Jane green... love at first coffee

OK, I was the first person to admit I didn't like sex... maybe it was because of my rows of previous failed relationships. Well- I say rows... I've had three. The first came about in year 7 of senior school. He only dated me for my malteasers though so I'm not sure it counts. The second was in sixth form. He was in a band. I occasionally listened to music.... Thats where the similarity's stopped. Then there's Dan. I met him in Tesco's and that set the tone for the rest of the relationship. Not an amazing line-up- trust me, I know. But nothing seemed as good as they did in books...

Jane always lived with her head in books. But now something- someone- is pushing her to be free and live her own story. But can you love someone you've only just met?

"Yes, But it takes years of practice to be IN love with that someone"

"I don't have years"

"You have all the time in the world"


4. Out with the girls

"Sapho, baby," I picked up my sleek persion cat, balancing her with my massive bag and my keys. She was en-longed and black, like a mini jaguar and was the biggest tart. She purred at me, nuzzling her head against my face before promptly plopping down on my kitchen counter. "I had the worst day at work," I lied, to myself and her. "Cassias assigned me with a problems page! A problems page!" She meowed at me in response pawing at my arm whilst I put my microwavable meal in the microwave. "Are you hungry?" I cooed. She went up on her hind legs and her front paws were delicatly shoved in my face. "I'll take that as a yes," I giggled.

I opened her a tin of cat food pouring it her into her bowl. "I just don't know what to do Sapho," I sighed as the microwave bleeped. "Just reading about all those women's problems made me realize that I don't have problems- And is that necessarily a good thing? I mean- I'm not really doing any thing with my life," I took a mouthful of my warm Indian food, "Do you think Tammy is right?" I whispered too her. She mewed at me before turning back to her food. Well, that was helpful.

I was supposed to be meeting up with Cassia, Ellen and Naomi tonight, "It's just for coffee," I smiled to Sapho. "I promise I'll bring you back a toy too make up for leaving my baby at home on a weekday," I tickled her furry stomach as she stretched out on the sofa of my living room. She mewed nonchalantly  "You run this place any way, You don't care if I leave" I giggled under the prim speculation of her eyes. "I have to get ready now, honey" I called out as I entered my room. I know most people didn't have actual conversations with there pet- but who was around to stop me?

I re-did my makeup and slid out of my pencil skirt and blazer. "Which scarf, Sapho?" I questioned, holding my two favourite scarfs up against my white cami. "The gold or the blue?" She walked out of the room absently and I decided on the blue. I looked myself up and down in the mirror. I actually looked half decent. I was wearing blue skinny jeans, my white cami and my (Extremly excpensive) Oasis jumper. The cream fabric went well with my beige heeled wedges and I looked away from the mirror before I could change my mind. With nothing more too do I grabbed a few random "neccesities"  and shoved them into my over sized bag with a million other things."Bye Sapho!"

I arrived at Starbucks ten minutes late, due too the terrential rain that had flooded almost every road, but it didn't matter as none of the girls were even here yet. Shaking myself like a cat, I chose the table furthest away from the gaghstly weather and ordered a vannila mocha. Why did I have to live in Yorkshire? I let out an exasperated laugh. At this rate, I would be sleeping here.Another fifteen minutes later I raised my head to the screeching noise that had just gained the attention of every one in the shop. "Ugghhh" Cassia entered completly drenched, making a show of stomping her feet and shaking her hair. "Why does God hate my hair?" She whinged as she slid in behind me. "Hello to you too," I muttered, trying to avoid looking at her nappy hair. Laughing was not the best thing too do when it comes to Cassias hair.

"I swear, it took me half an hour to get it right!" Cassia continued on, obliviously trying to fix her short, bleached blonde hair back into place.

"Didn't you check the weather?" I asked, eyeing up her clumpy black heels, thin jeans and white off the shoulder top dubiously.

"No! Why would I do that?" She asked as if I was a crazy person, "That would mean I would have been half-way prepared! And that would make me cautious! I do not do cautious OR prepared!" She ended indignitly.

"Nothing wrong with being prepared" I muttered, defensivly.

"Prepared is too cliched." She argued.

"I am not cliched!" I argued back, not really getting annoyed but just arguing out of habit.

"Of course your n-"

"Hi guys" Naomi squealed, interupting Cassia's sarcastic voice. "I have news!" She exclaimed excitedly. This instantly peaked my interest away from Cassias unfinnished statment.

"I thought Ellen was the one with the news?" I asked, confused.

"Yea... Oh! where is she?" She looked around impatiently, her hands nervously fingering the chunky gold necklace round her slim neck. I noted her outfit for the next fashion edit- white 50's mod dress, peep toe midi-heels and that necklace. Niomi was an indian bombshell. She did the majority of the work around the office and never had a hair out of place. Versus Ellen, whom although worked her butt off- always had a hair out of place.

"Where did you get that necklace?" I smiled, "It's gorgeous!"

"Hi," Ellen grinned at us, ten minutes later, sporting her usual look: flustered and slightly dizzy in a long summery dress (although she had replaced her every-day sandals for floral wellies today). She slid into her seat and looked like she was having a nervous breakdown.

"El, why are you smiling like that?" Cassia said looking more than a little worried. "Your scaring us."

"I was going to wait until we had coffe, but I'm too excited..." Ellen gasped- a grin still plastered on her face- "I'm pregnant!" She let it out in a big clump of words and it took me a while to process what I was hearing. What? Everyone started congratulating her and doing the usual protocol- feeling the bump, asking for details. I joined absently... pregnant? We all knew Ellen and her husband were always either arguing or trying for a baby (Yes, yes, there relationship never made any sense to me) but I guess I hadn't dwindeled on that thought to long,

"I'm getting married," Naomi almost shouted joyously, unable to hold it in any more. Shellshocked. I made myself smile but internally I couln't help but feel a little more than slightly flustered at the overlod of information. Ellen threw her arms around Naomi and I realised that they were both crying in happiness. I cant deal with excitment. Or big news. I dont know why. So I just nodded along like a gormless fool as they filled us in on the details.

Somewhere inside me I couldn't help but be jealous. It looked like someone had flipped a switch inside the both of them. Why couldn't I have that?...

"Me and Phil are going baby shopping this weekend, I could never trust him on his own! He'd probably buy a whole wardrobe of tops with "funny""  She air quoted, "And inapropriate phrases printed on them!" She laughed more happily than I'd ever seen her and I laughed with her, although I felt deflated inside. It's not like I wasn't happy for them- I was. But it just made me realise what is wrong with my life.

"Me and john are searching for a venue this weekend." Naomi smiled calmly. She leaned forward, putting her hands on mine and Ellens, looking at Cassia to let her know she was included. We all wemt silent as she obviously had something important to say, "I want you all to be my brides maids" She anounced emotionally, looking as though she was on the brink of tears (again). Cassia wrapped her arms around her. "Thank you honey," she murmured wiping her own tears away.

We carried on talking about wedding/baby shower plans for the rest of the hour. I didn't have too much input. I just sipped at my coffee, letting the scorching liquid sooth my aching head. And through out all of it I couldn't help worry- Would I ever have a family?

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