"Miss!" A bratty customer called me, irritably, for about the fifth time in five minutes.
"What is it?" I rolled my eyes, going up to their table - again.
"We want a booth." He stuck his fat nose up at me.
"The booths are all filled, sir." I said, digging out my last grains of politeness.
"Then kick someone out!" He demanded, irrationally.
"Ooh, how 'bout that woman in the red with the three kids?" His wife, who looked about ten years younger than him - and richer, suggested. "They look poor..." She said, biting her overly-glossed bottom lip.
"I can't kick people out of their seats, ma'am." I sighed.
"Aren't you a little young to be a waitress?" She twitched a sparkly eye.
"Aren't you a little young to be his wife?" I retaliated.
"I asked for my ketchup a while ago, and you never gave it to me!" And yet another complaint from Johnny Gold-Digger.
"You asked about one minute ago, and since then I haven't rushed to the kitchen to fill a cup with tomato guts. I will get you it in a minute, and this may come as a shock, but you aren't the only customers." I sarcastrically widened my eyes at them.
"I don't like your attitude." Ricki Rich said, looking as if she was about to roar like a lion or something, her eye twitching again.
"I don't like your face, now shut up and leave me alone for a minute."
Okay, so you could say I was a bit irrational there...
"Let's go." She fumed, picking up her large, sparkly, Coach purse. "And no tip for you!" She spat.
"Because I was totally expecting one." I said, sarcastically.
"Let's get as far away from this rudeness as we can get!" The man got up, and hastily pushed his chair in.
"Then you need to visit an intense therapy facility." I said.
"Izzy!" Jerry exclaimed. "You are being very disrespectful!" He rushed over to scold me, like a father. I wondered where mine was, by the way...
"Well they are, too!" I defended myself. "Treat people the way you want to be treated, hello!"
"We must please our customers!"
"They wanted to kick people out of a booth so they could sit there." I placed my hands on my hips.
"Well, that's a bit demanding, but you have to keep nice and calm about it." Then, he turned to the angry couple. "I am so sorry for my step-daughter's behavior."
"Don't call me your daughter." I reminded him.
"Oh, a bit of nepotism, I see." The woman judged.
"Would you like a gift card?" Jerry offered, dodging her comment.
"No. We're never coming back here again." The man turned his nose up again, and the woman strutted out, followed by Big Nose.
And you can imagine my uncontrollable laughter! Jerry laughed a bit, too, actually. I held some pride there.
"Don't ever let that happen again, okay?" He did one of those Ross-from-Friends cough-and-be-serious things.
"Okay." I nodded assuringly, and went off to find more people to drive out for the night. It was kind of fun!