-- Caycia's POV --
For moments we stand there, staring at each other, unsure of how to begin. I can't seem to find the right words to speak, and neither can Louis. He just stands there with his hand still resting on the door, looking down at me in the way that only he can.
My heart is beating impossibly fast within my chest, I'm afraid I might faint. I decide to look at his face because maybe it'll calm me. I can feel his beautiful sea blue eyes watching me as I trail my eyes up his body to finally rest on his features. His lips are parted, almost as if he wants to speak, but he's staring at me, silent.
What do I do? What do I say? What if I kissed him? Is he thinking the same thing I'm thinking? What if I tell him about how much I love him and want him and he tells me he doesn't feel the same way? He wants me back, doesn't he?
"Hi," he says to break the silence. It's a simple word, but it's enough to break me out of the spell I've been trapped in for the last two minutes that I've been staring at him.
Louis takes a step back to allow me to walk into his apartment. "We need to talk," I say to him without looking at him. Instead I put all of my focus into walking towards his living room, because it's almost as if I can’t focus on anything else but him. His scent fills the entire flat and I inhale it like it's the oxygen I need to breathe.
"About what?" I can hear the nervousness overwhelming Louis' soft voice.
I take a few more steps further and stare at the picture on the TV. There's some movie playing, I'm not sure what it is but there's a woman frantically running across an open field to the open arms of a man. It's almost too clichéd to watch, but I realize that that's basically me at this moment, running into Louis' arms. I stare at the TV for a moment, watching the tears as they stream down the woman's face; the man as he desperately grabs her face, kissing her passionately.
I turn around and face Louis. He's still standing near the doorway. He's just standing there staring at me, waiting for me to tell him what we need to talk about. What I need to say. What I need to hear him say. And what needs to be said. I can't bring myself to say what I really need to say, and my eyes slowly wander down to stare at his bare little toes.
"Did you read it?" I ask vaguely. My brain is screaming at my mouth to say what needs to be said but it’s like there's this locked cage around the important things in my brain and I can't find the key.
I imagine he's pursing his lips, staring at me in confusion, "read what?" I hear his voice.
"The book," I whisper. When I turn my head slightly I see a familiar binding resting on the hard marble of the kitchen counter. I saunter over to it, grabbing it within my hands. My fingers caress the tattered binding. He's only had this book for maybe a week, how could the binding be worn out so much? My fingers find a deeper dent within the binding, near the final pages of the book. I flip the book open to its most read spot. I thumb through the pages until I find exactly what I'm looking for.
“Her laughter is a question I want to spend the rest of my life answering.” - Louis Tomlinson, age 18.
I'll never forget the day when you uttered these words to me, you shouldn't either.
I brush my fingers along the words, memorizing them with my fingers. I hear a low throaty hum come from directly behind me. "Did you really say this about me?" My voice comes out as barely a sound.
"Yes," he whispers into my ear.
"Why didn't she ever tell me about this?" I ask aloud to myself. "Why didn’t you ever say this to me?" I ask him.
"I don't know, love. I guess I was just too shy," I imagine his shoulders falling into a shrug.
"I would've loved to hear you tell me this," I say as my fingers continue caressing the page.
"Is that so?" His voice is once again just loud enough for me to hear it. His breath fans over the back of my neck when he takes a large breath of air, "and why is that?" I shiver from the heat that courses through my veins. I want to just turn around and kiss him. He leans even closer towards me, gently resting his hands upon the top of the marble slab.
"Because I loved you," I blurt out without looking at him. I turn around in his arms, "I love you."
His eyes light up and his lips come apart slightly. He's staring at me like I'm seventeen again. He's giving me the exact same look he gave me when we first uttered our 'I love you's,' when we first made love… I reach up and grab his face within my hands. "I've always loved you Louis. It's always been you, you know that right?"
He doesn't say anything he just stares at me - his sea blue eyes piercing into my soul. "When Zayn lost me, he went out to basketball games with his friends, he got more tattoos, he got a haircut. But when you lost me, you didn't leave your house for days, you drank yourself into a stupor." He visibly flinches at my words as they bring up a painful memory, "I don't just love you Louis, I love the way you love me."
He smiles at me then. I lower my hands from his face. He then puts his hands on my face, leaning in close to talk to me, "my mother always told me that one day I'd kiss a girl and I'd immediately know that those are the lips I'd want to kiss for the rest of my life." Louis leans in so quickly that my brain can't even register what's going on. I feel the electricity, the fire, flowing rapidly through my veins the moment his lips touch mine.
And it's like suddenly the world around us has washed away. Nothing else matters but our lips, our two hearts that have been brought together once again. That part of me that's been missing these last few months is finally back. He is back.
5 YEARS LATER
I rest my hands on the sink in front of me as I stare out the window. He's out there, kicking around a ball with Lily. Lily's running around, smiling as she plays with her dad. I can't believe that she's already three, it's almost as if we just had her yesterday.
Louis picks up Lily playfully and throws the small child over his shoulder. She's screaming with joy as she pats her dad's shoulder. The two of them work their way into the house. He carefully places our daughter down on the floor and she immediately grabs her teddy off of the kitchen chair. She takes slow and easy steps into the living room and sits down to play with some of her toys.
