dedicated to one another.
In the same exact positions on our bodies.
It was a sign. A sign I needed.
A sign to not give up.
A love like ours wasn't just something that disappeared. Our love was A Walk to Remember true till death romance.
I wasn't just going to give up that easily. I know she loves me. I know that she needs me. I know she can't live without me. I know I'm the only one who can make her truly and completely happy. I love her more than anyone on this entire planet.
And when you love someone, you don't give up.