"Hey Bella, um, Brook has family business in France and won't be back till next week and I have to do a few things back at my place so, I called Zayn to stay with you. He is on his way right now." Liam said while walking out the door.
At this moment, I didn't care who was watching over me. My heart was about to pump out of my chest and my mind was jumbled with frustration and anger. Why was Harry gone? Why would he leave without saying goodbye? Is he coming back? When? Suddenly a wave of depression ran through my veins. It was like someone jabbed me in the heart several times in a row and then just left the knife there. I had become so accustomed to the feeling of love and safety because of Harry but, it just hit me that he is gone and possibly never coming back. I just sat on the couch wrapped in the silk blanket I'd been wrapped in for a while and stared at the floor.
"Liam. Did you tell him to leave?" The words fell out and I don't even remember thinking it.
"Uh, I'll see you later." He rushed out the door and my heart was in the pit of my stomach.
My eyes were swelling and I couldn't feel my heart beat anymore. It was like my body wasn't keeping pace with my brain and my thoughts.
After what felt like years, the doorbell rang and I knew Zayn was here so I got up and answered it.
"Are you okay? Liam said it was an emergency." He seemed worried but my facial expression remained blank.
"You are just babysitting a 19 year old girl. Its not an emergency."
"Um, are you sure you're alright? You look a little pale and emotionless." He grabbed both sides of my face examining my eyes-making sure I wasn't stoned or drunk.
"Do you want to see emotion? Well lets start with love. I'm falling in love with Harry. Now lets start showing anger. Some guy who seems like he wants to kill Harry bursts into his house demanding answers or something. Then there is fear. Fear that this creep could take me away from Harry and Brook and Liam and my family. Now there is sadness because Brook finds out I slept with Harry and she wants to kill him and I can't watch him get hurt again. Then I'm happy because Brook can finally make me smile by telling a really dirty but funny joke. Then there is more sadness because I find out Harry is gone. He is gone and he isn't coming back. Then I turn depressed because he is gone, Zayn. The person I am falling in love with just leaves me. Now I am a little angry because I find out Liam tells him to leave. Do you expect me to be civil and happy and full of emotion after all of this bullshit?" My mind was speaking for me now and hopefully he can put up with it because the company would be nice.
"Touché. " He said under his breath.
"Touché. I shouldn't expect you to be your usual self. I guess not after all this happening." He sighed.
"Oh. Sorry I kinda blew up on you. I'm pretty alone in this situation." I said, lowering my head, letting the thoughts of Harry back into my mind.
"You aren't alone. I came over didn't I?" And for the first time today, I smiled. It's exactly what I needed, to smile because if Harry was here, he would tell me to smile and to never stop.
"Anytime. Now what are we going to do for the next few days?" He smiled.
"You're staying until Brook gets back?" I grinned slightly at the thought of him staying here to watch over me.
"Do you think Liam is coming back after you confronted him about Harry?" We both laughed a little and it made more sense now that there was a space cleared from my everyday nonsense just for this week.
"Uh, I guess not. But I'm not leaving the house. So we can either watch movies or watch movies." I said with enthusiasm.
"Hmmm. Let's watch movies. Your pick first." I got up and looked at the cases and cases full of mine and Brooks' favorite movies. When I scanned across my all time favorite movie I could hear Zayn in the back coughing as though that was the one I should pick.
"Harry Potter?" I chuckled.
"Yeah it's one of my very favorites." With this, I put the movie in and I plopped on the couch, playfully stealing the blanket back from Zayn.
"Bella?" My eyes fluttered open and Zayn was sitting next to me, poking at my sides
"Hmm. Yeah?" I muttered.
"You have to be able to go to bed tonight so you have to stay awake. Put in the next movie?" I nodded and rose to my feet to put in the next Harry Potter movie. It was the fourth time I'm doing this so I'm pretty used to getting up and walking a few feet then walking back. After a few seconds of silence-besides me yawning- I felt hands snake around my waist. Suddenly I felt adrenaline run through my blood stream and before I knew it, I was wrapped around Zayn's waist, not releasing the lip lock between us.
Harry. This isn't Harry. It doesn't feel like Harry or taste like Harry, it isn't him. I pulled back and walked away a little, wiping my lips, not realizing what I just did.
"I'm sorry. I just can't do this. I'm sorry." I rushed away towards my keys. Where I was going? I don't know. Maybe Harry's.
"I'm sorry Zayn." His figure was slouched against the wall. Once he didn't reply I just left.
I didn't care if he was in there I just needed to get out of there before I made more mistakes. My hands were shaking and when I pulled into Harry's driveway my heart was sinking. I just cheated on Harry with Zayn. I feel like I'm gonna throw up my heart.
When I got inside of the flat, I headed straight for his bedroom. Our clothes were still scattered across the floor, the scent of his cologne still lingering in the air-making me shiver. My fingertips touched the unmade bed and the images of last night were clouding my thoughts but, when I let go, the images of this morning were floating around my brain, making me want to break down and cry.
I walked out to the kitchen to grab a water or something to hydrate myself. My eyes spotted the vodka and the rum and I thought about how easily this could take the pain away. I was used to having a few drinks and being able to stop but, it never took pain away. It was only when I would drink so much that pain wouldn't exist. If I drink, I'll forget everything that I did and I pray to god I don't ever remember it. My fingers gripped the bottle and I popped off the stopper then started chugging.
My feet traveled to Harry's room and I sat by the window, drinking and forgetting-all so painless.