10. Whats happening to me?
So, now I finally realize I dont wake up. I think I should just forget about it for a while and get used to my current condition. Dont get your hopes up Rachel, dont, I remind myself repeatedly. i cant help feeling glad. And believe me i havent been glad for a long while. I've been stuck in misery ever since i was stuck in coma. I take that back, One Direction couldn't have met me personally if it wasn't for the accident. Maybe they just pitied me, just like everybody else who comes to visit. Oh, how i ache to just get a glimpse of daylight. Just for a minute, forget that, a second. I just need to see my beautiful friends, just once more... Just once more... But i know its not going to be anytime soon. I dont even know what to do with myself anymore. Its been ages since i got in this coma. Mum says that my condition is improving. And to be honest i dont feel any different. I somehow feel worse, like im drowning in my own grief. Chip and Shiz both visit me after school, nearly everyday. I dont know guys, i dont know how i feel about this anymore. Am i happy? No.
Am i sad? No.
How do i feel? I dont know!
Tracey comes in, i know its her because she's humming a familiar tune. I dont know what it is to be honest. Lately, ive been so confused, and i've been forgetting alot of things aswell. Oh my days! I'm -