Louis and I stand in the kitchen, watching her. Louis takes a few steps forward and places his hands on my belly. "How's he doing?" I feel the familiar kick of our son, which Louis feels as well. His face erupts into a massive smile.
"Just fine," I smile. Louis leans forward and kisses me gently. I hear Lily squeal with excitement and when Louis breaks away from me we learn that she's squealing at us. He grabs my hand and we walk forward to join our daughter on the living room floor.
It's been five years since Louis and I shared that kiss in his flat - since we got back together, for good. The next day we'd told all of our friends and our family, and within the month I'd moved into his flat. A year later, we had our wedding and within a few months I was pregnant with our first - Lily. And now I was eight months pregnant, with our second child - a son.
The boys had amicably decided to take a break right before Lily was born. They had all felt that things were just getting a little too hectic for them. They have been secretly working on another album though, but it wasn't like they were going to do it like they did in their teens. Some of them had their own families now and it was too much to travel all around the world touring. I know that they'll have probably several reunion tours, but that won't be until the kids are older.
Penny and Harry moved out of their flat, and found a nice family home out in the suburbs. They were raising their three children - twin girls and a little baby boy. I'm sure they'll have more children eventually, but for now they're happy with the three kids they have. I know that Harry wants to have another child, and I'm sure that Penny will be convinced.
Penny's book became a fairly big success. I mean, it wasn't huge like Twilight or anything, but for a small writer publishing her first book from a small English town it was quite the success. Not to mention that it was a fairly big success in Louis' and my life, considering it brought us back together. Penny was now working on her second book, and no it wasn't about Louis and I.
Harry had never stopped with his music - despite the group break. He'd been writing songs for other big artists, simply because it was something he loved to do.
There wasn't all that much new with Niall. He had gotten a girlfriend and they'd been seeing each other for several months now but it wasn't like they were getting married anytime soon - neither of them were ready for that. Niall had been doing some of his own things musically as well, he'd appeared as a guitarist and vocalist in several charity concert events, as well as a few tributes to other older bands. He had also moved out of his and Liam's flat, finding a larger, more private place of his own.
Liam was with that girl I'd ran into awkwardly that one time when I had stopped by their flat after just breaking up with Zayn. I had met her officially about a month after Louis and I got back together. I had learned her name was Danielle. Liam and her had actually split for a while, and he'd dated another girl for a while, but he actually broke up with her and suddenly Danielle was back in the picture. I was happy for them, really. She was a great girl and they were really happy together - in fact, they'd just gotten married three weeks ago. Liam hadn't done much musically, he'd actually begun racing in the odd Formula 1 race every other month or so. He was good.
And then there was Zayn. Things between Zayn and I were rough for a while after he'd told me about what he'd done. He avoided me for a long time, and I avoided him. Honestly, I believe that might've been part of the reason why the band had separated, because things were so difficult between Zayn, and Louis and I. Zayn had disappeared from our group for around eight months or so. He released his own songs, and went off doing his own press. He stayed very active in the music scene, but outside of that he was extremely private. One day I'd actually heard one of his new songs on the radio and as I listened to it, I realized just how heartbreakingly sad it was.
It was at that point that I realized he was still in love with me. I had never realized that everything he'd said to me that night at the wedding was to protect me, and to protect Louis. He was putting our needs in front of his own. When I told Louis about it, we had decided it would be best to sit him down and have a talk with him, and so we did. Airing everything out seemed to fix things with us. I mean, it wasn't like it used to be because it took Zayn a while to get over his feelings towards me.
Ultimately Zayn ended up meeting a few girls here and there throughout the years but no one girl has stuck around for too long. I believe that was his reason for working non-stop with his music. He just released his own album - that skyrocketed to the top of the charts. He released the album under his own label name, a label which has signed many hot upcoming artists.
Things with my parents were extremely rough at first. They didn't believe it when I told them about how Zayn had kept letters, emails, and phone calls from me. It took two years for things to really be patched up. They did attend my wedding with Louis, and they do visit every once in a while for Lily, but things never really have been the same. Sean has been doing excellent since leaving the hospital, and his wife's been doing excellent caring for him and their newborn son, here in London.
As for everyone else, they're doing just fine.
Lily giggles when Louis' lanky fingers begin tickling at her sides. Sitting here, staring at the love of my life, and our glowing, beautifully healthy little girl in this beautiful home, with my growing belly I can't help but think I've hit the jackpot when it comes to life. I can sit here and say that I'm irrevocably happy with my life.
I know that Louis is someone who will wake up early and watch every sunrise with me until the sunset of my life. I know that I have a healthy child, with another on the way. Who knows? Maybe Louis and I will have a third child. It really doesn't matter what happens from here on out because I have a beautiful family, and a wonderful group of friends that will be there to support me until the second my heart stops beating. My life is still beyond extremely hectic, and crazy, but there's one thing I am sure of.
I know that in this hectic, crazy life Louis will forever be my constant.