(A/N: hey Sweethearts & Gals! Just wanted to remind you to please,please press the like button, and become a fan of mine, if you'd like, unless you don't like RAR which would suck but I completely understand. It means so much to me when/if you do:')I know it's getting kinda boring but something BIG is going to happen really soon. Anyway, thanks a million and I love you! ×× -ZeeA)
With a few furtive glances and cheeky smirks from Zayn, Louis and Liam after seeing Niall and I exiting the toilet together, looking flushed, I was escorted out of the building by Andy and the man in the suit. Harry joined us later, his hair tousled but manageable, like how it usually was. Then, I was politely but sternly told not to come visit them again because apparently, my presence would "interfere with One Direction's performance". Whatever that meant. Of course the boys,Niall especially, threw a fit trying to defend me but I assured them that it was fine and didn't bother me. Each one of them pulled me in for a hug, Niall giving me a kiss on my lips, whispering how he'd sneak off to be with me later at night. The boys snickered as I blushed deeply. They insisted on sending me home but after a heated discussion with concert personnel, we learnt that this wasn't a possibility. When they offered to have someone send me home, i politely declined, arguing that I was perfectly capable of taking a cab back to the flat.Thus, after bidding our farewells once again, they re-entered the building, having no choice but to leave me on the pavement as they were pushed into the 02 arena.
Nevertheless, I flagged down a cab and went back to the flat. Eleanor had beeped me earlier, asking where I was because she was already back from work, waiting outside the flat.
I apologized for making her "tits freeze" , as she complained, and told her I'd be there soon.
"El, how do you cope when Louis' on tour and you're not allowed to see him?" I asked, after we had entered the flat and settled in.
She shrugged. "It's never easy. You just learn to adapt,"she told me,encouragingly.
"Here," I said, handing her a freshly made cup of tea which she accepted gratefully.
I sat beside her on the sofa, my eyes glued on the telly.
"What's wrong?"she asked suddenly, her eyes on me.
I frowned. "Why would you think something's wrong?"
"Your forehead is creased and you're chewing on your bottom lip, which usually means you're extremely nervous or worried about something,"she stated matter-of-factly.
"Jamie,"she called softly, scooting over closer to me and placing a warm hand on my arm, squeezing gently. "You can talk to me. I know you live with a male and that can be hard sometimes, especially since you don't have many female friends,"she teased, nudging me slightly.
I didn't mind living with Niall. In fact, I loved it. But it couldn't be denied that I craved for some girl company from time to time. And Eleanor and I had grown closer. Eleanor was a lovely girl-I could see why Lou loved her like he did.
"It's just...Niall and I have been getting a lot more intimate lately and I told him that I wanted to wait till marriage until I...you know."
I nodded. "But now, I'm not so sure."
She pursed her lips, thinking. "Do you want Niall in that way?"
I nodded slowly. "I know he wants me too but I don't know...I think I'm just afraid," I admitted.
It was hard to restrain myself from these desires when Niall touched me the way he did, his long, gentle kisses, that instantly sped up my heartbeat and feel dizzy...I felt myself blushing, making Eleanor giggle.
I looked up at her, embarrassed.
"What are you afraid of?"
I inhaled deeply, pursing my lips, looking at my hands in my lap.I held in my breath before exhaling loudly.
"What if he doesn't like it and wants to leave me? I mean,I have no experience whatsoever," I rambled, my eyes not leaving my hands, staring at the ring Niall had given me. I realised it's been almost a year since we've been together. "Or what if he leaves me after realising I have nothing else to offer? I'm not rich, or famous, or gorgeous. I'm just...me."
Eleanor's eyes softened. "Oh Jamie,"she murmured, pulling me into a hug, rubbing soothing circles on my back. I'd just admitted to her my insecurities, and didn't realise as silent tears spilled out from my eyes, streaking my cheek. I didn't know why I was so emotional lately, but frankly, I didn't care.
When I pulled away, she grabbed me by my shoulders firmly and forced me to look at her before speaking.
