24. Please Don't
I woke up and checked the time on my phone. It was after 12p.m and I knew no one was in the apartment. I walked out to the kitchen and looked around in the drawer for a knife. I knew I shouldn't have been looking for one but I had to, it was the only way I would feel good about myself. I quickly ate a banana and went back into my room. I locked the door and sat on the ground with the knife in my hand. For a while I just stared at the knife and eventually I lifted it up. I held it over my left wrist but just as I was about to slice my skin I saw my tattoo. Zayn. I sobbed uncontrollably, what was I doing? He might not want to talk to me now but if he knew I had cut again it would hurt him even more. I put the knife down and pulled my knees up to my chest. I cried until I couldn't cry anymore.
Niall had come to see me today again and he forced me to come over to his apartment. I knew she was staying there but he told me I wouldn't see her because she only came out for food or when she needed to go to the toilet. After a while I agreed to go. I put on jeans, a t-shirt, sunglasses and a beanie. We arrived at the apartment and he unlocked the door. I walked in and sat on the couch. After a while I got up to get a glass of water, as I was walking to the kitchen I saw her. Her hair was all over the place, she had on old sweats and an old sweatshirt, her eyes were red and puffy and in her hand she had a knife. That's when I went up to her. "What are you doing?" "Nothing," she sniffed. "You cut yourself didn't you?" "No." "Then why do you have a knife?" "You don't care." "I do Em's." "I was going to cut myself yeah, but I didn't. Just leave me alone." "Why were you going to cut yourself?" "Because I hurt you, because you don't want to talk to me. I'm sorry Zayn." "Why did you stop?" "I saw your name and realized I would be hurting you even more if I did." I grabbed the knife from her hand and walked to the kitchen with it. "Please don't do this Em's."
<Pretty pretty please don't you ever ever feel like your less than, less than perfect. Pretty pretty please if you ever ever feel like your nothing, you are perfect to me>