Caycia was still lying in bed, staring at the wall . . . not talking, just thinking. I was worried. I even had the doctor come in, all he said was it was simply jet lag from the flight. It described the strange behavior which she was possessing . . . maybe I should've waited a day or so before introducing the boys, maybe she was just overwhelmed with everything: the flight, the boys, a new city, moving in.
Interrupting my thoughts she sat up in bed, using her arms to push herself up. "Did I ever tell you about my past?" She said, surprising me with her bluntness.
I stuttered, worried about what words would fall from her lips next, "u-uh . . . no love."
"Well, I want to tell you . . ." She trailed off, still seeming fairly emotionless.
"I'd love to hear about it," I said to her, gently rubbing circles on her arm.
She bit her lip and went over her thoughts before beginning, "well, I just really want to tell you about my past relationships . . . one in particular that was really serious." I nodded my head, egging her to continue on. Caycia sighed before continuing, "I dated this guy in high school - in my final year - and things were really serious between us. We dated for a few months, we were seriously in love. He was the first guy I ever fell in love with, and that's something I can never change Zayn." She looked at me then for the first time since I'd walked in the room, and I could feel my nervousness playing across my features as I was scared what the woman who I was madly in love with, was going to say next about the man who she first loved. "There is no denying that I was in love with him, but before I could fall any deeper, it ended even more abruptly than it began. He suddenly left, without giving me any reason whatsoever. He just left me there on grad with words of poison, going into me like thorns that took me months to pull out." My face hardened, mad with the man who had been so cruel to her. I rubbed soothing circles on her back, nodding my head for her to continue. "I fell into a real deep depression. I never heard from him. I didn't know if he was okay. I knew nothing except how bad I felt. The pain of pulling those poisoned thorns of his words out of my skin. I began skipping my university classes, my grades began to fall. I stopped talking to my friends from high school. I spent my 19th birthday with a bottle of cheap whiskey. Marissa found me blacked out in our dorm that night. I even began cutting."
With that, she lifted her shirt, pulling it off. She was sitting there in her lacy bra, but I paid no mind. Instead, I softly ran my fingers over the scars which so visibly marked her sides. How had I never noticed them before?
She stood up, pulling off her pajama shorts and throwing them off the bed, standing before me in her underwear. She had scars marking her hips too. She pulled at the sides of her underwear, helping me to trace my fingers on the battlefield which was her hips. The scars here were deeper, more apparent. I frowned, absolutely heartbroken at the broken girl who stood before me, nearly naked and pouring her heart out to the boy who loved her. She sat down on the bed beside me. I couldn't form words, instead I continued to touch her softly, feeling awful for all of the roughness I had displayed before.
"It was a really dark time in my life, and it was extremely difficult for me to pull myself out of that hole." She said, staring into my eyes. The sadness was still pulling at her features, tears silently falling from her eyes. I hadn't realized I was crying until I felt her soft hand on my cheek, rubbing the tears from my eyes and making my cheeks wet. "But somehow, I pulled myself out. Marissa helped me. We saved up money, moved out to LA, and began a life which I now love. I cut my hair, I dyed it, I got tattoos and I changed my name. I ran from the old life I hated, to be smacked in the face with this new life which is beyond incredible."
That's when her whole mood began to lift. "I got this tattoo, which is a symbol of the love I have for my family," she said, pointing to her infinity sign, "without them, I never would have made it. I have them to thank for this life. And I have this tattoo," She jutted her hips upwards and pulled the band on her panties down to show me the beautiful daisy on her lower stomach. "This is a symbol of my old life. The life where I fell in love with a guy who then ripped my heart out. This is a symbol of my strength. But it's also a symbol of my favorite flower, the daisy. But then again, if I think about it, I guess it's also a symbol of the beginning of our relationship." And then she smiled, turning to face me.
"Life is much better now. I'm with the man I love. And I'm moving in here, absolutely." I leaned forward, smiling along with her.
"I love you," she whispered.
"I love you too," I whispered back before leaning in to plant a soft kiss to her plump lips.