"I see the way Niall looks at you. When you're not looking, the way he looks at you is..."she rattled off dreamily. "He's genuinely madly in love with you, no doubt about it. And if you thought otherwise for even a second, then you must be mental,"she joked, making me smile a little. "Besides, Niall isn't like that. He doesn't care about fame or fortune and all that shit. He's more serious with and cares so much more about the relationship he has with you than anything else. And you know what Niall is like-he's a carefree, happy-go-lucky type of man-boy,"she smiled encouragingly, trying to reassure me from my doubts."And he isn't the type to sneak his way into a girl's pants and shag her before dumping her. When Niall loves someone, he gives them his whole heart. He even shares his food with you!He doesn't even do that with his best mates! You're his princess and he loves you with all his heart. Isn't that obvious?"
I smiled in agreement. I couldn't rebut her. "When you and Louis, you know..."
"Have sex?"she repeated,snickering as I squirmed in my seat, wrapping the blanket around me tighter.
She smirked. "Well, he always starts with cheeky grabs here and there, followed by sweet kisses. When our clothes are off.."
I cringed, trying to prevent myself from visualising Lou nude,shuddering at the thought.
"It doesn't hurt then. It's quite lovely actually. And exciting. It's basically pain and pleasure, all rolled into one. And Lou's always gentle and sweet.Unless he's really desperate and-"she gushed.
"Please move on," I begged, not wanting to hear details.
"But then when he puts his-"
"Alright, alright! Stop!" I pleaded desperately, closing my ears."PLEASE STOP!" I yelled, jumping onto my feet as she used her fingers to illustrate. I ran into the toilet, shuddering and cringing, perhaps even traumatised. I'd never ask Eleanor about sex ever again. I could hear her laughing hysterically from the living room and I couldn't help but laugh at HER laughter. Laughter was contagious, especially Niall's.
I splashed some cold water on my face, suddenly feeling sweaty. Id been feeling feverish ever since I got back. The cold water, although freezing, felt so refreshing that I decided to take a quick shower. But then, as I remembered that Niall would be coming over later, I shaved. Everywhere. Till my skin was silky smooth and then I proceeded with applying some cocoa-scented Vaseline body lotion. I wrapped my body in a towel, since I hadn't taken a clean change of clothes into the toilet with me. But then,just as my hand brushed the door knob, my stomach churned, my hand flying to my mouth. And pretty soon, I was bent over the toilet,expelling contents of my stomach, feeling utterly horrible.
We'd just ended the show. Finally. What a relief. Not that I didn't enjoy being on stage and getting to perform to our fans, because I always did. I just couldn't wait to see Jamie again. What had almost happened in the toilet was mind-blowing. I tried not to imagine what would've happened if Andy and that idiot didn't stop us or I would've had a hard time concentrating
The lads and I were walking to the dressing room to change into dry clothes, since we'd been jumping and running so much on stage, working up a sweat.
"Hey Nialler," Liam called,putting an arm around my neck.
"Hell-o," I answered cheerfully,excited to finally be able to head back to the flat.
"So what are you doing tonight?"he quizzed with inquisitive eyes as we all entered the room, Harry and Louis plopping on the couch while Zayn slipped on a new shirt.
"I know!" Louis said enthusiastically, waving his hand.
"He's going back to the flat to have some fun with Jamie!"
I laughed, amused by their reactions to an otherwise innocent question.
Zayn grabbed my head in a head-lock and roughed up my hair. "Our little Niall is growing up,eh?" he teased. I struggled to get him off but eventually, he let me go, after pinching my cheeks. I picked up my hat and put it on, heading towards the door.
"Leaving so fast?" Harry teased. "Niall's gonna go get some!" he cheered, his dimples showing.
"Amarán,"I snickered under my breath, shaking my head,grinning nonetheless.
"Tell anyone who asks I'm at Nando's," I told them, my hand on the handle of the door. I slipped my varsity jumper on,adjusting my hat.
I heard Louis snort."They won't believe you'll be at Nando's the whole night, mate," Liam said.
"Just tell them, would ya?"
They nodded and grumbled in acknowledgement as I swung the door open.
"You'll tell us how she was,yeah?" Harry asked eagerly. I felt like throwing shoe at him.
I pretended to not hear him and walked out. But then,while I closed the door, they all cried, "WEAR PROTECTION NIALL!", before erupting in laughter.
"Ye cunts!" I yelled back, shaking my head, as I walked towards the exit, excited to be able to spend time with my mot.