23. How Long Has It Been?
*5 days later*
I put out another cigarette and sinked back into the couch. I didn't know how long it had been since I had talked to her but I didn't care. The only thing that made me know another day had passed was the text every night from Emily to say goodnight. She always texted me right before she went to sleep and I always texted her as soon as I woke up when we were apart but I couldn't reply to her. I hadn't been to work since everything, I just couldn't stand looking at Harry, knowing that he kissed her- even that he saw her naked made me feel sick. I had planned to propose someday but now I wasn't sure.
I sent him a goodnight text again and of course received no reply. I didn't care though, I just wanted him to know that I thought about him. I lay in the bed and scrolled through my whole text history with Zayn. The last one I had from him said: i'll be home soon. I love you xxxx
I scrolled through the rest of the texts and I cried. I made a stupid mistake and now I was paying the price. I knew what I had to do, it was the only way I would feel good about myself. I wasn't going to do it now though, I would do it tomorrow when no one was in the house to find me.
<And all I can taste is this moment, and all I can breathe is your life, sooner or later it's over, I just don't wanna miss you tonight>